


Crumbled Papers

by SpicyPepper_SweetSugar



Series: The Crumbled Papers Collection [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship/Love, Funny at times but sometimes you might need a tissue, Hurt/Comfort, Trigger warning: Cancer illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 56,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyPepper_SweetSugar/pseuds/SpicyPepper_SweetSugar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"She was going to tell him. She was going to tell him, right now. Felicity licked her lips subconsciously as she stood up from her desk, pushing her chair back slightly as she started toward his office. She stopped again and almost ran back to the security of her chair and turned to face the computer, biting her lip." Olicity, slightly AU! Posted on Tumblr first as a drabble, but because of good response on both Tumblr and fanfiction.net, I decided to post it here too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Revelation

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first Olicity story! Originally it was posted on Tumblr as a drabble, then I posted it on ff.net and because of the good response I got there too, I decided to make it my first contribution on AO3! Hopefully, those of you who haven't read it yet will like it too! Also, it is kind of AU, so if you don't like that, then I'm sorry.
> 
> As I mentioned on ff.net, this had the POSSIBILITY of becoming a longer fic, and because of the wonderful reviews it got on ff.net, I have already decided to continue! The only problem of course is that I don't really have time to write as efficiently as I've written before (mostly because of school), but I'll do my best!
> 
> Share your thoughts!

  
  


She was going to tell him. 

She was going to tell him, _right now_.

  
  


Felicity licked her lips subconsciously as she stood up from her desk, pushing her chair back slightly as she started toward his office. She stopped again and almost ran back to the security of her chair and turned to face the computer, biting her lip. Glancing over at him through the glass wall that separated their offices, she could see that he was deeply concentrated in his own work. Something inside of her was glad that he had failed to notice her and her indecisive movements. Her hand reached down in her recycling bin, and she picked up the paper she had crumbled just a few moments ago.

She tried to flatten it against the surface, but failed, because once paper is crumbled, it can never go back to the way it was.

  
  


That was how she felt at the moment; crumbled. Learning Oliver’s secret and joining the now named “Team Arrow” had crumbled her, in a completely figurative way. Just like the paper, she couldn’t go back to the way she was before she had joined the team, but at the moment, she wished she could do just that. It wasn’t that she was blaming him for what stood on the paper, because that would just be... _not right_.

  
  


She pushed the glasses up on her nose and pulled back her hair behind her ear, before pulling it back up in the front. Her fingers were twitching and she knew that she had to tell him before the end of the day, because it wouldn’t be fair if she continued to lead him and Diggle on. She had known for about two weeks now, and every time she tried to get around to telling them, she chickened out. Perhaps it was because she was afraid that if she told them, it would be official.

  
  


Once again, she stood up and headed over to Oliver’s office. This time she reached the door before stopping, her hand on the handle. As she watched him signing some papers, her breath left her lungs. He was so deeply concentrated that he hadn’t even lifted his head to see her standing there on the other side of the glass. She took a step back, releasing the handle as she inhaled sharply once more. She wasn’t ready.

  
  


Turning on her heel, and starting to walk back to her desk, she stopped when she heard Oliver’s voice behind her, “Felicity?”

Shutting her eyes tightly at the sudden pain in her stomach which appeared when she heard him say her name in that _very_ special tone, she froze for a solid of three seconds before recovering and turning to face him.

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to come inside or are you going to walk back and forth all day?”

The question took her aback. So he _had_ noticed. 

“Yeah,” she said again, walking back toward him. She slipped past him into his office. He closed the door and she heard the _click_ as the lock was turned, which made her fingers tremble slightly. What was the point of having a glass wall between them, if anyone could walk into her part of the office and see them? She tried to cover up her trembling by clasping her fingers together in front of her as he walked toward his desk. He didn’t sit down though, only leaned against the table, and deep inside, Felicity had a feeling that it might have to do with the fact that he wanted them to be on equal ground. If he sat in the chair, he would be Oliver Queen, her boss, but standing up, leaning slightly against the desk, made him Oliver, her… Well.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked her, his tone soft. “You haven’t really been yourself these past weeks.” It was clear that he was trying not to sound worried, but she knew deep down that he was. Ever since she found out, she had tried to avoid speaking to both him and Diggle as much as possible. When she spoke, it was always about work and whenever they tried to get her to tell them how she was feeling, she shut them down with more computer speech.

The look in Oliver’s eyes, however, told her that there was no shutting down this time.

“Where is Diggle?” she asked, the habit of changing the subject making its way through again.

“What’s on your mind, _Felicity_?” he repeated, and this time, there was something about the way he said her name.

She bit her lip and turned around, not being able to look at him. “I wanted to tell you guys,” she began. “It’s just not easy to...get the words out. I want John to be here too.”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure you can fill him in on it later,” Oliver said from behind her. He was still by his desk from what she could hear.

“I’m not sure…” _I can handle saying it twice_ , she finished in her mind.

“Felicity,” Oliver breathed out, “are you all right?”

A lump formed in her throat and she tried to swallow it down as she turned around to face him. “I’m not sure I can do this anymore, Oliver,” she finally said, her voice trembling.

“What?” Oliver asked, looking genuinely surprised.

“I want to quit,” she clarified, the lump in her throat still there.

“Quit you daily job or…?”

“Both,” she said, her voice determined this time.

A lot of emotions flashed through his eyes as she finally met them, but she couldn’t quite describe any of them because of the speed that they had disappeared. “Why?” was all he asked.

“I can’t do it anymore,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” he asked again, this time more sternly. She had known that her excuse wouldn’t be good enough for him. He knew that she deep down loved that she got to help in her own way to protect Starling City.

“Oliver…” she trailed off and looked down again, tears filling her eyes. The crumbled piece of paper was still in her hands. As her fingers clenched around it, it made a sound which caused Oliver’s eyes to move to it. He took a step forward and before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, taking her delicate hand in his. She wanted to pull away, but she couldn’t. Not now, when she needed to tell him the truth. “I’m sorry,” she said again and then proceeded to turn her palm downwards in his hand, giving him the paper in the process before pulling away from his grip.

Not being able to tear her gaze away from him as he opened the letter, she watched as his eyes slid over the words that were written across it. _Once, twice, thrice-_

“I don’t understand,” Oliver finally said, after reading the letter a fourth time. There was something different in his voice as he stared at her with wide eyes.

“I think you do understand, Oliver,” Felicity mumbled, once again tears forming. “Don’t make me say it.”

“No,” Oliver said sternly, letting go of the piece of paper as if it had burned him. “No, no, no…” He kept shaking his head as he moved toward her. His eyes mirrored her at the moment, shining with tears. “Please tell me it’s a joke. Please tell me this is just some sick joke.”

She inhaled sharply again, tears spilling over this time as she covered her mouth, trying to calm her own breathing as she watched the _real_ Oliver break through the facade for the first time in a long, long time.. There was desperation in his eyes that she had never seen before.

“Oliver, I’m-”

“Don’t say it,” he interrupted, turning away from her. “Don’t you _dare_ say it Felicity.”

Time froze over.

“I’m dying, Oliver.”

The next thing she knew strong arms had enveloped her in a hug and she couldn’t stand anymore as the sobs rocked her body.

The piece of paper, with _Starling General Hospital_ , written across it, was by their feet as Felicity clutched Oliver’s shirt in her hands, burying her head in his chest as he held her tightly.

He didn’t speak as she cried, only rubbed comforting circles on her lower back and kissed the top of her head over and over again. Swallowing, he managed to get a hold of himself long enough to get some comforting words out.

“We are going to make it through this,” he told her. As the sobs got worse, he held her even tighter against him. “ _You_ are going to make it through, and I’ll do everything in my power…” The rest of his words faded somewhere in the distance, and in that moment, Felicity knew that she wasn’t alone in all of this, after all.  
  



	2. Telling Diggle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because of the lovely response I got on this story, I'll keep writing it! It will probably be posted as one drabble every week, as long as I finish the drabble before the deadline! ;)  
> Thank you for reading, commenting and the kudos! :)

**"Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 2/?**

**Word count: 1,030**

* * *

Telling Diggle wasn't much easier.

“ _Stage 3 stomach cancer”,_ the paper from the hospital had read. Oliver had needed to read it three times to make sure that his eyes weren't playing tricks on him and after comforting Felicity as she cried on his shoulder, he had decided to do _everything_ he could, so that she would survive. The pain he had felt in his chest as he looked into her teary eyes after she pulled away didn't surprise him much. After all, he had grown to care about her quite a lot since they had met.

Almost immediately, he had asked her which doctor she had been in contact with and how far along it meant to be stage three. She had been far to upset to even begin explaining it to him.

“We need to tell John,” she had said, her breath still shaky and he had nodded and picked up his cell phone to tell John to meet them at the lair.

_-§-_

“What?” John said, staring at Oliver as he showed him the paper from the hospital. When Oliver didn't reply, Diggle turned to Felicity instead, who immediately fell forward into one of John's warm embraces, breaking into tears again.

“I still can't believe it,” she cried. “It's been two weeks and I still haven't even told my parents... You two are the first to know.”

Deep inside of him, an unexpected pride welled. It was weird, that even though his friend- because that was what they were now- was _dying_ , he was weirdly _proud_ that he was the first one she had told the truth to. It wasn't as if it made him feel any better though, because quite frankly, he wished she had never had to tell anyone about it and that it wasn't true. Then his brain processed the words she had said and realized that she had waited _two whole weeks_ to tell him, and suddenly, he wasn't feeling so good about it anymore.

“Your parents,” Diggle mumbled thoughtfully, interrupting Oliver's personal though process.. “When are you going to talk to them? We will be there with you, if you want us to.”

“No offense,” she said, wiping her tears away as her breathing calmed, “but I don't really think my parents will be expecting me to bring the billionaire I work for and his bodyguard with me when I tell them that I've been diagnosed with cancer.”

“Felicity,” Oliver said, but his voice was so uncharacteristically low that neither she nor Diggle heard him. He didn't want this for her; she didn't _deserve_ this.

“No one does, Oliver,” Felicity glumly said, and he realized that he must have voiced his thoughts out loud. “But what's done is done. There's nothing I can do now.”

“Yes, there is,” Oliver said. “You can keep fighting and we'll be there for you, every step of the way.”

She turned around and faced him. “I told you, I want to quit,” she said, frowning at him. “There's no point in fighting because the chance of survival is-”

“Small, but still there,” Oliver interrupted before she had a chance to finish. Felicity shot him a look that he would normally find amusing, but there was nothing amusing about what she was suggesting. “You can't give up. You've never done it before, why start now?”

The challenge hung in the air for quite some time. Diggle didn't say a word and neither did Felicity. Oliver watched her intently as her hands once again began to shake with small tremors and even this time she tried to cover it up by clasping them together in front of her, as she had done at QC when she told him the truth.

“What do you want me to do? Just keep fighting?” Felicity asked, her tone a mixture of both sadness and annoyance. He could tell that she was getting worked up about it, yet he couldn't quite understand why. The Felicity he knew and cared about would _never_ give up so easily. Perhaps he just wasn't grasping the seriousness of the disease? On the other hand, the fact that the illness was _terminal_ , gave him a clue to just how bad it was.

“Do you want me to keep working here too? And at Queen Consolidated as your assistant?” Felicity continued, and he forced himself out if his thoughts.

“ _Yes_ ,” Oliver and Diggle replied at the same time. They looked at each other, coming to a silent agreement. Neither of them wanted Felicity to push them away. Who knew how far her illness had gone- stage three still didn't tell Oliver much- and they wanted to be there for her, as her friends. They wanted to be able to keep a close eye on her and they wanted to protect her.

Felicity took a deep breath and proceeded to rub her index fingers against her temples. “If I agree to stay, I don't want the two of you gushing over me just because I'm...” she trailed off, clearly not wanting to say the word 'dying' more than necessary. “I want you to treat me like you've always treated me; like I'm not sick.”

Oliver started to protest, but Diggle shot him a warning look, effectively shutting him up. “Okay,” Diggle agreed. “But you need to tell us when you have appointments and what the doctor says,” he told her.

“Why?” Felicity asked, raising an eyebrow. “It won't make a difference anyway.”

“We're your friends, Felicity,” Oliver sighed. He didn't want to show her that he was annoyed with her for trying to belittle their friendship and for being so Goddamn stubborn. “As I said before: we're going to be with you, every step of the way and we need to know what the doctors tell you.”

“Don't shut us out, Felicity,” Diggle pleaded, putting his hand on her shoulder. 

Felicity closed her eyes for a brief moment. “Okay,” she finally said, caving. “I'll tell you everything.”

 

And as she proceeded to do so, Oliver couldn't help but acknowledge how the tightness in his chest only grew with every word she spoke and the heavy weight kept building inside of him.

 

 

 

 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated! ;)


	3. Paleness and Tea Flavors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't until a couple of days later that he noticed how pale she had become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry for completely missing out on posting this on Wednesday! I hope I can make it up to those who've waited patiently for the drabble with this slightly longer one!

" **Crumbled Papers"**  


**Chapter 3/?: Paleness and Tea Flavors**

**Word count: 2,194**

* * *

It wasn't until a couple of days later that he noticed how pale she had become.

As difficult as it had been to inform Diggle of Felicity's illness, it had proven to be even more challenging to convince Felicity to stay working with them. Despite the fact that she had agreed to it in the Foundry that night, she had changed her mind at least ten times over the last three days. Repeatedly, she had changed it back too after Oliver and Diggle time after time reassured her that she wasn't, and never would be, a burden to the.

The thought that Felicity had actually wanted to give up and not fight the disease that was slowly killing her was an idea that Oliver wasn't fond of. His friend, the wonderful, strong and bubbly Felicity Smoak, would  _never_  give up. At least she wouldn't have done that before...

Felicity had told them what the doctors had told her and she had agreed to let them know when she had her next appointment, because that was when they would be discussing possible treatments. She had rambled on and told them about the usual treatments the doctors had already informed her of, but on their next meeting, they would decide which treatment was best for her specifically.

There were two things that Felicity wasn't aware of at the moment.

First of all, it was the fact that Oliver was having a difficult time keeping his promise that he would treat her how he always had. He couldn't help but internally wince every time Felicity offered to work overtime, either in the lair or at the office. It wasn't easy to keep going about it as if nothing was wrong; to pretend as if his friend wasn't dying.

The horrible news had shaken him, just as they would shake anyone else. After Felicity had left to go home- she  _insisted_  he didn't drive her- Diggle and he had stayed behind, trying to figure out what to do next. He had asked Diggle if he could do patrols for the night, which had turned out to be awfully silent anyway with minimal criminal activities. Instead, Oliver had spent the night watching the ceiling in his room from his bed, wondering if Felicity would still be by his and Diggle's side in a couple of months.

The second thing that Felicity  _probably_  wasn't aware of, was that Oliver was watching her intently through the glass wall between their offices. She was currently filing a stack of papers and checking off a list, catching her pen between her lips every once in a while as she chewed on its tip. Her lips were painted in her usual fuchsia lipstick, and she was wearing a black pencil skirt along with a white loose blouse which was tucked into her skirt. On her feet, her usual panda flats tapped against the floor.

Oliver watched her as she ran a hand through her long, blonde hair and wondered what she was actually working on. Putting the pen on the table, she lifted the glasses up on her nose with her finger, turning to face the computer monitor instead. In turn, Oliver couldn't help but let his mind wander, if only for a moment, to some  _highly_  inappropriate thoughts.

He shook his head at himself. Felicity was his  _friend_.

Turning his attention to his own files which he had gone over ten times by now, in hopes that Felicity would decide to call it a night so he could walk her down to her car, he sighed. There was no point in trying to do  _anything_  anymore. The nights had been longer than usual since Felicity's revelation and last night, after getting home, he had called his family's doctor, hoping that he had some contacts that might be able to help.

Despite the pain inside, he chuckled to himself. Turns out there were three things Felicity didn't know. The third was that he had used his father's connections all over the world to gather some of the best doctors and form a team that would try to help her.

Yet again, Oliver looked up. Felicity was leaning back in her chair, looking up at the ceiling, much like he had done the night before. He couldn't keep watching her if he wanted to keep sane, so he stood up and walked out to the hallway, trying to ignore the curious look she sent his way was as he made his exit.

When he returned, he was holding two cups, one with coffee and one with tea, but before entering the room, he stopped dead in his tracks. Felicity was standing with her back toward him, looking out window. Slowly, he walked up to her and stood by her side.

"Hey," he said, using his "Felicty-voice" which he only used with her.

"Hi," she whispered, still not looking at him. He held out the cup with the tea that she preferred drinking. "Thanks," she said, louder this time after clearing her throat. As she took the cup from him, their fingers brushed for a second too long. When he looked at her, he noticed just a hint of blush that had appeared on her cheeks. That's when he noticed it; how pale she had been all day.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, trying to keep an even tone as he spoke to her. His eyes kept going over her face, scanning her arms and usually creamy legs as he realized that she was looking a lot paler than usual. "Have you eaten something today?"

She scrunched her nose up, looking disgusted. "Yeah, but my appetite isn't what it used to be," she told him, bringing the cup to her lips and taking a sip. "God, I love this tea!" she exclaimed, making a sound that made the worried frown on Oliver's face transform into a small smile instead. "You know," she continued, still looking out the window, "I've always been more of a tea-person than a coffee-person. It was weird because my parents drank a lot of coffee and even when I was at MIT and had projects to finish, I never drank it. My roommates used to say that I was crazy for not liking it, but I guess it just wasn't..." she trailed off, looking at him curiously suddenly. "What?" she inquired, raising an eyebrow. "You're used to me rambling about irrelevant things, so what's that face?" she asked, pointing her finger at him, making a circular motion with it.

Oliver cleared his throat and grinned at her, looking away, out the window. "Nothing," he lied, when in truth, he was shocked at the thoughts that were making their way through his brain. "I never knew anyone could be  _this_  passionate for some tea." His comment made her grin at him, and briefly, he forgot about her illness.

"You haven't tried  _this_ tea," she emphasized, holding the cup up for him to take. He looked at her warily before taking it from her, once again brushing his fingers against hers. It felt good. Better than he would ever admit out loud. Keeping his eyes on her, he took a small sip.

"You're right," he agreed. "It is good."

There was only three types of teas available at the office currently: gray tea, forest fruit tea and the one that he had chosen for Felicity, a mixture of peppermint and jasmine tea.

"You just took one right out of the basket, didn't you?" Felicity smiled knowingly, almost as if she had known that he was thinking how lucky he was to have chosen a tea that she liked by accident.

"Yeah," he admitted with a grin. "But since you like it, I guess I was lucky. I don't know a thing about teas."

"You know plenty!" Felicity protested, her amusement clear in her tone. "You know plenty of herbs and remedies which you must have used on the Island. I mean, if you didn't then you would probably have died from poisoning... Sorry," she bit out, after seeing the look in his face.

"It's okay, Felicity," he said, offering her a smile and her cup back, which she gladly took before taking another sip.

Then he realized what their exchange had meant. He had subconsciously put his lips where Felicity's had been only moments earlier, and now were again. Forcing himself not to think about it as an indirect kiss, he wanted to bang his head against a wall to prevent his brain for having those thoughts ever again.

"Do you know what will probably be my biggest regret?" Felicity asked, waking him from his inner battle.

"Don't talk like that," he told her, but she wasn't even looking at him anymore. Her eyes were once again focused on the city outside. It was dark and honestly, they should probably be in the lair now, preparing for a long night on the streets, but Oliver wasn't complaining. The lights in the various buildings illuminated and Oliver had never realized what a breathtaking view of the city he had from his and Felicity's offices.

"I mean, if I don't make it," she clarified. "Which doesn't mean I'll stop fighting, because you and Diggle would probably lock me in somewhere and force me into chemo anyway." He didn't deny it and she continued. "There are so many different kinds of teas out there, which I haven't tried yet. I know, it's weird, but that's the thing I'll regret most, if I don't make it." The sobriety in her tone shook Oliver. Honestly, it almost scared him a bit, which was surprising considering that he spent most of his night being a supposedly fearless vigilante.

"You'll regret not having drunk tea?" Oliver asked, his eyes still focused on her face, which really was paler than usual.

"I'll regret not seeing the world," Felicity explained. "Going with you to Russia is probably the only time that I've been out of the States," Oliver winced at the mention of Russia, "but yes, the tea is probably the reason for that too. I mean, can you imagine all the different cultures you can get a taste of by drinking tea? Almost every country that I've ever wanted to visit has their own tradition and special flavor. I just wish I'd get the chance to try them all out."

She raised her head to look at him when his hand connected with her shoulder. He squeezed it lightly and she offered him a smile. "You'll try them all, Felicity," he told her, almost as a promise.

Once more, she smiled, taking a sip from her cup of tea. "The city is beautiful tonight," she commented casually and he nodded.

"It is."

"We should probably get to the lair. Diggle might be waiting."

"He might, and yes, we probably should," he replied, yet he couldn't tear his eyes off of her. "How about I drive us there and we make a small stop on the way?" he suggested, an idea forming in his head.

Felicity turned to look at him, her eyes widening with curiosity. "A stop? Where?"

Instead of answering immediately, he took the cup from her fingers, brushing his fingers against hers again, and put them down on her desk before grabbing her coat. He helped her put it on and she kept looking at him, now almost suspiciously.

"It's a surprise," he chuckled.

"I don't particularly like surprises," Felicity informed him. "Not since the nut-incident in College- Oh _my God..._ I didn't mean-"

"I get it, Felicity," he laughed as her cheeks turned red. "I remember your nut-allergy."

"Good, because for a moment there, I thought you might have misinterpreted me and thought I meant-" He stopped her rambling by covering her mouth with his hand. Her eyes widened as she looked up at him, her lips still moving against his lips, mumbling something that sounded like an apology.

Ignoring the chills that he got from feeling her lips pressed against his hand, he smiled, "Let's just go before Diggle calls us."

"Okay," she agreed and together they walked out of the building.

As they settled into his car, she turned to look at him expectantly. "So where are we going?"

"A new tea house opened downtown last week," he grinned. "Their slogan is that they have 'every flavor from every corner of the world.'"

At first Felicity's eyes widened in excitement, before a frown appeared on her face instead. "But it's late," she pointed out. "It's probably closed."

"We can just check when they are open then," Oliver suggested, cursing himself for not thinking as logically as Felicity. Maybe because all he wanted to do was make her happy?

"Yes," Felicity nodded, smiling at him again, and all of the sudden, she didn't look so pale anymore. "Then we can go there another day."

"We will," Oliver promised, his smile mirroring hers.

-Olicity-

As they drove to the Foundry later, Oliver made a mental note to order more flavors of tea for the coffee-room at Queen Consolidated.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of those who have read the story so far and thank you for leaving kudos and comments! Thoughts are always appreciated! :)


	4. Appointments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Felicity arrived at Starling General, she was surprised to see none other than Oliver Queen sitting in the waiting room outside of her doctor's room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of you who've commented, given kudos and read this story so far! I'm really happy with the lovely response! Feel free to comment if you have any ideas or something that you'd like to see in the story! :) Enjoy!

" **Crumbled Papers"**  


**Chapter 4/?: Appointments**

**Word count: 1,926**

* * *

When Felicity arrived at  _Starling General_ , she was surprised to see none other than Oliver Queen sitting in the waiting room outside of her doctor's room.

The day had begun as it usually had the last couple of weeks; with stomach pains. She had gotten used to it by now, and the doctors had given her some pain killers to numb the pain, but she wasn't exactly a pill-happy person. Instead, she got out of her bed and walked around the room for a while, knowing that it would help because she had dealt with it way too many times to count by now.

It was in the morning that she usually got mad at herself for not going to the doctor sooner. On the other hand, when she had lost her appetite a while back, she figured it probably had to do with the stress that came with being on Team Arrow by night and keeping up with a good facade at day by being Oliver's Executive Assistant. How could she have known that loss of appetite was one of the symptoms of stomach cancer? When the abdominal pain began, she first blamed it on PMS, but when she was late- which she never usually was- she suspected something might be off. She visited the doctor the next day and they took some blood samples and then told her to go home, and that they would inform her as soon as they got the results.

Two or three days later, her doctor called her and asked her to come to the hospital so that they could speak. When Felicity asked him if something was wrong, he asked her to just get to the hospital as soon as she can.

She got there half an hour later.

Her doctor called her in and informed her of her condition and the only thing she did, was ask him to send her a paper with her test results so that she could use it when resigning. He didn't question her choice, because it wasn't his place, even though he thought the best thing for her would be to continue life like normal, and just come in for treatments and checkups.

He proceeded to tell her about the treatments, but she asked him if they could talk about it another day because she needed some time to think. The doctor told her that considering how far along the cancer was, it wasn't good to wait more than necessary, mostly because of how busy the hospital was these days. She had excused herself anyway and told him that she just needed to process things and inform her family before she entered any treatments.

Dr. Applebeam had called her in today and told her that she  _needed_  to set up her treatment schedule with him immediately if she didn't want the cancer to get to stage 4. He hadn't given her another choice, so here she was, walking into the hospital and heading toward his office since he had told her not to wait at the reception.

"Oliver?" Felicity nearly gasped when she saw her friend sitting in the waiting room outside of Dr. Applebeam's office. "What are you doing here?"

He stood up from his chair, a relieved look on his face. "Good, you're here," he said instead of answering her. He took another step toward her and for a second Felicity thought he might hug her, but then he didn't.

"How did you know I would be here today?" she asked, causing him to look anywhere but at her.

"I might have called the hospital last night and demanded to speak to the doctor that was responsible for your treatment," he admitted, a cheap smile on his face.

Felicity didn't know whether she should be touched by his concern, or mad because of his invasion of her privacy. Then again, privacy wasn't something that was relevant anymore.

"You shouldn't have," Felicity managed to get out and he took her hand.

"If I hadn't, you might have had to wait another week, and only gotten worse," he told her softly. Her heart was beating fast in her chest when she realized that Oliver must have pulled some strings to get her the appointment and she couldn't help but be thankful.

Before she had the chance to thank him though, the door to Dr. Applebeam's office opened and the doctor, a man in his mid-thirties, stepped out. "Ms. Smoak?" he called, looking up at Felicity before turning to Oliver, "And Mr. Queen, I suppose?" He extended his hand toward Oliver, who shook it and nodded politely, his other hand still holding onto hers. "Will Mr. Queen be joining us today, Ms. Smoak?" Dr. Applebeam asked, looking at their hands.

Felicity looked up at Oliver, expecting him to let go of her hand, but he didn't. Instead, he squeezed it lightly, not looking away from the doctor. "Yes, he will," Felicity said, realizing that Oliver had no intention of leaving.

He held her hand as the doctor told her about the schedule he had set up for the treatment. Chemotherapy and radiation were top priority at the moment, because they needed to try to shrink the cancer before it spread to the rest of her body. Stage 3 was treated the same way as stage 2, with radiation therapy first and 5-flourouracil chemotherapy second. Considering that her cancer had just reached stage 3- at least that's what the doctors could see- they wanted her to begin with neoadjuvant chemotherapy as well, just to raise the chances of her getting better. After a couple of weeks of treatment, they would call her in for a surgery, to try and remove some of the tumor which had begun its penetration to the third layer and the more distant lymph nodes.

When Felicity glanced at Oliver, he looked like he was going to be sick, which was unexpected of him. She knew that he was worried for his friend, but also that he didn't understand everything the doctor was telling them.

"The positive thing, Ms. Smoak-"

"Please, call me Felicity," she interrupted.

The doctor smiled, "The positive thing,  _Felicity_ , is that you came in  _before_  the cancer reached stage 3, which means that it still isn't  _completely_  in stage 3," he explained. "That means that the chance of recovery is better than it would have been if you had been in the later part of the stage." Oliver turned to look at her, his eyes widening for a moment, almost hopeful. "However, that doesn't mean that it will be smooth sailing either. Getting through this will be hard, Felicity, but luckily, you have friends like Mr. Queen here, who are willing to help you fight."

Felicity blushed and Dr. Applebeam excused himself for a moment to go get some papers for her to fill in and to get a nurse to take some more blood samples. As soon as he had left the room, Oliver turned to look at her. "See? There is still a chance, Felicity," he told her.

"Yes, there is, Oliver," she smiled sadly, which only caused him to frown.

"What's wrong? You heard what he said," Oliver continued, but Felicity squeezed his hand to stop him from speaking. He effectively shut his mouth and stared at her. "Is there something you're not telling me?" he asked her quietly.

"The test results were from over two weeks ago, Oliver," she told him. "Who knows how it looks  _now_."

"It's the  _same_ ," Oliver stubbornly said, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "There might be a little change, but not much, which means that you'll still get the treatment that Dr. Applebeam mentioned."

Felicity bit her lip, but nodded. "Why did you come here today, Oliver?" she asked him, her voice so low that he had barely heard her.

"I wanted to be here for you," he said, his tone not wavering. "Diggle couldn't make it, unfortunately, but he'll be here next time."

"You told Diggle too?" Felicity asked and Oliver nodded.

"Well, since you didn't tell us yourself, which you  _promised_  you would do, I had to tell him," he shrugged. She wasn't sure if he was accusing her for not telling them, or just making a point. Before she had a chance to ask him, the doctor walked back into the room, this time with a young nurse by his side.

"This is nurse Adams," he introduced, "and she'll be taking a couple of blood samples, Felicity." Felicity smiled at the girl, but she was staring at something else-  _someone_  else. Oliver though, didn't seem to notice.

"Hi," Felicity said, shocked by her own tone. The nurse jumped and looked at Felicity, finally tearing her eyes off of Oliver. "I'm Felicity, and this is my friend, Oliver," she introduced, almost bitterly, but no one seemed to notice.

"Mr. Queen," the nurse nodded. "I know, I recognized you from the news," she said, a smile appearing on her lips. Felicity felt as if she wanted to throw up, but she wasn't quite sure why. Of course, it might have to do with the slight jealousy she  _might_  be feeling at the moment, as nurse Adams looked at Oliver as if he was a piece of meat.

"Did you have any questions about the treatment, Felicity?" Dr. Applebeam asked, interrupting her thoughts of getting up from the checkup-chair and punching the girl on the nose.

"Actually," Felicity said, tearing her eyes away from the nurse, "I do." She glanced at Oliver and noticed that he hadn't taken his eyes off of her, even when the nurse had addressed him. "It's about the chemo," she explained. "Will my hair...?" she trailed off, leaving the question unfinished. She already knew the answer, because she wasn't  _stupid_. That, however, didn't change the fact that she wanted the doctor to 'make it official'.

"Yes, Felicity," the doctor said sadly. "Your hair will most likely fall off during your treatment, but that is a minor loss compared to your life, which you might get to keep if everything goes as we hope it will."

Once again, Oliver squeezed her hand.

"It's okay," Felicity said. "I just wanted to know."

-§-

When Oliver later followed Felicity to her car after the appointment was over, he offered to drive her home, but she protested, saying that they still had work to do at QC.

"At least let me drive," Oliver sighed. "Diggle dropped me off here and I need to get to the office some way."

"I'll drive, Oliver," Felicity told him. "You just try to fit in the front passenger seat, which should be a challenge considering how big you are." It took a moment for her to register her words, and when she turned to Oliver with wide eyes, the smile on his face eased her worry.

"Your way of choosing your words is impressive, Ms. Smoak," he grinned before getting into the car, surprisingly quick.

As she drove Felicity absentmindedly caught the tips of her hair, twirling them around her fingers. A tightness made its way into her chest and she sighed deeply. The next thing she knew, Oliver reached over and took her hand which had been twirling the hair.

"It'll grow out again," he told her confidently. "Right after you get better."

He squeezed her hand again, like he had done at the doctor's office, and suddenly, the tightness in her chest was fading away again as she smiled lightly at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts are, as always, welcome! :) Thank you for reading!


	5. Research and Miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver does some research at home and reflects on his growing affections for his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your continuous support and kind words! :) I hope you'll enjoy this one, even if there's technically no Felicity in it!

**"Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 5/?: Research and Miracles**

**Word count: 1,504**

* * *

Oliver regretted his decision the second he started reading about metastasis.

After a long day at the office and an even longer night patrolling the city and training in the lair, Oliver had forced himself to make an appearance at Verdant. Diggle had offered to drive Felicity home and they had parted ways a couple of minutes past midnight. Yes, it had once again proven to be a slow night and after finishing patrols, Oliver had returned to the lair and told Diggle and Felicity that they could leave.

It amazed him sometimes, how much he had changed since being shipwrecked. It was only normal, of course, but even he couldn't deny the fact that he had missed listening to music the entire time he was stuck on Lian Yu. Now though, the music in the club was just annoying the hell out of him and making him quite uncomfortable. Nevertheless, he waved at a couple of people, small talked with a few others, flirted  _innocently_  with a girl or two and then headed out to his motorcycle to drive home.

It wasn't until he was speeding through the streets that he realized why the music had bothered him tonight. The sole reason for it, was his friend, Felicity. How could he walk around in a club and pretend to party when she was sick? Why would  _anyone_  party when Felicity was sick?

Naturally, he knew that no one besides him and Diggle knew about Felicity's illness, and that even if he broadcast it on national television, most people wouldn't even know who she was. They certainly wouldn't care about her condition. Oliver cared- he cared  _a lot_.

When he had called the hospital and  _demanded_  to speak with Felicity's doctor, he had practically forced the man to make an appointment the next day. He had then waited for Felicity's call, which had never come, and immediately he had called Diggle and informed him. Unfortunately, Diggle hadn't been able to make it, but Oliver took it upon himself to be by Felicity's side, even if she was sometimes too stubborn to agree to having him there.

He had taken the liberty of holding her hand one too many times already, but he knew that it made her- and  _him_ \- feel better. Sometimes he was afraid that she might pull her hand away from him, so each time when her hand stayed in his, he exhaled a breath of relief. Holding Felicity's hand felt  _good_ , and for the time being, Oliver didn't want to question why he had made it a habit. Each time they had seen each other after the appointment, he discreetly took her hand in his and squeezed as he sat by her side while she checked some data on her monitors. At the office he would send her a smile or two throughout the day, or put his hand on her shoulder if they passed each other in the hallway.

If Diggle had noticed the change, he didn't say anything about it.

Oliver arrived at the Queen mansion a couple of minutes later and instantly, he threw himself on his bed. After laying there for a good hour or two, he realized that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep any time soon. Instead, he got up and pulled on a pair of old sweats and a black T-shirt of his, got his laptop and walked to the living room, where he settled on the couch. He googled ' _stomach cancer_ ' first, and then proceeded reading through pretty much  _every_ site that popped up.

Every story he read, was written by family members who had had a loved one die. They told their stories and how they had gotten better, until one day it all just turned around and went to hell. He managed to find a survivor story or two, but those were not in the same stage as Felicity was, so he couldn't really make a connection between their different cases. Instead of reading the stories, he went on and read general facts about the disease, which he regretted profusely.

"Ollie?" a voice said from behind him, making him jump. He turned around and saw Thea standing in the doorway. "What are you doing down here?" she asked. He clicked down the pages quickly, trying to cover up the fact that he had been reading about alternative treatments for cancer, and turned back to his sister, offering her a smile.

"Couldn't sleep, so I decided to try and catch up on some pop culture," he offered, but Thea's eyes told him she didn't really believe him.

"Is that why you were looking up cancer treatments?" she inquired, not wasting any time to pretend that she hadn't seen what he was doing. "Is there something you want to tell me Oliver?" After asking her question, she walked up to him and sat by his side, taking the computer from him. She opened it and looked at the pages he had been reading from. "Why are you reading this?" Thea asked, a slight tremble in her voice.

"It's not me, Thea," Oliver told her, almost not recognizing his own voice. "It's, uh, a friend of mine," he hesitated. He wasn't sure if Felicity would appreciate him talking to Thea about her illness. Honestly, he wasn't sure why he had risked getting caught with the research in the first place.

"Your friend?" Thea said, finally looking up at him. He only nodded, not being able to respond. "Is he or she going to be okay?"

He  _hated_  showing weakness, especially around his sister. Last time she had seen him upset had been at Tommy's funeral, but even then he had kept mostly to himself. "I don't know," he replied, his voice raspy. He cleared his throat and Thea took his hand in hers. She squeezed it sympathetically and then let go of it before she started searching for something.

Oliver watched her with interest as she pulled up page after page, until she finally settled on one. She turned the computer toward him. "This man," she said, pointing at a picture, "got the diagnosis stage 4 stomach cancer." Oliver leaned in to look at the man. He looked perfectly fine, along with his family. "Even after the doctors told him he only had two months to live, he fought and looked for alternative treatments because he wanted to live. He's been cancer  _free_  for almost four years now," she told him.

"My friend has early stage 3," Oliver said, reading through the article quickly before Thea took the computer from him again. Once again she searched the web until she found a page.

"This woman," she said, "was treated with every possible therapy for her  _lung cancer_ , and miraculously, she got  _pregnant_  despite her treatment, giving birth to a beautiful  _healthy_ baby boy."

"How is that even possible?" Oliver managed to choke out. He could feel his throat close up with emotions.

"It's a miracle, Ollie," Thea smiled sadly. "You were a miracle too. Maybe it's time that you start believing in them," she said. "Maybe you'll be able to help your friend by being there for him-"

" _Her_ ," Oliver interrupted. "She... I think she wanted to give up first, but I managed to convince her with the help of another friend."

"How come you've never told me about this girl?" Thea inquired. "She sounds like she's pretty special to you."

Internally Oliver cursed his sister for being so good at deducing things. "She is," Oliver admitted.  _More than I could ever tell her,_ he wanted to say, but knew he couldn't. It would be unfair to admit to anyone that he had always thought of Felicity as just a little bit more than a friend. He had told her after Russia, that he couldn't be with someone he could really care about, and that had been true. However, that didn't change the fact that the connection he felt with her ran deeper than most would even understand. He knew that she had had some kind of a crush on him, but he had never allowed himself to act on it because it would probably have ruined them. She was too valuable for his work; she was too important to  _him_. If he told her how he had grown to feel about her, she would probably accuse him of only saying so because she's dying, and of course, that would be the first thought of everyone else too. ' _Oliver Queen's charity case'_  is probably what they would call her in the magazines, and Felicity deserved more than that.

So no, he wouldn't cause her more pain by telling her how he felt. At least not at the moment. If Thea was right, he was going to hope for a miracle that would save her, and  _when_  she gets better, he will not waste another second and immediately tell her how he feels. Maybe then, she'll allow him to stand by her side, forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was having a bit of mixed feelings about this drabble; mostly because there was no actual Felicity in it, but I guess I sort of wanted to have some Oliver/Thea sibling bonding in the story too. I mean, I don't think Oliver would be able to keep YET ANOTHER secret from his sister... But that's just my thoughts on it.
> 
> Next week, there'll be a shared lunch coming up! ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments are golden peeps!
> 
> P.S. And the survival stories of the man with Stage 4 stomach cancer and the pregnant woman with lung cancer are true! One of them I read up on online and the other I saw on the news and read an article about in the newspaper, so I haven't made those up! :)


	6. Lunch with Diggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Diggle have lunch while waiting for Oliver who is stuck in traffic, and talk about fighting to survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Drabble Wednesday everyone! And Arrow is back tonight (but since I live in Narnia, I won't be able to watch it until tomorrow morning... *sigh*)! Anyway, here's the next part of Crumbled Papers! :)   
> Thank you for all the support by the way! It's appreciated! :)

“ **Crumbled papers”**

**Chapter 6/?: Lunch with Diggle**

**Word count: 1,565**

* * *

 

Felicity sat at their usual table at Big Belly Burger, waiting on Diggle to return from the bathroom. The two of them and Oliver had decided to have lunch together to get some 'Team Time' in, as she liked to refer to it as, but unfortunately, Oliver was currently stuck in traffic and running late.

“How are you feeling, Felicity?” Diggle asked when he returned to the table. They had already ordered their food and were waiting for Carly to bring it over. “Oliver filled me in on the appointment and the treatment plan. Are you nervous?”

Felicity smiled slightly. “About fighting to survive? No,” she said, shaking her head. “Now that I think about it, I probably should have been more nervous about your reactions when I almost decided _not_ to fight,” she mused.

Instantly, Diggle's look fell. “Yeah, I'm sorry that I have to express myself so bluntly, but what the hell were you even thinking?” he asked. “Did you really think we would let you go without a fight?”

“I honestly don't know,” she sighed. “Maybe it was just my way of coping with everything?” Trying to avoid his gaze, she looked down at the table and began scraping at it lightly with her index finger. “Oliver was very optimistic after the appointment,” she said, “but Dr. Applebeam told us it would be a difficult journey.”

“I'm sorry I couldn't be there,” Diggle said, putting his hand over hers to stop her from making a permanent mark on the table.

“It's okay,” she smiled, finally looking up at him. “You'll be there next time.”

“Yeah, and I'm still a little mad at you for not telling us about the appointment the second you got the call,” he told her and she couldn't help but grin sheepishly at him.

“Well, now that I know that Oliver is in direct contact with my doctor, I won't really have to tell you since he'll probably find out before I do,” she said, causing Diggle to chuckle.

“You're right,” he said thoughtfully. “And he'll tell me, and I'll be there for you too. That's what friends are for, aren't they?”

“Sometimes, I think I'm too lucky to have gotten involved in...the _business_ ,” she said, almost mentioning the Arrow out loud before managing to stop herself. “I mean, otherwise I would probably have been going through all of this alone.”

“Don't talk like that, Felicity,” Diggle said. “You probably had lots of friends before me and Oliver. _Better_ friends even.”

“Sure, I had friends,” Felicity said, “but not friends that were close enough to tell about a terminal disease. You and Oliver are my closest friends, and not just because we share a common secret.”

Diggle watched her carefully for a good minute. She wondered if she had said too much. Maybe Diggle and Oliver only saw her as someone they worked with? Had she gotten it all wrong? No, she couldn't have. Why else would they pretty much force her to accept the treatment the doctors were offering? Why else would Oliver have been there for her and why else would Diggle be sorry that he missed it? Of course they cared about her! She was being silly.

“We're lucky to have you on our team, Felicity,” Diggle told her, interrupting her though process. “And I'm a lucky man to be able to call you my friend,” he said, just before Carly brought over their food.

“I'll bring over Oliver's food when he gets here,” Carly smiled at them before walking off.

“Thank you,” Felicity called after her, looking down at her plate. The burger that would usually make her mouth water didn't look very appealing now.

“What's wrong?” Diggle asked. He had been about to take a bite from his own burger when he had seen her expression and stopped.

“My appetite hasn't been what it used to be,” Felicity replied, trying to brush it all off with a shrug. She carefully took the burger into her hands, thinking that maybe she'll like it when she takes a bite from it.

“You have to eat, Felicity,” Diggle stated, “but if you don't feel like eating the burger, there are other things too, you know.” He motioned to the menu on the table, but Felicity quickly shook her head.

“No, the burger will do fine,” she said, taking a small bite from it. “See?” she mumbled, chewing slowly. She felt sick to her stomach, no pun intended, but she tried not to show it. Although, by the look she was receiving from Diggle, she could tell that she wasn't very convincing.

“I'll ask Carly to bring you a milkshake,” he said and she put the burger down with a sigh.

“I'm sorry, Dig,” she said. “I don't want to be a burden.”

“You're _never_ a burden,” Diggle calmly said. “Sure, sometimes you make it very hard for us to not laugh as you ramble away, but I find that more endearing than burdensome,” he joked.

Felicity's lips curled in a half-smile. “I'll be taking that as a compliment then,” she smiled.

“And to return to our previous conversation about survival,” Diggle said, wiping his mouth with a napkin, “I think you'll be fine as long as you don't give up. I saw a lot of things during my time in the army, and honestly, I wish I could tell you that all of them were good, but they weren't. All I know is that I learned that if you keep fighting, you'll eventually pull through,” he explained. “Once my unit and I were ambushed by the Taliban, and all because I stopped to try and help a young girl. All of my men, my _friends,_ were killed, but I didn't stop fighting until I had killed every last one of the people who ambushed us. It was difficult, and honestly, there were a few close calls when I thought I was done for,” he told her. He seemed to be deep in thoughts as he told his story. Felicity tried to pull him back by putting her hand over his, much like he had done to her earlier. She gave him a sad, yet reassuring smile, and was glad to see that he mirrored it with his own lips turning up. “The point is that I kept fighting and _I_ pulled through. You can do the same, because I _know_ that you're strong enough,” he finished.

Felicity nodded at him. “I wasn't sure I was at first,” she told him. “When I first got the news, I didn't know how to deal with it. I guess that's why it took so long for me to tell you guys. I mean,” she shook her head at herself, “it took me _two weeks_ to tell you, and even then, I was barely able to bring myself to do it. Believe me when I tell you that I didn't feel very strong then.”

She paused as Carly came up to them and asked them if they wanted anything else while they waited for Oliver. Diggle asked her to bring Felicity a strawberry milkshake. At first Felicity had wanted to protest, because she _really_ wasn't hungry at all, but then her stomach growled and she almost groaned at herself for changing her mind so often. Carly only smiled at her, walked away and then came back with the shake a few minutes later. During that time, Diggle had finished eating his own burger, and offered to take care of Felicity's as well, which she was glad to get rid of.

She took a long sip from the milkshake, savoring the taste of strawberries and bananas for a moment before picking up where she'd left off. “After I told you the truth, the reality of it all sort of hit me like a ton of bricks,” she said. “I didn't see a reason to keep fighting and now I'm guessing that it was because I kind of had hit my absolute lowest point. What really scared me though, was when you guys pretty much told me that I was being stupid for not even trying,” she admitted. “It was a wake-up call in a way, I suppose. Mostly because I hadn't felt that I had a reason to live.”

Diggle surprised her by smiling. “And now?” he asked. “Have you found a reason?” His question hung in the air for a while. As she was contemplating it, she heard the door opening behind her and she turned around, only to see Oliver stepping inside. He scanned the place for them until his eyes finally met hers, and he smiled brightly at her. When he waved and mouthed that he would be there as soon as he told Carly he was there so that she could get him his meal and Felicity waved back at him before finally facing Diggle again.

“I have,” she told him, just as Oliver joined them at the table. He sat down next to Felicity and lightly put his hand over hers and squeezed before pulling it back and apologizing for being late. As he told them about the traffic, Felicity listened intently, not being bothered the slightest by the knowing look that was being displayed on Diggle's face, as he watched her and Oliver agree on how much they loathed about red lights and traffic jams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hoped you liked this chapter! Comments are golden, as usual, and next week, you'll get to read about Felicity's first treatment! If you only knew the feels I had while writing that one...
> 
> Oh well, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me either here or on tumblr (where I'm more active)! Thank you once again for reading! Lots of love!


	7. Treatments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity goes to her first treatment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drabble Wednesday! Sorry for being late with the chapter! I got held up with something else, but it's still ten to midnight here where I live, so technically, it's still Wednesday! ;)
> 
> Hope you like the chapter! Had a lot of feels while writing it.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

 

**"Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 7/?: Treatments**

**Word count: 2,412**

* * *

 

Felicity was watching the monitors in the Foundry intently, not tearing her gaze from them for even a second. On the training mats, Diggle and Oliver were sparring, and she was contemplating on how to bring up the subject that was currently occupying her brain.

"Oliver," she finally spoke up; it was now or never. Besides, she was almost one hundred percent sure that he already knew, but just hadn't said anything about it.

Handing out one last strike, causing Diggle to fall to the mat, he turned to face Felicity, who wasn't even looking at him. She did however see his sweaty and shirtless reflection in one of the monitors.

"Yeah?" he asked, reaching for his bottle of water, taking a sip from it as he waited for her to continue.

"I'm going to need the morning off tomorrow," she told him and then waited for his reply.

"Okay, how come?" he asked and she heard him take another sip. Internally, she groaned. She knew what he was doing. Trying to sound all innocent and unknowing, when in truth, he had probably gotten a call before she had. He clearly wanted her to tell him anyway.

So she did. "I have my first treatment scheduled tomorrow morning," she said, trying to sound just as careless as he was pretending to be.

"What time?" John inquired, but Felicity still didn't turn to face them.

"Eight in the morning," she answered. "I talked to Dr. Applebeam yesterday and told him that I wanted the treatment early so that I could be back at work for lunch," she explained quickly. "I understand if the two of you are busy though. I mean, Oliver, I  _know_  you are busy, since I went through your schedule this morning and saw that you had a meeting with some potential clients, so I understand if-"

"I'll cancel the meeting and reschedule," Oliver said, his tone serene. "Dig?"

"Do you want me to pick you up, or should we meet at the hospital?"

Felicity almost smiled. Even though they were insistent to be there for her, she couldn't help but think reasonably. She knew very well that they couldn't be there to hold her hand every time, because they too had lives to maintain, but sometimes, she just wanted to be selfish and handcuff them to herself so that they wouldn't leave her side at all.

The reason she was trying to sound so  _okay_  with all of it, was that in reality, she was scared as hell. When Dr. Applebeam had called her and told her that he had made an appointment for her to receive her first treatment for the disease that was eating her from the inside, she had wanted nothing more than to ignore it all and bury herself in work instead, all because of her fear. It wasn't just the fear of receiving the treatment though; it was also the fear of the treatment not working. She had read rapports on it and watched enough documentaries about cancer to know that sometimes it just didn't work. The doctors would try and try again, but ultimately, it all had the same result: death.

This was why she was glad that Diggle and Oliver would be there with her. Whenever she was alone, she usually let her mind wander off to places that weren't so bright and happy. The only thing that kept her occupied, were her two friends and the work they did together, both during the day and during the night.

"Hey," Oliver's voice broke through her inner thoughts. She finally turned to look at him. He had walked up to stand by her side and put one of his incredibly warm hands on her shoulder. "You're not alone," he reminded her, squeezing her shoulder lightly.

She only offered him a small smile and a nod, before going back to work.

-§-

The next morning Felicity wasn't surprised when she got to the hospital, only to see Oliver and Diggle already waiting for her outside.

"Good morning," she told them, trying to keep her tone positive, but she knew that she wasn't fooling them. She had never been very good at hiding her nervousness and fear, and right now, she knew that she probably looked like a deer in headlights.

"Morning, Felicity," Diggle said, giving her a reassuring hug as a greeting. Oliver, however, kept his distance, but smiled encouragingly at her as they walked inside and went directly to Dr. Applebeam's office.

"Ah, Felicity," Dr. Applebeam said when he spotted them. He had been talking to a nurse, showing her some papers, and Felicity was glad that it wasn't that nurse Adams who had looked at Oliver as if he was a piece of meat.

"Dr. Applebeam," Felicity acknowledged. "You've met Oliver already," she said and the doctor nodded, "this is my friend Mr. Diggle," she introduced.

Diggle shook the doctors hand, "John," he said politely and the doctor nodded.

"It's good that you've brought someone to keep you company today," the doctor said. "I've made sure that you have a room all to yourself today since it's your first treatment. I believe we decided that we'd start off with radiation, which will take approximately half an hour and then we'll get you some 5-flourouracil chemo," he said, checking his notes as he did.

Felicity nodded and managed to choke out a small "yes," when she felt a warm hand wrap around hers. Straightaway, Oliver managed to bring her back. She glanced at him from the side, but he didn't move or do anything else that would indicate that anything was out of the ordinary.

"I'll need you to change into a hospital gown for a while, but I'll have a nurse bring it over to you as soon as you get settled in the room," he said, offering her an encouraging smile.

"Okay," she nodded, trying to smile back, but she knew it must have ended up more like a grimace.

"Felicity, this is  _good_ ," Dr. Applebeam insisted. "Usually, we start off with a surgery to see how things are, but since we got such clear pictures from your first check up, we decided that it would be better to begin with the treatment immediately."

Felicity didn't say anything, only nodded as the doctor called over a nurse to show them to the room. He told them that he would be there shortly to inform them how the treatment would go down in more detail.

When they got to the room, she slowly pulled her hand away from Oliver's, but only because the nurse handed her the gown she would be wearing and instructed her to only keep her panties on for the radiation therapy. Felicity hadn't been able to hide the blush that crept up her cheeks, and avoided looking at both Diggle and Oliver with all her might as she walked into the bathroom to change.

It took her a good couple of minutes, because she felt the need to collect herself before she walked back into the room. When she did, Oliver and Diggle were standing by the window, looking out. She could tell that they had talked about something, but she knew she would probably never find out. So, she cleared her throat and they turned to face her. Awkwardly, she tugged on the gown, even though it went to her knees as she offered them a small smile. She was nervous, and she knew that they could tell, but instead of saying anything, both of them crossed the room at the same time and embraced her tightly. Maybe it should have felt strange, this group hug, but Felicity only felt its effect as a wave of support and calmness washed over her.

They pulled back at the same time and this time, Felicity smiled brightly at them. "Thank you, guys. I needed that," she told them.

The hug really had helped her gather her courage for the next hour that followed. First, Dr. Applebeam informed her in detail of the radiation treatment and told her that Oliver and Diggle unfortunately couldn't be in the room with her. However, they could stay in the monitoring room where the doctors would be, and they would be able to speak if they wanted to through microphones and speakers.

The table felt cold through the thin fabric of the gown as Felicity laid down on it. Some nurses worked around her, checking things and marking them off on their notes. For a second she thought she had seen nurse Adams in there, but she couldn't be sure since her thoughts were spiraling out of control. It had taken twenty minutes for the doctor to explain how it would all go down, another twenty minutes to prepare for the treatment and make the necessary measurements and finally, what had seemed to take the longest, yet another twenty minutes for the treatment.

She heard the static of the speakers as they turned the microphone on in the observation room. It all reminded her about the devices they used to communicate when Oliver and Diggle were out on the field. "How are you doing in there, Felicity?" Dr. Applebeam asked her.

She didn't respond, because she honestly had no clue what to say. Sure, she was uncomfortable, because she couldn't see any of them because her table was turned sideways to them and she had gotten strict orders not to move around after they had locked the poisonous rays on the target, but she wasn't in pain. Actually, she was feeling quite numb.

The static was heard once again, but this time, another voice spoke. " _Felicity_ _._ " Oliver's tone broke through and Felicity couldn't help but wonder for a moment if he was looking as worried as he sounded.

"I'm okay," she finally replied, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"We're here," Oliver spoke again, and this time she could hear the relief in his tone. "Both of us."

"I know," she said calmly, and once again the static was gone. She had to stay there for yet another ten minutes, before the doctor shut the machines down and she could finally sit up.

Next, they took her back to the room Dr. Applebeam had reserved for her, and she laid down on the bed, closing her eyes for a long moment. She had done it. She had taken the first step on the incredibly long journey that she had ahead of her.

Dr. Applebeam walked in with some nurses in a tow, and told her that he wouldn't be able to stay for the next part of her scheduled treatment because he had another case to attend to. Both Felicity and Diggle had had to glare at Oliver pointedly so that he wouldn't say something to object, because the look that had covered his face for a split second had told them that he had been about to use his "Arrow-voice", as Felicity had dubbed it, on the poor doctor.

Soon enough, the nurses had hooked her up to the bags that would be feeding her body the poison that would hopefully destroy the killer that was inside of her. Then, it was just her, Diggle and Oliver left.

"How are you feeling?" Diggle asked after an hour. Felicity had been watching the IV intently, as if trying to see if she could spot the drugs killing both the good and the bad cells in her body.

"I'm fine," she said thoughtfully. "Although, I am a little tired. Who knew that chemo could take so long?" she giggled.

Diggle smiled back at her as he put his hand over hers, but Oliver, who sat at the end of the bed, only looked sick. "The doctor said it would take another hour or two, and that you can go home then," Diggle reminded her.

"But we have to get back to the office first," Felicity said, shifting slightly on the bed. "Oliver, you have a meeting in three hours, and if you're not there, then Isabel will-"

"It's okay, Felicity," Oliver spoke up. "Don't worry about it." Felicity met his gaze, instantly knowing that he wouldn't be there at all. Instead of saying anything else, she closed her eyes for another moment.

Half an hour had passed when she finally opened them again. She could have sworn she had only blinked, but it seemed that she had dozed off a bit. Oliver had moved his chair and was sitting on the other side of her bed, watching her intently. He had his elbows on his knees and his head rested in his hands, but when he met her eyes, he seemed to calm down a bit.

"Hi," he said, a small smile on his face.

"Hey," she smiled back. "I can't believe I fell asleep."

"The nurses told us that it was perfectly normal," Diggle said from her other side. "Especially since it's your first treatment. Fatigue and nausea are normal."

"Well, I'm not feeling sick yet, if there was an underlying question in your statement," Felicity said thoughtfully. "God, I hate hospitals," she groaned. "They smell weird and they remind me of that time in college when I ate that brownie by accident and suffered from an allergic reaction. I can't wait to get out of here."

"Just an hour or so left," Diggle told her, sounding amused. Of course her rambling amused him. Quite frankly, she thought she had even seen Oliver's lips quirk slightly at it, but she didn't mind. She was only grateful that they were there with her.

"I'm glad you're here," she told them, feeling the need to express her thoughts. "I really, really am."

Diggle was still holding her left hand, but then she felt Oliver take her right one in his. He squeezed it lightly, causing her to turn to look at him.

"We're here," he told her again, just like he had during her radiation treatment. For some reason, it felt as if he was telling her something else too, but she decided she didn't want to think deeper on the matter. Maybe she was over-analyzing things, as she had a tendency to do sometimes?

Instead, she did what she had done as she had laid on that cold table in the radiation room. She smiled, but this time, since she had his hand in hers, she squeezed it back too, before speaking, "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are golden! :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	8. Rides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity says something and that something leads to a ride that she'll never forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drabble Wednesday time! :D Which means another chapter of Crumbled Papers for you guys!
> 
> Once again, thank you for all the support you're giving me and this story! It really means more to me than you'll ever know!
> 
> Enjoy!

  
" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 8/?: Rides**

**Word count: 2,343**

* * *

The only sound that could be heard in the Foundry, was Felicity's typing and Oliver's occasional grunting as he trained. Diggle had gone home for the night, and Oliver had just recently returned from patrolling. He had told Felicity over the comm that she could go home, but she had told him that she had some last searches to go through.

The truth, however, was that she had spent most of the day looking through old pictures on her cousin Mark's Facebook page. He was quite the adventurer, Mark, she mused quietly, as she looked at the pictures of him driving a dirt bike on some foreign location she had only seen on the  _Discovery Channel_. Next came some pictures of him climbing the Mount Everest with his girlfriend, him in a helicopter for his twenty-first birthday and one of him jumping off a small bridge in some European Country.

She glanced over at Oliver, thinking of the things he must have been through while shipwrecked. Besides the constant terror, Felicity figured, it must have been quite an adventure. There were still a lot of things that Oliver had told her and Diggle were to painful to talk about, but at the same time, he had told them quite a few stories since they got to know each other.

Felicity knew Oliver had been through a lot, and the issues she was having at the time, only seemed miniscule in comparison. Taking her eyes off her computer, she glanced over at Oliver, who was preparing to get on the salmon ladder. Once again, she turned back to her computer and looked at Mark's pictures again.

"I want to jump off a building."

_Clank!_

Felicity turned at the sound of metal dropping and Oliver groaning, raising her hand to her mouth at the sight that met her. Oliver was laying on his back, the stick he used on the salmon ladder had fallen out of his hand and was rolling on the floor.

"Oh my god!" Felicity exclaimed, standing up. Although, she didn't move closer to him. "Are you okay?"

Quickly, Oliver rose to his feet and inhaled sharply, rubbing his shoulder lightly. Without speaking, he only gave her a look, and in that moment, she thought back to what she had actually said.

"Not to kill myself!" she said quickly, realizing what it must have sounded like to him. Oh, she really needed to think before she spoke. "I mean, I want to live," she blurted, "but I really want to jump off a building too you know... Like, bungee jump!" she explained. Her hands were twitching and Oliver shot her a confused look. "Skydiving could also be an option, but I kind of did that when Diggle and I came to get you on Lian Yu... I don't know if I want to count that though, since Diggle pretty much had to force me to-"

"Felicity," Oliver interrupted. She shut her lips tightly and looked at him expectantly, but he didn't say anything else.

"Climbing a mountain could also be a good option," she began again, but Oliver took a step toward her, his face stern.

"I'm not letting you jump off a building," he told her, his tone mirroring his look perfectly. As he took yet another step toward her, she began feeling a bit cornered, but for some reason, the way he had spoken, only made her annoyed.

"Why not?" she exclaimed. "You jump off of buildings all the time! You get shot, and you hurt yourself, giving me mini-heart-attacks as I listen over the feed!"

At the mention of mini-heart-attacks, Oliver's lips quirked up in a small smile, but it only lasted for a second before his face turned even more serious than earlier. "And you're not getting shot any time soon either," he informed.

She groaned and sat back on her chair, spinning around once or twice before Oliver stopped her by putting his hands on her shoulders.

"What brought all this on?" he asked, this time softer. He looked genuinely curious to her sudden outburst and unexpected ramble, and she contemplated just shrugging it off as not important. Yet, she knew that he wouldn't just let it go.

"It's just that, I'm  _dying_ , Oliver," she sighed, watching as his muscles tensed. His hands squeezed her shoulders lightly, and she knew he didn't like  _that_  word. Ignoring his reaction, she continued, "It sucks, and I know that I'm trying to fight and whatever, but it really, really, really-"

"Sucks," he finished for her, his grip on her shoulders loosening slightly.

"Yeah," she bit out. "The thing is that when I think about what everyone else my age has done, my life is kind of boring, you know? I mean, the only two real risks I've ever taken in my life are jumping out of that plane with Diggle, which as mentioned, I don't really count, and joining Team Arrow," she explained.

"You've taken  _plenty_  of risks, Felicity," Oliver reasoned. "Not that I like it when you do," he added quickly.

"But most of them have been with Arrow-business," Felicity complained, earning another look from Oliver at her tone. "I just want to  _live_. Do something crazy. I know it's cliche, but I just want to be able to say that I've done  _something_  exciting for  _once_. Like, something that I could tell my kids one-" she stopped short, her mouth still open. She felt as if the breath had been knocked out of her. Letting out a shaky breath, she spoke again, "Never mind, I guess it really doesn't matter."

How could she be so stupid sometimes? Surviving stage 3 was already difficult as it was, and here she was, making Oliver worry about her sanity by proclaiming that she wanted to jump off buildings, and for  _what_? So she could tell her  _children_  about it. Her chest tightened as she realized that she would probably never have a kid of her own...

"Felicity," Oliver said, breaking through her thoughts. Without realizing it, she had turned off the computers and started getting dressed to head home. "I'll just take a quick shower and change. Wait here," he pretty much ordered.

"What?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Once again, his hands found her shoulders. "Trust me," he smiled before walking off. She sat back down on her chair without hesitation. When it came to trusting Oliver, she never thought twice about it. Not only was he her friend and hero, but he was also her partner. For some reason, that title meant a lot more to Felicity than the others. Partners needed to trust each other, no matter what, and she did, she really did trust him with her life.

Oliver stepped out five minutes later, washed clean and dressed. He grabbed his keys and motioned for him to follow him, which she gladly did. She didn't speak as he grabbed two motorcycle helmets and led her through the backdoor at Verdant, to where his bike was parked. It wasn't until he made a move to put one of the helmets on her head that she spoke.

"What are you doing?" she asked, but she couldn't help the smile that spread across her lips. She knew perfectly well what he was doing.

"You're saying you want to do something exciting," he pointed out. "You want to do something crazy, and I want to keep you safe, so we're going to compromise," he announced.

"By teaching me to ride a bike, or just go on a ride with you?" she asked, closing her eyes for a moment at her choice of words. "I meant going on a ride on your  _bike_  with you," she clarified.

"I understood," Oliver chuckled. "But yes, you're going on a ride with me. On my bike," he mocked, putting the helmet on her head before pulling her hair out over her shoulders. He turned away from her and climbed on the bike, motioning for her to get on behind him with his head while putting on his leather gloves. They went good with the jacket he was sporting.

Felicity climbed on the back and he showed her where to put her feet. "How is riding a motorcycle going to be something worth telling people? Besides the fact that you're Oliver Queen, my boss? I mean, I've been on a bike once or twice with an ex of mine, but it wasn't exactly memorable."

Oliver's bike roared to life as he turned his head to look at her. "You've never been on a ride with anyone like  _me_ ," he winked, finally putting his own helmet on. "Hold on tight," he said, and she instantly wrapped her arms around him. The next thing she knew, they were flying through the streets of Starling City.

To say that it was exciting, would be an understatement. Felicity's eyes were wide as Oliver swerved and steered them through the night traffic, holding onto him tightly, but she couldn't stop laughing for some reason. Oliver's driving was  _crazy_ , to say the least, but she also knew he was holding back so that he could keep her safe. His compromise made sense to her now, but she really appreciated it.

"Are you okay?" he called out and she nodded against his back.

"Yes! I'm better than okay!" she shouted back over the wind. A giggle rose in her throat as he sped up a little more, and she actually let out a squeal of joy. The shaking she felt as she leaned her helmet-clad head against Oliver's broad shoulders proved to her that Oliver was just as amused as she was and that he was laughing with her.

Then, his speed slowed slightly. Felicity was about to complain, but stopped herself when she felt his gloved hand fall over her own. Her heart was racing, and not only because of the adrenaline she could feel rushing through her body. The small gesture, which had become somewhat of a 'thing' between them, gave her comfort like nothing else. Sometimes, she wondered if Oliver was aware of that, and that that was the reason he kept taking her hand.

His hand stayed there, over hers, as he steered them through the streets, his speed slowing until he finally stopped completely, putting his feet back on the ground and turning the bike off. She didn't feel like letting go of him just yet, and she gave herself another ten seconds of just holding him. His other hand also came down to hold onto the one he hadn't been holding, and he didn't speak first. She was feeling good, and from what she could tell, so was he. He seemed relaxed as she held onto him, and when he broke the silence  _twenty_ seconds later, his voice was raspy.

"Felicity."

She only hummed in response, and he squeezed her hands once more.

"I have something else to show you, which will hopefully make this night worth telling people about," he told her, his voice back to normal again.

Realizing that they couldn't stay like that forever, she finally let go of him, but instantly felt the loss as he got off the bike. She got off as well and he took of his own helmet first before taking off hers. For a solid four seconds, time seemed to stand still as they looked at each other. Felicity blinked a few times, watching as emotion after emotion passed through Oliver's eyes. She wanted to put a name to every last one of them, but they were never there long enough for her to recognize them and before she knew it, he had broken the gaze, only to put the helmets on the bike.

"Won't someone take them?" she asked, finally finding her voice.

"I don't really care," he shrugged. "I have a couple of others at home anyway."

"You're disgustingly rich," she joked and he actually cracked another smile.

"Come on," he said, taking her hand and leading her into an ally.

"You aren't going to kill me, are you? I mean, I know you're not, but you never know when someone snaps, and- Oh never mind," she groaned. "I think I've reached my limit on being funny today."

Still, he chuckled at her failed attempt at a joke.

"Where are we going?" she asked as he led her to the emergency staircase connected to the building.

"To the roof," he replied, still holding her hand as he led them up the stairs.

"The roof?"

"I've been up here patrolling multiple times," he explained. "It gives a great view of the city," he said as they finally reached the top. Felicity's eyes widened as she took in the sight. Starling really was beautiful at night. The building they were standing on probably wasn't the tallest one, but it was in a place that gave one of the most beautiful views she had ever seen.

At Queen Consolidated, they always looked down on the city, but here... Her eyes followed the flickering lights of cars and the bigger buildings on the other side of town, which were visible from where they stood.

"Pretty, isn't it?" Oliver asked, standing beside her. She hadn't realized it until then, but she had been walking closer and closer to the edge to get a better look.

"Oliver," she breathed, turning to look at him. Her eyes were filling with tears and she fought the urge to throw herself at him and hug him. Instead, she gave him a smile. "Thank you."

He responded by simply taking her hand in his and putting light pressure to it before turning back to look at the view. She watched him for another moment, before following his gaze.

As they sat there on the edge all night, holding hands while arguing over where Queen Consolidated was, Felicity decided that she didn't want to tell anyone about this night. She wanted to keep it all to herself, which would only make it even more special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? This was one of the happier kind, since I was kinda just feeling like it! :) Oh, and I was by NO CHANCE whatsoever trying to be clever and give double meaning to the chapter summary on this one! ;)
> 
> Next Wednesday, Felicity's parents will be explained for those of you who have been wondering! :)
> 
> Thank you for reading and remember, comments are golden! ;)


	9. Phone calls and Story telling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity finally shares a part of her story and office bonding ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drabble Wednesday, yay! And a new episode of Arrow is on tonight too! Too bad I live in Narnia and won't be able to watch it until tomorrow morning, but then I have to go to school too, so I won't be able to see it until later in the evening... Oh well, college sucks!
> 
> Also, next Wednesday, I have a HUGE statistics exam coming up and I really, really need to study, so I'm not sure I'll be able to post next week... But we'll see!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one! :)

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 9/?: Phone calls and Story telling**

**Word count: 3,062**

* * *

 

_Riiiing! Riiiing! Riiiing!_

Oliver looked up from his desk to Felicity, who muttered something under her breath and declined the incoming call on her cell phone. Tilting his head to the side, he inspected her from afar, like he found himself doing more than once every day for the past couple of days. Actually, scratch that: Something he'd been doing discretely ever since he made her his EA.

Her phone had been ringing constantly this morning, something which was unusual, especially considering the fact that she usually turned her private phone off.

_Riiiing! Riiiing-_

Felicity groaned exasperatedly and either turned the phone off, or put it on silent. Oliver watched as she sighed and buried her face in her hands and took that as a cue to step out of his office and see what's wrong.

"Felicity?" he asked, walking toward her desk.

"Yes, Oliver?" she asked, her voice muffled because she hadn't lifted her face from her hands, but there was something almost playful in her tone still, which made Oliver smile.

Now  _that_ , was Felicity. No matter how much under distress she was, she was always trying to keep it to herself and protect the ones around her that she cared about. Oliver prided himself to be one of those people.

"Whatever it is," Oliver began, "do you want to talk about it?"

At his question, Felicity lifted her head and looked at him, quirking an eyebrow. "Is this the part in the movie where I start rambling on and on about my problems, and you, as my guy-friend sit and pretend to listen to me and then in the end tell me that everything is going to be okay?" she asked, almost in one breath.

Oliver blinked once. " _No_ ," he drawled, "this is where I, as your friend, actually  _do_ listen to you and  _then_  tell you that things will be okay, because I'm certain they will be."

Felicity looked as if she made a move to look at him the way she had when they first met, when she was calling him out on his lies, but then stopped herself.

"Why don't I text Dig, see what he's up to, and tell him to get us some take-out from that Chinese place you like so much and join us for lunch?" Oliver suggested, taking his phone out and sending a message to Diggle.

"We're having lunch  _here?_ " Felicity asked. Oliver nodded. "With Diggle?"  _Nod_. "Who is supposed to be your bodyguard and nothing else?"  _Nod_. "At the office? Where anyone could suspect that we're actually more than just co-workers?"

Oliver watched her without saying a word. He waited for her to continue to question his plan, but Diggle had already replied that he would be there in twenty minutes.

"We  _are_  more than co-workers, Felicity," Oliver pointed out.

A light blush crept up on her face. "Yeah, I know we're friends and all that, but you know very well about the rumors that are going around here about you and me," she whispered in annoyance. "I don't want us to add fuel to the fire," she explained.

"Is that what it's all really about? Or are you just trying to come up with excuses not to talk to me and Diggle about something that is clearly bothering you?" he quipped.

"Damn you for being so perceptive," she said, crossing her arms over her chest and sticking her tongue out like a child. "I bet that's another thing you 'learned on the Island' along with 'how to tell if something is bothering a woman,'" she snorted, turning back to her computer. She was being snappy today, which on some level, felt comforting. In a way, she was acting like she did when he did or said something which annoyed her, and he had always found that to be amusing and 'so Felicity'. Since she had shared that she was ill with them, he hadn't seen much of that side of her. It felt good to at least get a glimpse of it now, even if it was redirected at him, from whoever it was that had been calling her all day.

His phone made a sound and he looked down to read Diggle's reply. "Diggle will be here in ten minutes," he informed her, not moving from his place by her desk. "Make sure that you finish whatever you're doing until then."

When she didn't say anything, he knew that he had gotten through to her, so he walked back to his own office to shut off his computer and save whatever project he had been supposed to read up on, when Felicity had distracted him.

When he turned back around, Felicity was standing in the doorway, watching him. Something inside of him fluttered as she bit her lip and looked down for a while, but he didn't dare break the silence.

"I really don't want to talk about it," Felicity quietly said. "But I'll do it, with you and Diggle," she concluded with a small nod, almost as if she was reassuring herself that it would be fine.

"Okay," Oliver nodded, motioning for her to step inside, but she quickly shook her head.

"Can't we sit at my desk?" she asked. "I just- I need to be close to the phone. The work phone!" she clarified. Once again, Oliver only nodded as he stepped toward her. Putting a hand on her upper arm, he trailed it down to her elbow, like he used to, and led her back into her part of the office.

"Hey guys," Diggle greeted them as he walked into the office, holding a paper bag with some Chinese writing on it. "Were are we going to sit?" he asked, looking around. Without saying anything, Felicity walked over to her desk, pushed the chair in and sat down on the floor. Oliver and Diggle watched her curiously as she made herself comfortable, pulling her skirt down a little so that she wouldn't accidentally show them too much. Oliver almost chuckled, but nevertheless, without asking questions, he walked over to her and slid down to the floor next to her. They both turned to Diggle expectantly, and he offered them a small smile.

"I'll sit on the desk, if you don't mind," he said, amusement clear in his tone as he began taking out the boxes and handing them their respective order. "So, do you guys want to tell me what this is all about?" Diggle asked, raising an eyebrow at them. "Oliver texted and said that you seemed upset about something."

"Yeah," Felicity nodded. "I guess you could say that I'm a little bit upset." She opened her box and began unwrapping her chop-sticks before taking a bite of a piece of chicken. "I e-mailed my mother and told her the truth," she explained.

"You  _e-mailed_  your mother?" Diggle asked, voicing Oliver's own thoughts out loud. At her statement, Oliver's mouth had gone slack and he couldn't seem to form words to ask the millions of questions that started running through his head.

Felicity had never before talked about her family, he realized, which only made the revelation that she would send an e-mail to her mother about something like a disease even more difficult to understand.

"Yeah, I sent it last week, right after the treatment was over," Felicity said. "But she has this thing about almost never checking her mail, so I'm guessing she saw it today and decided to call."

The shrug that followed, made Oliver raise his eyebrow in question. "And you've been avoiding her, because...?" he drawled. She turned her face toward him and for the first time since they sat down, Oliver noticed how close they were sitting. Their shoulders were touching and their faces were only a couple of inches apart. All he would have to do, was to lean-

Felicity looked away and the moment was broken. She cleared her throat before speaking. "My relationship with my mother hasn't been the best," she explained. "My father left us when I was just a little girl, and my mother wasn't the best at coping."

Diggle shifted on the desk he was sitting on and Oliver stayed quiet, letting Felicity know that he was listening.

"I guess you could say I never really knew him," she said, "but that doesn't mean I don't remember how much it hurt when he left. My mom, she..." Felicity trailed off, poking her food with her chop-sticks. "She started acting strange. Drinking and seeing strange men were just the beginning of our issues... I tried to look after her, and still somehow managed to get good grades in school. I remember coming home when I was sixteen and some of my friends in high school wanted to go bowling after school. I hesitated, but finally went with them, figuring that she would be fine at home. When I returned, I found her passed out in the hallway, barely breathing, so I called 911 and went with her to the hospital."

Oliver's fingers twitched and her had to take a breath. Felicity was opening up about her past, something that he had been avoiding to do every waking second that he spent with her and Diggle. Hearing her open up, made him wonder if he too one day would be able to... If it was Felicity or Diggle, he realized, he probably would one day whether he meant to or not. His two friends had that effect on him.

"My mom got a little better after that, because I think it scared her to see what she'd become," Felicity continued. "But my relationship with her was beyond repair by then. When I learned that I had been accepted into MIT, I confronted her and lashed out, telling her that she had to get a grip because dad wasn't coming back, and he would never see what had become of her. I told her that he would never be sorry for leaving us and that he wouldn't care if she ended up drinking herself to death." Felicity took a breath, and when Oliver looked at her, he noticed her eyes were brimmed with tears.

"It took a while, but my mom came to while I went to college," she took a bite from her chicken again and chewed. Oliver looked down at his own box, which he still hadn't touched, so intent on listening to Felicity. He took a big bite, careful not to spill anything on his dress-shirt.

"During my last year at MIT, my mom e-mailed me and told me she had met a pediatrician and that they had been together for a couple of months and that she was moving in with him," Felicity said. "As soon as I got a break, I went back home and visited. My mom was almost back to the way I remembered her when I was a kid, and I really like Hank too. I actually like thinking of him as my dad, since my real father was never there. My relationship with my mother has been  _strange_ , to say the least, and I don't think I'll ever be able to get past some of the things that happened between us," she finished. "So that's why I've been avoiding the phone all day. I can't sit here and talk to her and pretend that she cares, when I know that she'll always see me as the child of the man who left and broke her heart."

Silence filled the office.

Oliver put his own chop-sticks back in the box and held it with one hand before turning to Felicity. He put his hand on her knee, and she looked up at him, eyes still teary, which only made his heart break. "I'm sorry," he told her.

"It's not your fault, Felicity," Diggle then spoke up. "Your mother was supposed to be there for you, no matter what, and she wasn't. Oliver and I understood that something was up when you told us you hadn't spoken to your parents, but we didn't want to upset you by asking."

"We didn't want to force you to share anything that you weren't ready to share," Oliver explained, earning a low chuckle from Felicity.

"So cornering me at the office, telling me that I didn't have another choice but to talk about it isn't forcing me to share something that I wasn't ready to share?" she laughed.

"Well, I didn't know that  _this_  was the issue," Oliver said seriously. "I'm sorry that I pressured you."

"It's okay, Oliver," Felicity smiled. "I feel a bit better now that I don't have to keep it inside. Honestly," she added upon seeing the look he shot her.

"I'm still sorry," he told her quietly, looking away. There was a clear change in the atmosphere around them, but he didn't want to address it. His thoughts were everywhere. He kept thinking about a younger version of Felicity, trying to get her mother to work through her issues, but at the same time getting the best notes possible in school, just so that she would be able to get away from it all.

Oliver had had his fair share or problems with his own mother while growing up. The woman hadn't always been there when he needed her, but he couldn't exactly claim that he had been the easiest kid to raise either. Whenever he had wanted something, he had always gotten it, but never appreciated it. Maybe it was because he hadn't had to fight tooth and nail for it like some other kids? How could he appreciate something if it was thrown at him just because he pointed at it?

In preschool, he had listened intently as one of the kids explained how they had had to beg their parents for weeks for that new toy that had just come out, and how proud they were when they had finally convinced them to buy it.

He himself had gotten the toy before it was even out in the store.

When he got home, he threw it away.

"Oliver?" Felicity's hand over his brought him back from his quiet walk down memory lane. He looked up at her, her face filled with worry. "Whatever you're thinking, stop," she told him. "You didn't know me back then, and even if you did, there wouldn't have been anything you could have done."

He looked up and noticed Diggle had left. "Where did Dig go?"

"He left because he got a phone call from Carly," she replied, "and don't try to change the subject, Oliver."

"I'm not blaming myself for what you went through as a kid, if that's what you're thinking," he sighed, knowing that he couldn't fight her on the matter. "You're right. I didn't know you back then, and even if I did, I wouldn't have been able to do anything."

"So what's bothering you then?" she asked, her hand still over his. Her thumb shifted, creating a featherlight brush against his knuckles which still managed to make his heart jump in his chest.

"I just never knew you grew up like that," he explained. "I would never have though..." he trailed off, clearing his throat before continuing, "I'm just sorry I pulled you into this world of darkness and danger. You've been through enough and I-"

"Oliver," she interrupted. He looked up at her again, not realizing until now that he had been avoiding to look at her. She offered him a sad smile. "I would have been going through things even if you hadn't been introduced into my life, Oliver. The only difference is that I never would have gotten to know you and Dig, so don't bother feeling sorry for introducing me to a life of 'darkness and danger', when in truth, it's probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me."

He stared at her. Then at her lips, and  _God_ how he wanted to just lean over and press and a light kiss to them. But it wouldn't be fair to either of them. Not now, when she was sick and he was supposed to be her friend, helping her through it.

_When she gets better_ , he told himself.

He opened his mouth to speak, but clinking of heels stopped him.

" _What_  are the two of you doing on the floor?" Isabel Rochev's voice rang out. Both of them looked up at the same time. She was looking at them as if they had grown two more heads. Her eyes narrowed as she spotted the take-out boxes in their hands. "What? You needed some privacy so you decided you should get  _dirty_  on the floor?" she inquired, making emphasis on 'dirty' and making sure they noticed the meaning behind her words.

Oliver glanced sideways at Felicity, who was blushing and looking like she wanted the floor to swallow her. Turning back to Isabel, he gave her a small smile. "Ms. Rochev," he said, making her look at him. "Would you please come back later, and only if it's  _important_? I'm afraid I'm not available currently because I'm having lunch."

Isabel's smug look fell from her face at his words. "What do you mean you're not available? You're sitting  _right here_ , on the floor with your  _secretary,_ " she spat.

" _Executive Assistant_ ," he corrected, not sounding the least bothered. "And I'm eating," he wiggled the box he was holding in his hand, making a point. "So either come back later, or e-mail Ms. Smoak and schedule and appointment, like every one else in the company."

Isabel's jaw went slack for mere second, and Oliver prided himself for putting her in her place. She sent him a glare and turned around, walking out of the office without another word.

Oliver turned to look at Felicity, who was trying to hold her laughter in by covering her mouth with her hand. Oliver chuckled, and she giggled before they both broke out in laughter.

The conversation they had had before Isabel walked in was resolved as they laughed together and through their laughter, they came to a silent agreement. When Diggle walked back into the office, he smiled as he found the two of them laughing together. He didn't even ask what had happened, when he joined them with a chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Diggle... Laughing along, despite not knowing the reason... I just love him! :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading! We'll see if I post next week though, since the test is in the afternoon... Reviews are motivation! *wink wink* :)
> 
> P.S. If you have any requests after this chapter, or ideas too for that matter, please do share! :)
> 
> Next up, one more office chapter before the "hair trilogy" comes into play! ;)


	10. Fatigue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Felicity's second treatment, Oliver watches as his friends struggles to stay awake at the office. In the end, he makes her a deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Even though I have this massive headache, I decided to put on my glasses and post this chapter before I pass out! The test went good, I hope (!), but I really am exhausted, so hopefully, I'll have some reviews that'll cheer me up after I post this! :)
> 
> Enjoy!

“ **Crumbled Papers”**

** Chapter 10/?: Fatigue **

** Word count: 1,942 **

* * *

  
  


“This has honestly been the longest morning of my life,” Felicity complained as she stepped into their office. Oliver followed her closely, not knowing whether he should say something or just let her keep ranting. “I mean, Dr. Applebeam _really_ took my request for early morning treatment seriously,” she continued. “By seven, I was already hooked up to the I.V!”

Oliver's stomach dropped slightly at the mention of the tubes that had been stuck in her arms, but remained silent. They had just returned from Felicity's second treatment, which had been scheduled _early_ , to say the least, per Felicity's own request.

“When I said I wanted an early appointment, I didn't mean that I'd want to have to wake up at 5 Am to get ready! And then I had to drag you and Diggle out of bed too, which I still feel horrible for by the way. You really didn't have to come with me this time-”

“Felicity,” Oliver interrupted as he sat down behind his desk. He shot her a look and shook his head lightly. “Diggle and I didn't mind waking up early.”

Felicity shrugged, pushing her glasses up on her nose, handing him a stack of papers to sign. “Still, you were out all night and Diggle has been watching A.J these last few nights because Carly keeps getting the night-shift. You need your rest you know,” she scolded.

“You know, you don't have to baby us,” Oliver pointed out. Felicity rolled her eyes as a reply and then motioned to the papers.

“Sign here, here and here,” she said, pointing at three particular lines. Oliver followed her order without question before taking a long look at her. She was looking quite pale and had dark rings underneath her eyes.

“Maybe you should lay down a bit?” Oliver suggested. “Rest.”

“I'm fine, Oliver,” she said, offering him yet another smile.

“You sure? The doctor said you might be feeling a bit tired,” he frowned. “It might be better for you to take the rest of the day off. I can handle things here by myself.”

“No offense, Oliver,” she laughed, “but I don't think you'd be able to find your stapler without me.”

“That's ridiculous,” he scoffed. “It's right...” he trailed off, looking at his desk, lifting a few papers. He looked up at Felicity, who moved a folder and picked up the stapler in triumph.

“It's okay, Oliver,” she smiled. “You might be good at shooting arrows, but working in an office isn't really your strong suit.” Handing him the stapler, she turned on her heel and started walking back to her own desk. “I'll be out here if you need me,” she called over her shoulder.

He popped his head up on his hand and watched her leave. She was very good at hiding the fact that she was exhausted, but he was even better at seeing right through her facade.

Despite the early scheduled appointment, Felicity had tried to be as alert as possible. Dr. Applebeam had been pleased to see that she was feeling okay. When she'd shared that she hadn't felt any pain for the last week and a half, he wondered how often she _had_ been hurting but hadn't said anything about it. Just like everything else in this entire situation, the though made his stomach flip, and not in a good way.

An hour passed and Felicity was still typing away on her computer and taking calls. Oliver was looking over a new contract and glancing up at her every once in a while to see what she was doing. It wasn't until yet another half hour that he noticed the change.

Her cheeks were slightly red and she was sitting a little more upright, almost as if she was trying to force herself to stay awake by stretching. He took this as his cue to check on her.

“Felicity? You doing okay?” he asked as he stepped toward her desk. She looked up at him from her desk and nodded while humming. “You sure? Because you look like you can't keep your eyes open,” he pointed out, earning a small groan from her.

“I'm sorry,” she sighed. “I just, I've tried my best to keep busy but... I really am tired.”

“That's nothing to apologize for, Felicity,” Oliver shook his head, standing behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders. He gave her a small squeeze and she leaned back her head and looked up at him, her eyes droopy. “Do you want me to call Diggle and ask him to drive you home?”

“No,” Felicity protested, shaking her head lightly.

“Do you want to lay down on the couch in my office?” he suggested next and she shrugged before nodding once. He lifted his hands from her shoulders to let her stand up and she followed him back to his office and laid down on the leather couch. He removed his suit jacket and covered her upper body with it before removing her glasses and putting them on the small table next to the couch.

“You'll wake me in twenty minutes, okay?” Felicity ordered, her eyes already closing. “If I sleep longer than that, I won't be able to pull myself together for another three hours because I've gotten too much sleep.”

“I got it,” Oliver nodded. “Twenty minutes.” He leaned down, but stopped himself as he realized that he had been about to press his lips to hers. When he heard her soft snore, he sighed deeply and shook his head at his own stupidity before pressing a light kiss to her forehead. He stepped away from her now unconscious form and sat behind his desk again.

He watched her for the twenty minutes she had allowed herself to rest, wondering how she would have reacted if he really had kissed her. Would she have been mad at him, or had the fatigue already taken over and pulled her into unconsciousness so that she wouldn't even have felt it? Would she have liked it...?

Gently, he brushed his fingers along her cheek. “Felicity,” he whispered, putting his hand on her shoulder next. “Wake up.”

“Mm...” she hummed, her nose scrunching in a way that warmed Oliver's heart.

“You told me twenty minutes,” Oliver reminded her. “It's been twenty-five and I'm afraid of what you might do to me if I let you sleep for another five.”

“I have a hard time believing that The Arrow would be afraid of a small, blonde, IT-girl,” she mumbled, not opening her eyes yet.

“You have a really scary loud-voice,” Oliver chuckled. “Trust me on that one.”

Her eyes opened and she smiled up at him slightly. “Thank you,” she said.

“For what?” he smiled back.

“For acknowledging that my loud-voice _is_ scary and for watching over me as I slept.”

She sat up on the couch, still keeping his jacket wrapped around her shoulders. He looked at her warily.

“Are you sure you don't want to go home?” he asked. “You really do look tired.”

“I'm absolutely positive that I don't want to go home, Oliver,” Felicity replied, almost making Oliver groan.

“Why do you have to be so stubborn?” he asked her, but she shook her head.

“It's not stubbornness, Oliver,” she told him. “It's just that, I'll be feeling tired _a lot_ after receiving the chemo and the radiation. Dr. Applebeam confirmed that today when I asked him about the fatigue I was feeling. I can't just go home whenever I feel that I'm tired, because then I would probably be at home all the time, and I don't want that,” she explained. “I have my job here at Queen Consolidated and I've got our night job too. I can't just leave it all behind because I'm falling asleep half the time.”

Oliver could hear the logic in what she was saying, but that didn't necessarily mean that he enjoyed watching Felicity struggle to stay awake when she so clearly needed rest. However, the power nap she had just taken seemed to have done it's job since she was looking more alert than she was before.

“How about this then,” Oliver began. “Whenever you feel tired, not matter what time of the day it is, you just walk right in here and lay down and I'll keep an eye on the clock for you?” he suggested.

“Sounds like a good plan,” she nodded. “And if the phone rings? What am I supposed to do if I'm asleep?”

“Let it ring,” Oliver shrugged. “If it's important, they'll call back.”

There was a long pause as she seemed to struggle to find some other hole in his plan. Of course, she pointed out that he wouldn't be able to wake her if he was in a meeting, but he reminded her that she actually did have a perfectly functional phone and that she knew how to work the alarm on it. He playfully suggested they record his voice so that it would actually be him waking her up, but she only laughed and smacked his arm lightly.

“Okay, you've got it all figured out,” she smiled. “And when we're down in the Foundry, in the middle of a mission, I'll try to stay alert.”

“That only means that you'll have to rest a couple of hours before you get there, which you'll be able to do if you don't stick around here and work overtime with me all the time,” he pointed out.

“You need me here,” she said.

“I do,” he nodded, “but I can handle it. As long as you're feeling okay, I'll be fine. I can even ask Diggle to keep me company. I mean, he hangs out in the coffee room most of the time anyway, since he's supposed to be my bodyguard as well.”

She laughed, shaking her head, “I totally just got the image of Diggle dressed as me, trying to do my job in my head,” she told him.

“That's an image I didn't need,” he chortled. He looked down and for the first time he noticed that he was crouching down in front of her as she sat on the couch, his hands wrapped around hers. Looking up to meet her eyes, he noticed that she'd been looking down as well and the proof was the small blush that began creeping its way up on her cheeks.

“Well,” she cleared her throat. “I think we have settled the issue of handling my tiredness,” she said, removing her hands from his grip. He stood up and she followed shortly after, wiping her hands against the skirt she was wearing. Oliver didn't know what to think of it. Had she too been overwhelmed by the realization that they had been holding hands once again without even noticing it?

“Just like we'll handle everything else,” he said, trying to steer clear of any thoughts that would lead him to thinking about his growing affections for his friend. “Together.”

She offered him another smile as she removed his jacket from her shoulders and helped him put it on again before brushing it lightly at his shoulders, trying to straighten it. He inhaled, feeling a hint of her perfume still lingering on the piece of clothing.

“Together,” she agreed, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

When he hugged her back, he wondered if the embrace was giving her just as much comfort as it was giving him, because for some reason, he felt like he had needed it more than she had, and that she had known it before he had figured it out himself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I just wanna put it out there that I wrote this chapter like three weeks ago and I was REALLY annoyed when Oliver and Sara had a similar moment in last weeks episode! Still, I didn't want to change the "together" part because as I said, I had written it long before and was quite happy with it... So yeah...  
> I hope you liked it though! Now I'm off to take some painkillers and then I'm going to bed! Class tomorrow!  
> Thank you for reading! Comments are always welcome, as are requests! ;)


	11. Cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of the Hair Trilogy. These three chapters will take place back-to-back, in approximately 48 hours.
> 
> Part 1: Oliver gets a phone call from Felicity, and it's all normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for being so late with this chapter, but I've had a lot going on! I still haven't been able to finish the next part, even though I have it all planned out! But hopefully, I'll be able to write more tomorrow, so I'll finish the trilogy during the weekend and you'll get the next chapter as planned! :) Please enjoy this one, and I hope it gives you as many feels as it gave me while I wrote it! ;)

“ **Crumbled Papers”**

**Chapter 11/?: Cut**

**Word count: 1,981**

* * *

  
  


Oliver slumped into the armchair in his living room, sighing deeply before closing his eyes. It had been a long day at the office and he felt like he could really use a night off from the Arrow-business. Diggle had offered to patrol tonight and since they weren't exactly working on any cases, Oliver had agreed to let him do so. Normally, he would have thought twice about it, but considering that he hadn't been sleeping _at all_ since he found out about Felicity's illness, he had given in to his tiredness without hesitation. He wouldn't be any good fighting criminals if he was barely able to keep himself awake and he most certainly wouldn't be of any use to Felicity if he fell asleep while she was on a general check-up.

It had been two days ago, when Felicity had been called in by Dr. Applebeam to take some blood samples and run some tests that he had felt himself be gently woken up by Diggle's hand on his shoulder. He had been confused at first, but jumped to his feet when he noticed that Felicity wasn't there. Diggle had had to explain to him that Felicity was off getting an x-ray and that she would be back in fifteen minutes before he could actually calm down.

“You're exhausted man,” Diggle had pointed out and Oliver had only brushed it off with a shrug then.

Now, two days later, he had fallen asleep during a board meeting, which had earned him a scolding from Isabel, who clearly still wasn't over their last encounter when he had told her he wasn't available. Felicity had looked at him worriedly and later asked him if he was okay, but he had only told her that he was a little tired. It bemused him slightly, the way she worried about him, when he was in fact the one that should be worrying about her- which he _was._ The fact that Felicity was still intent on thinking about others rather than only focusing on herself and fighting her disease only fueled the way he felt about her.

She truly was remarkable.

Every day Oliver tried hard to push away all the feelings he held for her that were anything but platonic friendship, but he couldn't deny that the woman had come to mean something _more_ to him than he had first intended to.

His phone interrupted his thoughts and he picked up without even thinking when he recognized the ring tone that Felicity had set for her own contact after she hijacked his phone one day.

“Felicity?” Oliver answered, only to hear erratic breaths on the other line. “Felicity!”

“ _Oliver... I..._ ” Felicity's voice was panicked and instantly, he rose from his seat.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “Are you home? Has something happened?” His questions seemed to blur together because of the speed he was speaking in.

“ _Please, just, come to my house. Please, I- I know Diggle is out patrolling and I- I need someone_ ,” she whispered.

“I'll be there in five minutes,” he said, already pulling on his jacket as he waited for her reply.

“ _Okay_ _._ ”

It was a silent reply, but at least it was there, which reassured him that she hadn't fainted or anything. She didn't comment on how the mansion was at least fifteen minutes away from her house and that it would be impossible for him to reach her in five minutes.

He got there in seven, breaking multiple traffic rules and knocked on her door frantically, calling out her name while he did. The lock turned and Felicity opened the door, looking at him with wide eyes and for a moment, they only stood there, watching each other.

While she had sounded upset over the phone, he couldn't see any sign of her crying, which calmed him a bit. She stood in the door, silently and he gave her another once over, noticing that she was wearing her pajamas, which meant that she had clearly been getting ready to go to bed.

“Can I come in?” he asked and she seemed to wake from her daze, nodding and stepping aside. “You sounded upset over the phone. Is everything okay?”

She blinked, “Everything is normal.” He watched her curiously. What a strange thing to say...

Felicity shook her head and locked the door before walking toward her living room. “I mean, I talked to Dr. Applebeam about this the other day and he said it was normal, which I already knew, but that doesn't mean it didn't absolutely _shock_ me when I noticed,” she ranted, pacing in front of him.

“Felicity, what's wrong?” he inquired, forcing her to stop by putting his hands on her shoulders. She stopped talking and stared at him with wide eyes before taking a step back from him. Oliver's stomach clenched. Why was she pushing him away now?

“As I said, it's normal,” she mumbled, before running her fingers through her hair. Oliver watched her quietly as she then proceeded to hold her hand out to him. Long strands of blonde hair were stuck between her fingers. He watched as she once again ran her other hand through her hair and then held it out, with the same result. “My hair,” she said, her voice shaky. “It's falling off.”

It was clear that she was trying to hold it together as the reality of her situation finally seemed to sink in. Oliver swallowed thickly before taking a step toward her. He took her hands in his and removed the hair from them before moving his hands to cup her cheeks, forcing her to look up at him. His breath almost caught in his throat when he realized just how close they were standing. She placed her hands over his and closed her eyes for a moment and he couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking.

“What do you want to do?”

His question was unanswered for a minute and he took the opportunity to gently touch the blonde tresses of hair that were framing her face. Despite the fact that she hadn't washed it today, it smelled wonderfully and was incredibly soft, just like he imagined it would be.

“Will you help me?” she asked, bringing him back from his deep thoughts.

“What?”

“Will you help me cut it off?” she repeated, her voice a mere whisper.

His fingers wrapped around a curl and he absentmindedly twirled it around his finger. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“It's falling off, Oliver,” she said, opening her eyes to look at him. “I think it'll only be worse to watch it happen slowly and it will be very inconvenient if it happens all the time around the office...”

He offered her a small smile, “If it's what you want, I'll do it.”

“Thank you,” she said, her lips curling up as well. “Besides, it'll grow back, right? When I'm better?” Her voice was filled with hope but at the same time held something else as well that Oliver couldn't quite put his finger on.

“It'll grow back,” he nodded, his thumbs stroking her cheeks gingerly.

“Then let's do this,” she nodded, determination evident in her tone. She took a step back from him and grabbed his hand, dragging him with her to the bathroom.

It was very... _Felicity_ , with pink towels and soaps and perfume bottles and small decorative ducks by the bathtub. She had prepared for what was about to happen, Oliver noticed, since she had already put a pair of scissors and an electronic shaver on the toilet seat.

“You'll have to cut it with the scissors first,” she explained, “and then you'll have to shave it off. Actually, let me cut it with the scissors, or do you think it'll be better if you just stand there for moral support while I do it all by myself? Maybe if we-”

“ _Felicity_ ,” he said calmly, putting his hand on her shoulder. She inhaled sharply and let out a deep breath while she stared at herself in the mirror. Slowly, she turned to look at him. “You can cut it with the scissors and then I'll help you with shaving the rest off.” It pained him to say it out loud, but he tried to get a hold of his own emotions, for her sake.

“Okay,” she said. “Will you hand me the scissors?” He reached for the tool and when he lifted it, it felt heavier than it was supposed to feel. He swallowed thickly and handed them to her. She took them and lifted a piece of her hair but she seemed to hesitate. Oliver took a chance and reached for her hand. Slowly, he made her let go of her hair and then replaced her hand with his, holding up the strand for her. Their eyes met through the mirror and she smiled at him.

The lock of hair fell down into the sink and Oliver exhaled, picking up another strand for her. She cut that one as well and let out a small laugh.

“I've always wondered what I would look like in short hair,” she breathed.

“Now you'll find out,” he said, holding up another piece of hair.

She let out another laugh, but this time, it was quickly followed by a tear trailing down her cheek. Oliver wiped it away with his thumb. “It'll grow back, Felicity,” he tried to soothe her.

“I know, I know,” she said, cutting yet another piece off. “It'll grow back,” she told herself. More tears sprang from her eyes and Oliver swallowed a lump that had formed in his own throat.

Soon enough, the long tresses were all cut off, leaving only a mop of blonde hair on top of her head. Felicity's shoulders were shaking from a mixture of laughter and crying. She dropped the scissors into the sink and turned around so quickly that Oliver barely had time to catch her. Burying her head in his chest, she clutched to his shirt as a sob racked her body. He held on to her just as tightly, if not more. Her hands wrapped around his waist as he pulled away and cupped her face, making her look into his eyes.

“It'll grow back,” he reassured her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She nodded and sniffed, telling him to cut the rest off.

Later, they sat down on her couch, a pint of mint chocolate ice-cream being passed between them as they wondered what Diggle's reaction would be when he saw her later. She told him she would wrap a pink scarf around her head, but that she would probably need to go shopping to find some nice colors so that she could match her dresses and also go wig-shopping. He told her they would take a day off from the office so they could do all of that together.

Felicity blushed lightly and then brushed her hand over her now bald head, pushing the glasses up on her nose. “It kind of feels better now,” she admitted, a small smile on her face. “Better than seeing it fall off slowly every day.”

“It looks good on you,” Oliver told her, putting his spoon in his mouth before reaching over. He ran his own hand over the newly revealed skin and smiled. “And you're right, it's better this way, at least for now.”

She leaned into his hand as it fell to her cheek, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone. He gave her yet another reassuring smile as he offered her the ice-cream, “And it will all grow back too, when you get better and it will be just as healthy as you'll be.”

“Thank you for being here, Oliver,” she smiled at him.

“I'll always be here for you, Felicity,” he told her. “Every step of the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like it, hate it? Comment and let me know! It gives me motivation to write! :)


	12. Scarves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver takes Felicity to the mall to buy scarves for her newly shaved head and run into someone unexpectedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of "The Hair Trilogy". These three chapters will take place back-to-back, in approximately 48 hours.
> 
> Woopie! It's Drabble Wednesday everyone! Time for yet another Crumbled Papers chapter! Too bad we won't get any new episode of Arrow tonight though, but honestly, I loved last weeks episode! I feel like the show is coming back after that small drop (not counting 2x14 and 2x16).
> 
> Anyway, I just wanted to say that this chapter is specially dedicated to NovemberVisionary a.k.a Dork84 on tumblr! You gave me the idea of scarf-shopping, which eventually lead to "The Hair Trilogy". So, thank you, and please enjoy this chapter.
> 
> P.S. I don't know any malls in Starling City, but since it's such a big city, I just kind of went around using names for stores and such. Remember, everything in this thing is purely fictional and I don't own anything!

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 12/?: Scarves**

**Word count: 4,106**

* * *

Oliver couldn't decide what had been funnier: Diggle's tone when he had asked him to pick him and Felicity up at Felicity's house or the look on his face when Felicity stepped out wearing an orange beanie.

When she told Diggle what Oliver had helped her do the previous night, Diggle had leaned forward and pressed a soft, comforting kiss to her forehead without saying another word on the matter. He had however asked why Oliver had spent the night at her house and the two of them had explained how they had eaten some ice-cream and then watched a movie before falling asleep on the couch.

It didn't go unnoticed by Oliver that she didn't tell their friend of how the two of them had woken up this morning. Last night had been the first time that Oliver had slept properly in quite some time and the only reason he had woken up had been due to the fact that Felicity had nuzzled her head further into his neck and had unknowingly tickled him with her nose. He had been laying on his back on the couch with Felicity on her back against his chest, her legs between his and his arms wrapped around her upper body, holding her close to him, in something that could only be called a half-sitting position. Her small hands had been holding his all night long and switched between having her head against his shoulder and burying her face in the crook of his neck.

He had let out a small chuckle when he had felt her nose against his pulse point, but regretted it instantly when Felicity's eyes had flown open and she realized their sleeping position. She hadn't jumped away from him as he had expected though. Instead, she leaned her head back against his shoulder and let out a small sigh.

"Good morning," he had whispered, before kissing the top of her now bare head, his thoughts instantly going to when he had helped her cut off her blonde tresses.

"Morning," she had smiled back, closing her eyes again.

"What are our plans for today?" he then asked her and she proceeded to lift herself from his shoulder and offered him a puzzled look. "Remember last night? We agreed to take a day off from work."

"You sure we can do that?" she asked. "Isabel was pretty mad at you for falling asleep on the last board meeting."

"Who cares about Isabel?"

Felicity had only smiled, "Well, I can't wait to see her face when she finds out that you took the day off to go scarf shopping with your Executive Assistant."

"Who also happens to be my  _good friend_ ," Oliver had added, squeezing her hand fondly.

So when Diggle picked them up, neither one of them shared how they had stayed in that half-sitting position for another fifteen minutes before deciding to get up. Felicity had tried to joke about the fact that she no longer needed to fix her hair, but the look Oliver had unknowingly sent her had stopped her from making any further jokes on her own behalf.

It wasn't that he didn't like that she tried to make to situation more humorous. In fact, he loved that she was able to half-convince him that she was indifferent to things like her hair falling off and her tiredness taking over sometimes. It only showed him how incredibly strong she was, emotionally. The only problem he had with it was that he never knew how to react. He wanted to laugh along with her, to try and show her that things would be okay, but at the same time it almost made him feel heartless since he knew that it was her way to try and cover up how sad she really was.

Last night when he had helped her cut her hair off, she had broken down completely, even though she had tried to stay strong. Prior to that, he hadn't ever really thought of the jokes she sometimes made, but now, he truly couldn't ignore the way it made his heart ache.

"So where to?" Diggle asked as he began driving, pulling Oliver from his thoughts.

"The mall?" Oliver suggested, looking at Felicity who was sitting next to him for confirmation.

"I think you need to be a bit more specific, Oliver," Diggle chuckled. "There are lots of malls here in Starling."

"The closest one," Felicity said. "The one next to  _Starling National Bank_."

"Got it," Diggle nodded. Oliver turned his gaze to Felicity, who was looking straight ahead. He looked down at the seat between them. Her hand was laying there, with the palm up, so without thinking twice about it, he reached for it. The small smile that appeared on her face made it evident that it had been an invitation for him to take it. His lips turned up at that and he turned his head the other way, to look out the window.

They stayed like that, the whole drive to the mall, holding hands without looking at each other. Feeling each others presence was enough for the both of them, and they didn't need to look at each other to make it any more intimate.

Oliver swallowed and blinked once as he thought of last night again. His throat seemed to close up, but after swallowing twice more and taking a small breath, he could once again feel the air fill his lungs properly.

"We're here," Diggle announced, parking the car right outside the entrance. "If you guys don't mind, I have an errand to run myself for Carly and A.J., so I can come pick you up in say," he checked his wrist-watch, "one and a half hour?"

Oliver gave him a pat on the shoulder and nodded. "That sounds great. We'll call if something comes up, okay?"

Diggle confirmed it with a small nod as Felicity reached over and pecked his cheek. "See you later, Dig," she beamed, stepping out of the car.

"Keep an eye on her, Oliver," Diggle warned. Oliver sent him an incredulous look, making the older man chuckle. "I am well aware that I don't have to tell you that, but I figured that it would be better if I did anyway. Can't hurt, can it?" he winked.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Oliver grinned back before following Felicity out of the car. Her orange beanie certainly stood out, especially considering that it was quite warm outside.

"Are you done having a bromantic moment with Diggle so we can get this over with?" Felicity asked him, a playful smile on her lips.

"Yeah, we're all done," Oliver confirmed, closing the door and drowning out Diggle's laughter. "Let's go," he said, taking her hand in his.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Felicity inquired. "Holding my hand in public, I mean," she clarified after he sent her a questioning glance. "I mean, you're  _Oliver Queen_ ," she let out a small laugh, "and for all we know, the paparazzi might have a field day with just seeing us together at the mall, not to mention if they saw us holding hands."

"Felicity," Oliver sighed with a small shake of his head. He took her hand more firmly and squeezed. "Last time I checked, it was perfectly fine for friends to hold hands."

"Yeah, unless of course they aren't usually seen together in their free time and one of said friends has a reputation for being quite the ladies man," she bluntly pointed out. Her eyes widened slightly. "No offense," she quickly added.

"None taken," he smiled. "Besides, I really don't care what others think and the paparazzi haven't been monitoring my every movement for some time now. I'm willing to take the risk if you are," he told her.

He was still holding her hand, but only lightly, so she could pull it away any time she wanted to. Instead of doing so, she tightened her grip on his slightly, giving him an accompanying smile.

"Let's go."

-§-

One thing that truly surprised Oliver, was that there were now shops for specific clothing items. He hadn't exactly been hanging around the mall since he returned from Lian Yu, no matter how many times Thea had asked him to come with her. Sure, he had gone with her once or twice, but usually, he just got all his clothes delivered home to him without having to go out to buy them himself, which meant that he hadn't exactly been to this particular mall yet.

"It just opened a month ago," Felicity explained. "It's kind of fancy, some of the stores, but this is the only mall in all of Starling that has a store specifically dedicated to scarves," she announced as they walked into the shop.

Oliver kept his face neutral, but the collections displayed certainly were impressive. He had never been into brands, but being a Queen meant that he had to know at least some of them to keep up public appearances at galas and such.  _Burberry_ ,  _Gucci_ and  _Alexander McQueen_  were just some of the names that appeared on the labels.

Oliver looked at Felicity who had walked over to a specific rack where the scarves that were on sale were hanging. He cleared his throat, "Felicity."

"Yes, Oliver?"

She didn't even turn to look at him as her fingers quickly worked through the rack, touching the material on some of the scarves while only checking the price-tag on some.

"Pick whatever you like, I'll pay for it," he told her.

"That's very kind of you, Oliver," she mumbled, still concentrating on the scarves, "but since I started working as your EA, I got quite a generous raise so I am perfectly capable of paying for my own scarves that are going to hide my bald little head."

"Felicity, if that's the case, why are you looking through the sale-scarves?" he inquired, honestly confused. He was well aware that he had given her a raise, because not only did she deserve it, but... Well, she deserved it., and quite frankly, that was reason enough.

"Just because I have more money to spend, doesn't mean I have to buy the most expensive scarf I can find. I always check what's on sale first before going through the other racks," she stated. "I mean, do you  _know_  how many of my dresses I actually bought on sale? I can almost bet it's, like, ninety percent of them and they're nice, aren't they?" she asked, turning around, holding a light blue scarf in her hands.

_Was that a rhetorical question?_

Oliver  _had_  noticed her change of wardrobe since she had gotten "promoted" to being his EA and he appreciated the way she nowadays showed off her legs more... Although, he sometimes wondered if he had unknowingly forced her to change her attire to fit in with the other assistants. They didn't exactly have a dress code at Queen Consolidated, but most of the women could get quite competitive sometimes. He knew that Felicity would never actually wear something she wasn't comfortable in, but at times it looked as if she missed wearing jeans and a simple jumper to work.

" _Ollie_?" a voice interrupted his thought process.

Oliver's whole body froze over. His eyes widened slightly as he looked at Felicity, who seemed unfazed as she turned to look in the direction that the voice had come from.

"Thea," Oliver managed to get out with a small breath. "What are you doing here?" he asked, embracing his younger sister lightly.

"Me? I always go shopping on Fridays, but you know that already," she informed him. "I don't remember seeing you last night after I got home," she said, her eyes now traveling to Felicity, who was looking at Oliver expectantly, still clutching the blue scarf in her hand. "And who's this?" Thea smiled softly.

Oliver's palms were sweating. What was he supposed to say? Felicity knew Thea, but Thea had never actually been formally introduced to Felicity, despite the fact that she had been his EA for some time now. That could of course be easily resolved, but Felicity didn't know that Oliver had confided in Thea about her disease, without of course saying who it was that was actually sick. Would Felicity be mad that Oliver had told Thea something so personal? She hadn't even told her mother and stepfather until a couple of days ago!

"Felicity," Felicity said, holding out a hand for Thea to shake. It seemed that Oliver had stayed quiet for too long and she had taken matters into her own hands. "I'm Oliver's Executive Assistant."

"And friend," Oliver added, finally managing to form words in his brain.

"Oh, are you Felicity Smoak?" Thea asked. Felicity nodded in confirmation. "Walter has mentioned you once or twice at home. He always speaks highly of your computer skills."

Felicity blushed lightly. "Wow," she said. "I never would have thought that Thea Queen would actually remember my name. Not that you're by any chance ignorant!" she yelped. "Or stuck up! That wasn't what I was implying at all! I mean,  _I_ don't even remember half the names of the people who some people mention to me, because there's just so many... _people?_ " Felicity frowned. "I'm sorry, I totally lost my focus there."

Oliver chuckled and a small smile grew on Thea's face as well.

"You're also the girl that visited Walter at the hospital after they saved him from his kidnappers," Thea remembered. "I can recall thinking that you were cute."

Once again, Felicity blushed, but this time, she only replied with a small "thank you."

"But what are the two of you doing here?" Thea asked, looking around the shop. " _Together_." she added, glancing down at their hands. Oliver hadn't even noticed when he had taken a step closer to Felicity and taken her hand in his. It had been felt like the most natural thing to do.

How should he respond to that?

He looked down at Felicity, who looked up at him, before smiling and turning to his younger sister. "I mentioned to Oliver that I needed to go to the mall to buy myself some scarves," she said, "and Oliver offered to accompany me. The scarves I have at home aren't exactly comfortable to wrap around my head, and some are so small that they fit more like bandanas. Besides, I've never actually been a scarf-person, so there is a lack of scarves in my closet."

Oliver watched as Thea processed what Felicity had told her. Her eyes traveled to Felicity's orange beanie and then sideways to meet Oliver's eyes. The small nod that she made, was barely visible, but it was there. His sister had connected the dots; she knew Felicity was the friend he had been talking about that night that she had walked in on him researching stomach cancer.

When Thea opened her mouth to speak, Oliver never expected the words that came out of it. "I don't think you should go with that shade of blue," Thea said, pointing at the scarf Felicity held in her hands.

Felicity looked down, her eyebrows slightly furrowed. "Really? I thought it would go well with my eyes," she said, holding it up beside her cheek. "See?"

"Your eyes are just half a shade lighter, so if you really want to make them  _pop,_ you should go with the same color," Thea said, reaching for a slightly lighter blue scarf. "What colors do you usually wear?"

"The kind that stand out," Felicity proudly announced, grinning at Thea. Oliver watched as his younger sister smiled back, nodding once.

"In that case, I just saw some really nice pink and orange ones over here," she instructed. "Do you mind if I give you some advice?"

"No, not at all," Felicity said. "As I mentioned, scarves have never really been my forte."

Oliver curiously watched as his sister and his friend walked side by side away from him, toward the more colorful part of the store. Pride filled his chest as he thought of how well Thea had reacted. She had changed a lot since he had come back from the Island, that was one thing he was sure of and he wasn't only thinking of the five years he spent on the hellish island. No, he also meant the five months that he had been away, after The Undertaking.

Thea hadn't only taken charge or Verdant, but also of her own life and she was growing into a young woman that Oliver was impressed by. Not only was she confident, but she was also nice and she had shown that she had matured over no more than a year, which was more than he could say for himself. It had after all taken him five years, shipwrecked on an island to get his shit together.

"Hey, Oliver!" Felicity called, waving him over. "What do you think of this one?" she asked, holding up a pink scarf with purple splotches on them.

"It looks...different," Oliver cringed. He couldn't even imagine Felicity putting that around her shoulders, nevertheless around her head.

"See, I told you his fashion sense has improved!" Felicity beamed at Thea, putting the scarf back in it's original place.

"Okay, okay, I give," Thea giggled. "So, the blue one, the pink one that matches your lipstick and this velvet one it is," she counted.

"Yeah," Felicity nodded. "I think three should do fine for now, and they're really soft too, so I'm only guessing they'll be comfortable."

"You could always try them on," Thea suggested.

Oliver once again froze, looking at Felicity, afraid that she would take offense to his sister's suggestion. He should have known better by now, because as always, Felicity only smiled.

"Yeah," she agreed, taking the pink scarf from Thea before removing her beanie, blushing lightly. "I'm sorry if it make you uncomfortable," she told the younger Queen. "I completely understand, since the two of us haven't really spent a lot of time together."

"It doesn't make me uncomfortable at all, Felicity," Thea assured her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Ollie's friends, are my friends. And yeah, I might not have spent more than twenty minutes with you, but you seem really nice and I would love it if you let me take you for coffee some time."

Felicity ran a hand over her hairless head, "Thank you,  _again_. And I would love to get some coffee with you sometime," she agreed.

"Oliver can give you my number," Thea began, but stopped herself. "Although I'm sure a tech-wiz like you could probably manage to get it yourself."

"Yeah, I probably could," Felicity agreed while tying the scarf around her head. "I was right, it really is comfortable," she informed.

"Then I'm guessing you've gotten what you came for," Oliver said, reaching for the scarves that Thea was holding. "Do you want to keep that one around your head? I'm sure the show owner won't mind."

Felicity and Thea looked at him. They seemed to have been so engulfed in their own conversation that they had forgotten that he was standing there with them.

"Oliver, I told you I'll pay for them myself," Felicity said, reaching for the scarves but he pulled them away from her.

"It's fine," he tried, but she gave him a warning look.

" _Oliver._ "

It was all he took. That tone combined with the stern look on her face caused him to sigh and hand her the scarves. Instantly, her mood changed and she beamed at him and Thea.

"I'll go pay for these and I'll meet you guys outside," she told them before strutting off. Oliver watched her go, a smile appearing on his face again.

"Oh, Ollie," Thea sighed next to him, making him turn in her direction. "I understand why you acted that way that night," she told him. "Felicity seems pretty special."

"She is," Oliver confirmed, once again looking at his friend, who was babbling away with the cashier. He looked back at Thea, who seemed to be watching him with a knowing look. "What?"

"Nothing," Thea quickly said. "I'm just mad that you never properly introduced me to her before. I feel like she and I could really be good friends."

"You'll have plenty of time to get to know each other," Oliver said, but he wondered whether he meant it, or was just trying to convince himself.

"She told me her diagnosis," Thea informed him. "She seemed to be very open about it, which of course makes me wonder why you reacted the way you did when you saw me."

"I'm not sure I'm following," Oliver frowned.

"Oh come on, Ollie," Thea rolled her eyes. "You were looking as if you wanted to grab her and run out of the store. I'm just wondering why?"

Oliver sighed. "I hadn't exactly told her that I talked to you about her and I didn't know how she would react," he admitted.

"I think I gathered that much," Thea nodded. "But see, nothing to worry about. I think I handled myself pretty well, don't you?"

"Yeah," Oliver grinned. "And I appreciate it a lot. Thank you."

"No need to thank me, my dear brother," Thea winked. "And now I'm off. I have a date with Roy before work. Hear from you later. Tell Felicity I said bye," she said, giving him a hug before walking off.

Oliver only waved at her and watched her leave. He looked up to find that Felicity was done and was heading out of the store. She must not have seen him standing there, or else she probably would have come up to him. As he walked toward the door, something caught his eye.

A small smile formed on his face and he walked back deeper into the store.

-§-

"You should have seen the colors, Dig," Felicity beamed. "I know I'm good at combining clothes, but I swear, if Thea hadn't been there, I would have been so lost because I got a complete blackout after seeing so many shades of pink in one place."

"Sounds like you had fun," Diggle laughed. "I'm glad."

"Yeah, except Oliver seemed totally weirded out when Thea walked in," Felicity said, turning to look at him. "Why was that Oliver?"

Oliver cleared his throat. "I may or may not have told Thea that one of my closest friends is sick. I didn't however tell her which one and I hope you're not mad at me," he said, searching her face for any indication of anger.

"Why would I be mad, Oliver?" Felicity asked. "I'm glad you opened up to someone because I know me having cancer isn't easy for you either. The same thing goes for you," Felicity added, pointedly looking at Diggle. "I know it's not easy to talk to me about something that concerns me, so I completely understand. No hard feelings, promise," she smiled. "Besides, I really like Thea. She's nice."

Oliver's heart warmed at her words. "Speaking of nice," he said, reaching into his jacket, "I couldn't help myself." He took out a small bag that had the scarf-stores name written on it.

"Oliver!" Felicity protested as she took out a black scarf with silver lines. "You shouldn't have! I told you not to-"

"It's a gift," he told her. "I figured everyone needs a standard black, no matter if you wear it or not, but that's not all," he motioned to the bag and she looked inside again. She reached for the other scarf he had bought her and let out a laugh.

"Let me see," Diggle said, looking at them in the rear-view mirror. Felicity held up the scarf and Diggle chuckled. "You have got to be kidding me, Oliver," he grinned.

Felicity removed the pink scarf that was wrapped around her head and replaced it with the dark green one. It was the exact shade that he wore when he dressed up as the Arrow at night and the smile that adorned Felicity's face, was all he needed to see to know that he had succeeded with choosing the wight color.

"I'll wear this down in the Foundry every time we have a mission," she grinned, leaning over to him. His breath caught in his throat as she lightly pressed her lips against his cheek. "Thank you, Oliver," she whispered in his ear.

He looked down to find that their fingers were once again intertwined before looking up to meet her gaze, mirroring her smile.

"I'm just glad you liked it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Hope you liked it! Next week, you'll get the final part of "The Hair Trilogy", so comment, comment, comment away and let me know what you think! :D


	13. Wigs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity goes to pick out a wig and Oliver goes with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final part of "The Hair Trilogy". These three parts all took place back-to-back, within approximately 48 hours.
> 
> Hey guys! I'm back with yet another chapter! I took some time and replied to all your comments! Anyway, I'm happy that you liked the last chapter so much!
> 
> Please enjoy the final part of The Hair Trilogy! ;)

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 13/?: Wigs**

**Word Count: 3,333**

* * *

Felicity didn't remove her hand from Oliver's the whole ride to the hospital. She had asked Diggle to drive them there, since Dr. Applebeam had been so kind to recommend the hospital's own wig-center. The hospital itself offered all cancer patients easy access to wigs that were not only of high quality, but also at a cheaper price than those that could be found all around Starling.

Felicity thought it was just cheap marketing, but didn't exactly protest. She knew she didn't want to go around displaying her disease around the office, which meant that she needed to find a wig that didn't look fake and also fit the color she had had before shaving her hair off.

Unless of course she decided to change it up a bit and try out some other color.

"There it is," Felicity said, looking at the hospital that they were getting closer to. She had never actually entered the building on this side, which didn't exactly ease her nerves. A small squeeze on her hand from Oliver, however, did the job.

Diggle drove them to the entrance. "I'll see if I can park the car somewhere and then I'll come join you guys," he told them. Felicity smiled lightly at her friend.

"Okay, we'll text you the directions," she said. "In case you get lost."

"I don't think there's a risk of that happening," Diggle laughed.

"You never know, Dig. The hospital is pretty big," Oliver retorted. "We'll see you later."

Felicity and Oliver made their way inside  _Starling General_ , following the directions to the wig-center that Dr. Applebeam had given them. It certainly wasn't the easiest place to find. They had to change direction three times before Felicity just took Oliver's phone from his hand and nearly smacked him for reading them wrong from the beginning.

"Really, Oliver," she muttered. "For someone who spent five years on an island, you should know how to follow a map. That is of course if you had a map, which I'm sure you had at some point considering you weren't exactly alone on the island."

"Yeah, but that map was of an  _island_ , Felicity," Oliver pointed out. "It wasn't exactly like I could get lost in hallways that all look the same."

"Still," Felicity smiled as she led the way.

They reached the center- which honestly looked more like a store inside a hospital- five minutes later. It wasn't the biggest shop, but it wasn't necessarily small either. There were boxes everywhere, along with posters of different hair styles. They seemed to be the only ones in the shop and Felicity turned to Oliver, who was looking just as confused as she was.

"There's a desk there," Oliver said. "Maybe there's a bell we can ring."

Just as they walked toward the desk, a woman walked out from the back room. From her appearance, Felicity concluded she must be in her mid-forties. She was wearing a simple v-neck, a cardigan and some dark, wide jeans. Her hair was short and it fit her quite nicely, if Felicity was to be honest.

"Hi," Felicity waved as the woman looked at them.

"Miss Smoak, I assume?" the woman said, to which Felicity nodded. "I'm Rosie. Dr. Applebeam is an old friend of mine. He told me you'd be stopping by soon." Rosie glanced at Oliver. "Mr. Queen," she acknowledged. "I recall that the doctor mentioned something about you never leaving Ms. Smoak's side. I can see why," she smiled lightly. Felicity felt her face heat up. Was this something people at the hospital did? Talk to each other about what billionaires accompany their friends to the hospital when they are sick?

"It's nice to meet you," Oliver said, shaking Rosie's hand. Felicity followed his example and shook the older woman's hand, trying to look like her comment hadn't effected her at all.

"I'm guessing you're here for a wig-fitting?" Rosie asked, looking between the two of them.

"Yes," Felicity nodded. "I, uh... Don't want people asking questions at work," she tried to explain. "And I just shaved off my hair last night so it's kind of recent, but I figured why wait, right?"

"Of course," Rosie smiled. "Right this way then, Ms. Smoak-"

"Felicity."

" _Felicity,_ " Rosie corrected herself. "We'll see if we can find you something you like."

They followed Rosie through a door and into a hallway. She led them to a private room which looked like a dressing room straight out of  _America's Next Top Model,_  except for the fact that there were more wigs there than make up.

"Take a seat, Felicity," Rosie instructed. Felicity walked over to the chair and sat down. On the wall in front of her was a huge mirror and she watched as Oliver leaned back against the wall. "Would you like me to get you a chair, Mr. Queen?" Rosie asked.

"I'm fine," Oliver smiled politely. "We're actually waiting for a friend of ours, so I might have to go get him if he has any trouble following the directions."

"It is a pain to find, isn't it?" Rosie mused. "A lot of the patients that are sent here by the hospital staff are late for their appointments, mostly because they mix up the floors. It's actually quite amusing from time to time to listen to their stories," she said, opening a cabinet and taking out a few boxes. "Felicity, did you have long hair before you shaved it off?"

"Yes, I did," Felicity replied.

"Hair color?"

"Blonde, but she dyed it," Oliver supplied this time.

Felicity spun around in the chair and shot him a glare. "Oliver!"

He shrugged. "I'm sorry, but it's not as if she knows us anyway," he told her. "And she won't tell anyone. Will you, Rosie?"

Felicity turned to look at the woman, who was watching them bemusedly. "Your secret's safe with me," she winked. "Besides, 80 percent of Starling's population has dyed hair, if it makes you feel any better."

Felicity's eyes moved to Rosie's dark brown hair. "Yeah, I know. It's just that... I  _am_ a blonde, it's just slightly darker than what I used to dye it to," she explained. "So I don't particularly like when people know that my light blonde isn't my natural color, because I actually manage to make it look natural... Am I making any sense?"

"You're making perfect sense, Sweetheart," Rosie smiled, taking five boxes with her to the table next to Felicity's chair. Felicity swung back around to face the mirror. "So you want blonde hair then, I take it? Or do you want to try something else? A lot of our other customers prefer trying different colors, if only for amusement's sake."

"I wouldn't mind trying something new," Felicity piped up. "But I'll probably want something similar to my own color anyway, because, well, I work at Queen Consolidated and there are some people there that would probably want to put me on a billboard if I change my appearance too much."

When she glanced back at Oliver, she could tell he was trying hard to hide his amusement. Well, he knew it was true.

"How long exactly was your hair, if you don't mind me asking?" Rosie inquired.

"It had grown quite a bit since last time I cut it," Felicity replied. "Maybe to my mid-back, depending on how I styled it?"

"Would you want a wig of the same length or something shorter? Longer, maybe?"

"A little shorter would do fine," Felicity said, glancing at Oliver through the mirror.

"We have both synthetic hair and real hair that has been donated to make wigs for cancer patients," Rosie explained. "Have you thought of a what you prefer or would you like to see the difference?"

"Actually, I wouldn't mind trying the synthetic ones first," Felicity said, almost shuddering. "The thought of wearing someone else's hair kind of wigs me out a bit... No pun intended!" she added quickly, seeing the older woman smile.

A low chuckle from behind her told her that Oliver had found her slip-up amusing as well, so she shot him a look through her reflection and stuck out her tongue at him, which only seemed to amuse him even more.

"No worries," Rosie said. "It's always nice to hear that being ill hasn't made someone give up on things that brighten our day, such as puns and accidental jokes."

"Yeah, well, my brain-to-mouth filter has never really worked properly, so I'm warning you now, I might have more slip-ups coming," Felicity muttered.

"Would you like to start with blonde shades or some other colors?" Rosie asked.

"Other colors. I've always wondered what I would look like as a brunette," Felicity grinned.

So they started out slow, first going with a chocolate brown that made Felicity's blue eyes pop out and then going on to an auburn shade. She tried different lengths on and if she were to be honest, the synthetic hair didn't exactly feel that fake. When she pointed it out, Rosie told her that it was made from a special kind of material that scientists had created, just because they didn't think people wanted their fake hair to look, well,  _fake_.

Rosie opened different boxes and Felicity's eyes widened as she reached for a certain wig. It was a shoulder-length  _lime green_  wig, that she was sure had originally belonged to a costume-shop down the corner.

"You'd be surprised by how many that actually buy that color," Rosie told her and Felicity looked over at Oliver, who rewarded her with a small chuckle. Felicity was glad that she had gotten him to relax a bit and she grinned back, silently wondering whether he too was thinking if they had a color closer to the Arrow's.

Rosie helped Felicity put on wig after wig and when they finally moved on to the blonde ones, Felicity remarked that she at least didn't have to color her hair anymore.

"You know," Felicity started as Rosie pulled out a dirty blonde wig, "this is actually my natural hair color."

"Really?" Oliver speaks up from behind her, stepping forward to get a closer look. She watches him as he curiously observes the wig that Rosie helps he pull on. It's about the same length as her real hair was before she cut it off and Felicity can't help but start feeling a bit nostalgic to her younger years at MIT when she had kept her natural hair color.

"It looks good on you," Oliver points out. "Why do you dye it?"

Felicity looks at herself in the mirror and tilts her head slightly to the side. The wig has bangs too, which kind of makes her smile. "I guess I just never really liked this color. I always wanted to be a lighter blonde, so first chance I got, I dyed it and then I just kept it that way," she explained.

"Well, as Mr. Queen so nicely said, it suits you," Rosie supplied. "Would you like to try the other one again before deciding? You can have as much time as you want, of course. I don't have any other appointments scheduled and anyone that drops in will simply have to wait a bit."

Felicity touched the fake hair and looked at the other wig that Rosie was holding up; the one that had the same color that she'd had before.

"Where is Diggle when you need him?" Felicity muttered. "We should totally take a vote."

Oliver raised an eyebrow at her. "Don't you think it's your choice to make?" he asked. "Besides, Diggle hasn't texted me yet, which doesn't make much sense since we've been here for like an hour now..." he trailed off, looking at his phone.

"Well, while you two talk this through, I'm afraid I need to go and make a phone-call," Rosie interrupted. "I'll be back in five minutes or so."

She walked out of the room and Felicity looked at herself once more before removing the wig. She picked up the other one too and spun around in the chair so that she could see Oliver face-to-face.

"So," she began, "what do you think?"

It surprised her how Oliver's eyes seemed to fill with various emotions. His jaw went slack and his gaze seemed to fix on her. Remaining silent, his eyes flickered from her face to her hands where she held up the wigs and then back to her face. He seemed to be having an inner struggle, which was something Felicity couldn't quite understand at the moment.

When he finally opened his mouth and spoke, Felicity could never have expected the words that he said.

"You're beautiful."

The way that he never broke eye-contact with her as he spoke, and the way he had genuinely smiled when he had said it, made Felicity's heart race. He hadn't replied to her question, not really, but she had gotten an answer that had been worth so much more to her than she ever would have expected.

Felicity knew that her feelings for Oliver ran a bit deeper than simple friendship. However, for the sake of their team and said friendship, she had long ago decided that her feelings weren't worth acting upon. When she'd learned of her illness, that determination had only grown.

She knew that Oliver found her attractive at times; she wasn't stupid. Although, she had a feeling that he too felt that the risk was too big and that they couldn't risk what they already had. Hearing him tell her that she was beautiful though, only warmed her, for some reason. He had told her that she was beautiful, now, even though she sat in front of him with no hair whatsoever on her head and sickly pale skin.

Her heart kept pounding and she knew that if she didn't break eye-contact with him, she might either explode or run to him and attack his mouth with hers. No, she needed to control herself. She needed to say something.

"Thank you."

The words left her mouth before she thought it through and she sounded a bit dismissive as she'd said it, without actually meaning to. They had already grown closer since she'd gotten sick and she couldn't risk anything else happening between them when she wasn't even sure she was going to survive. It wasn't fair.

She swallowed thickly as she met his gaze again. He still seemed to have stars in his eyes as he watched her, almost in awe. "I mean it," he told her. "I don't think I ever told you before, but you really are beautiful."

"And I meant it when I said 'thank you,'" Felicity replied, feeling as if they were heading toward a conversation she wasn't ready to have yet. Oliver seemed to understand and slowly, she could see all the walls she had been working on to break down build up again.

She regretted her tone instantly, so she kept her eyes trained on him as she watched him tense for a moment. Once again, his words sunk in.

 _You're beautiful_.

Her face felt a little warmer and she knew she was blushing, so she did the only thing she could do: she smiled at him. Almost immediately, he seemed to relax again and he offered her a small smile back. She had been worried that she had ruined everything, but fortunately, that didn't seem to be the case.

"I believe your friend is outside in the shop, waiting for you," Rosie said as she walked back into the room. "He asked about you, Felicity, but then told me to tell you guys that he'd be waiting for you in the shop since I told him that you were done soon anyway."

"Why didn't he text" Felicity wondered out loud, looking at Oliver. Their previous moment seemed lost now and she could slowly feel her heart recovering.

"Oh, I should have told you that the reception in here isn't the best," Rosie sheepishly said. "I apologize for any inconvenience."

"It's fine," Oliver dismissively said. "I don't think Diggle will mind."

Rosie offered him a small smile before turning to Felicity. "Have you decided on which one you'd like yet, Felicity?"

Felicity looked at the two wigs that she was still holding up. "I think I'll take the lighter one, because I'm used to that color now," she replied.

"Good choice, it suits you wonderfully," Rosie commented. "If you ever feel like you want another one to change things up a bit, I'll keep the green one hidden in the back for you," she winked.

Felicity couldn't help but laugh as she stood up from her chair. She almost didn't notice how Oliver immediately moved closer to her;  _almost_.

They walked back out in the shop and Felicity spotted Diggle sitting in a chair, reading what looked like a wig-magazine.

"Dig!" she waved and he raised his head before waving back at her.

"Why don't you go to Diggle, and I'll pay for the wig," Oliver suggested. Felicity opened her mouth to protest but he stopped her before she could. "You can pay me back later."

She watched him for a good moment before finally giving in. "But don't you dare refuse my money when I give it to you," she said, poking him in the chest once.

He looked down at her amused and for the first time, Felicity noticed how close they were standing. She swallowed before turning back to Diggle. "We'll wait for you outside," she told Oliver before walking away, feeling as if she could finally take a breath again. Sometimes she forgot how tall he was.

"Hey, how did it go?" Diggle asked, kissing her cheek lightly.

"Good, I found one that looks almost exactly like my old hair," she told him. "Which is good."

Diggle smiled at her and glanced sideways at Oliver who was paying for the wig. Felicity watched as Rosie smiled at Oliver before waving politely at Felicity and Diggle.

"Here you go," Oliver said, offering Felicity the bag with the box. "I bought you some extra products for when you need to wash it and Rosie gave me instructions too. It's all in there," he said, pointing at the bag.

She looked inside and indeed, there were a couple of bottles and a special-made comb in there. The comb was pink and Felicity couldn't help but smile.

"That's very considerate of you," she said. "Thank you, Oliver. I never would have remembered to buy that myself," she told him and leaned up. She pressed a light kiss to his cheek and then pulled away. There was a hint of pink lipstick left, so she grinned as she gently rubbed it away.

She turned back to look at Diggle, who was watching them intently. "Should we get a move on? Maybe drop by at the Foundry if you don't plan on going to Queen Consolidated?" he asked.

"How about we go to my house?" Felicity suggested. "We could order take-out and watch a movie or something? Unless of course we need to go to the Foundry. If that's the case, then I don't mind going there either." She looked at Oliver expectantly. The right corner of his lips was twitching, which meant that he was trying not to smile.

In the end, he did anyway. "Take-out and a movie sounds good," he told her. "You in Dig?"

"Only if I can pick the movie," Diggle replied. Felicity grinned at the both of them as she linked her arms with theirs, standing between them.

"You guys are the best friends a girl could ask for," she told them as they walked out of the hospital together.

Oliver's words once again ran through her mind, and when he turned to look at her in the car and gently took her hand in his again, Felicity realized, that for the first time in quite some time, she truly felt beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay or nay? What did you think? Tell me in a comment!
> 
> And yeah, I wasn't kidding with the word count. The chapter was exactly 3,333 words long... So that's cool. ;)
> 
> Once again, thank you to all of those who have commented and given the story (and me) kudos and continuously showed their support. It means a lot. :)


	14. The Problem With Ms. Rochev

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isabel Rochev has been a thorn in Felicity's side and Felicity finally decides to speak up for herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Wednesday! And this week, we get another lovely episode of Arrow! :D Last weeks episode might have been a little low on Olicity, but generally, I liked it! [SPOILER] I mean, the cartwheel over the ledge that Oliver made while holding onto Felicity... *fans herself*.
> 
> Anyway, here's another chapter of Crumbled Papers for you guys!
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! ;)

" **Crumbled papers"**

**Chapter 14: The Problem With Ms. Rochev**

**Word count: 2,480**

* * *

It was simple, really.

Felicity  _hated_  Isabel Rochev.

Yeah, some might think 'hate' is a strong word to use, but Felicity honestly, positively, completely and undoubtedly  _despised_  the woman.

A week had passed since Felicity had gotten her wig and gone back to work, pretending that there wasn't a risk that every second that passed could be her last. Sure, statistically, she couldn't exactly say that  _Stage Three Stomach Cancer_  patients dropped dead like flies suddenly, and generally, it was more of a long-term disease which took its victims out slowly and painfully. So no, it wasn't like she would just fall over and stop breathing at this stage. If it had gotten to that part, she would probably have been hospitalized a long time ago, but that wasn't the point.

Felicity was fine with pretending to be fine. She was used to lying about Oliver's whereabouts and undermining her friendship with him to 'just co-workers'. Not only that, but she had also become an expert at pretending that she only knew Diggle through him being Oliver's loyal driver. The pretense wasn't really the problem.

No. The problem was Ms. Rochev and more importantly her determination to be a complete nuisance in Felicity's life.

Felicity was used to the gossip surrounding her and Oliver's relationship, which meant that it hadn't bothered her when Isabel had practically cornered her in the elevator and made dirty little remarks about it. She hadn't even flinched when she'd heard that Isabel's assistant Mark had filled her old friend Steve from the IT-department in on her supposed 'extracurricular activities' or when Isabel had insisted that Felicity do some 'real work' around the company and fill in some reports.

She could handle it all pretty well and Steve hadn't believed the rumors anyway, or at least that was what he told her, but she chose to believe him. Every night, for a very long week, Isabel continuously dropped off two or three rapports for 'Oliver' to read through and early every morning, Felicity read through them and marked any mistakes or things that could be improved before handing them to Oliver for signing.

Oliver had offered to talk to Isabel last Friday after Felicity had basically stormed into his office and laid down on his couch. She knew he could tell that she was tired, but simply told him that she could take care of it and that she would tell Isabel herself if it came to be too much. Of course, he had hesitated, but Felicity had only told him to wake her up after twenty minutes, before falling asleep.

So, she endured it, at least for a couple of days more. Whenever she thought that Isabel finally got tired of pestering her, she was proven wrong, because the woman  _always_  managed to find something degrading for her to do. Since Felicity didn't want any drama or gossip around the office- or at least more than there was now- she silently accepted whatever Isabel threw her way.

The change came on a Wednesday, around lunch time.

Felicity, Diggle and Oliver had spent the entire morning in the hospital since Felicity had had yet another early-morning treatment scheduled. This particular one had been especially tough on Felicity, but having Oliver and Diggle there to cheer her up gave her enough energy to want to keep going. She insisted they go to the office, despite the fact that she was feeling a little sick.

"Are you sure you don't want us to get you something to eat?" Oliver asked, sounding concerned.

Felicity shook her head, "No, I'm good, really. Thanks though." They continued walking through the main entrance, stepping into the elevator as they headed for the top floor. "I feel like I might need to rest a little though, when we to our floor."

"My couch is free," Oliver nodded, putting his hand on her shoulder, "you know that."

"Yeah," she smiled, "I know."

"Dr. Applebeam seemed awfully cheery today, don't you think?" Diggle pointed out.

"He was probably just thrilled to not be the only bald person in the room," Felicity remarked, earning a chuckle from Oliver and Diggle. "I mean, does he really think that toupée is fooling anyone? I mean, my wig looks more natural than that thing, and this is made out of synthetic material."

Oliver and Diggle laughed out loud at that, and Felicity smiled to herself. It was nice when they let their guard down around her. She knew her illness was affecting them too and that it was difficult to always stay positive, especially when they had spent a couple of hours watching her hooked up to I.V:s that were filling her body with toxins.

They were walking through the break room, when they heard her; Isabel Rochev.

"Once again he's not in his office and neither is his  _secretary_. I swear, if he doesn't learn to keep it in his pants, this company won't last through the year," she told her assistant, Mark, rather exasperatedly. Mark's eyes flickered over to Felicity, Oliver and Diggle who had stopped dead in their tracks, and slowly he raised his finger to point at them. He wasn't exactly subtle, but Isabel turned quickly, her dark hair flaying around her. She looked... _calm._

"Oh, back from your little  _rendezvous_  already?" she sneered, glaring at Oliver and Felicity. "I hope you both know that I don't particularly care what you do in your spare time, but when you leave your job for several hours without notice, I might have to fill in the rest of the board about your little secret. By the way, I don't think they'll be happy to learn about the CEO's relationship with his assistant."

Felicity looked around the break room. The people that were eating their lunch had stopped chewing to listen in on their conversation.

"Isabel," Oliver said, taking a step forward. His hand, that had been on Felicity's lower back, fell and Felicity, who hadn't even noticed it was there, nearly shuddered at the loss of heat. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he told her.

"Are you sure? Last time I checked, Ms. Smoak didn't have a degree in the secretarial arts. What other qualifications can she possibly have to have earned the position she has, which conveniently allows her to work  _closely_ with the CEO of the company?"

Oliver took another step forward, but this time Felicity stopped him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Oliver, stop," she told him, pulling him back. "I can handle this."

Oliver met her eyes briefly before giving her a small, barely noticeable nod. She offered him a small smile, silently thanking him for trusting her to take care of the obvious issue.

"See?" Isabel smirked. "I'm not very comfortable with the control you seem to have over the man that is supposed to run this company. I think the board members will be agreeing with me on that one."

The smug look on the woman's face only made anger boil in Felicity. She was sick and tired, not only because of the medication now. Isabel's behavior was,  _literally_ , sickening.

"How the hell can you live with yourself?" Felicity frowned. A clatter was heard from somewhere behind them. Felicity assumed someone had dropped their fork after hearing her outburst. She supposed she could have said it a little quieter, but she wanted everyone to hear what she had to say, so that all the stupid rumors that were going around could stop. The entire room got awfully quiet as Isabel crossed her arms.

" _Excuse_  me?" she said, sounding annoyed.

"I asked you how you can live with yourself," Felicity repeated. "How can you live with being such an awful, absolutely  _horrible_ person? I mean, seriously? What do you do every morning? Drink sour milk so that you won't accidentally smile at someone? Do you keep count of how many people you can hurt in a day? Is is some kind of personal record you're trying to beat?"

She was rambling, she knew it, but her questions earned her a chuckle from someone behind her. She was almost one hundred percent sure that it was Diggle. In front of her, Isabel's assistant seemed to be trying to contain his laughter too, but immediately dropped his grin when Isabel turned to glare at him. She then turned back to Felicity and took a step forward.

"How  _dare_  you speak to me in that way? Do you know that I am the co-owner of Queen Consolidated?" she said, her eyes narrowed and her tone dangerously low.

"You should be ashamed of yourself for making false accusations," Felicity told her, not backing down. Instead she took a step forward too, invading Isabel's personal space. "Do you want to know what Oliver was really doing today and every other day that he's been late in the morning?" she asked.

"Spare me the details of your dalliance," Isabel snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Oliver is my  _friend_ ," Felicity said, pressing her lips together. "And he's been being my friend by accompanying me to my scheduled treatment sessions."

She lifted her hand to her wig and pulled it off, revealing her hairless head. A couple of gasps were heard, and Felicity closed her eyes for a moment, trying to compose herself. She looked up at Isabel, who had taken a small, barely noticeable step back. Her eyes had widened slightly and Felicity felt nearly triumphant, but she wasn't finished yet.

"Oliver has been by my side as my friend since I first learned that I was sick," she said, glancing at Oliver, who straightened his back and gave her a small smile. "He's been supportive and  _kind_  to me and he's still managed to fulfill his duties as CEO at Queen Consolidated. Last time I checked, it wasn't a crime to not only do your work, but also support a friend through something that can very well end their life," Felicity swallowed. " _You_  should be ashamed of yourself, _Ms. Rochev_ ," she pointedly added. She didn't waver as she looked the other woman in the eyes. "You're not only accusing a good person for being neglectful of his duties, but also being awful and judgemental to a woman who is terminally ill."

Isabel took another step back. This time, everyone seemed to notice.

"So, go ahead," Felicity shrugged. "Tell the board whatever you want to tell them and let them investigate further into Oliver's relationship with me. I'll make sure to e-mail Mark my doctor's number so that you can personally call him and check if Oliver really has been with me to every single appointment I've had so far. I'm sure the board members will be  _horrified_  to know that a man who values his friends and sticks with them through thick and thin is leading the company," she sarcastically finished. "As for  _you,_ " Felicity's lips curled up in a small smile, "you've just lost the small amount of respect I had for you. Next time you're planning on accusing me of  _anything_ , make sure to get your facts straight, or else I might have to report you to the HR-department for workplace harassment and making the time I have left of my life a pain by assigning me work that your own assistant is supposed to do."

Never in her life, had Felicity been as proud of herself as she was in that moment. Her face softened slightly and she politely smiled at Isabel, who was blushing furiously. "You have a good day, Ms. Rochev," she finished with a nod and turned on her heel, walking out of the break room, quickly followed by Diggle and Oliver.

They walked into Oliver's office and with a sigh, Felicity collapsed on the couch.

"That felt amazing," she admitted with a grin.

"It was even more amazing to witness it," Oliver smiled at her.

"You sure put her in her place," Diggle nodded as Felicity put her wig back on. "But you are aware of the fact that you totally just pulled the cancer-card, right?" he said, turning to look at Oliver who nodded before looking back at Felicity.

"I know," Felicity grinned, "and now everyone in that room knows that I'm sick too, which means that the  _truth_  is out and everyone will know by the end of the day."

Oliver took a hesitant step forward. "Are you okay with that? People knowing that you're...ill?"

She looked up at him from the couch and tilted her head sideways. "Yeah, surprisingly enough I am. I mean, everyone was bound to learn sooner or later and I figured, why not use it to our advantage?"

Her comment made both men frown. "What do you mean?" Diggle asked. "How was this beneficial to us? Besides the amusement, I mean," he clarified with a low chuckle.

"Well, not only did it prove what kind of a woman Isabel really is," Felicity stated, "but it also showed what a good man  _you_  are," she explained, looking at Oliver. "I mean, what I told Isabel is true. You have been pulling your weight here at the company, supported me too while doing so  _and_ managed to keep up your  _nightly activities_ ," she pointed out. "Sure, I've been helping by checking some rapports and Diggle's been helping with the," she mimicked pulling a bow string, "but really, it's all you, Oliver."

Oliver didn't look like he agreed. "Felicity," he sighed, but she held up her hand to stop him.

"Stop degrading yourself and give yourself some credit," she told him. "What I said in the break room can only earn you more respect from the board members, because really, who can deny that to a man who is not only managing to keep to company flourishing, but also supporting his friend day and night? So please, just  _accept_  that it's true and leave it at that," she finished.

They stayed quiet for a while, but it was a comfortable silence.

"You know," Oliver slowly began, "I wish I could have taken a picture of Isabel's face when you pulled of your wig and she realized what a huge mistake she was making by going up against you."

"A picture?" Diggle chuckled. "I wish I could have recorded the whole thing!"

Felicity let out a giggle, which soon turned into a fit of laughter. It didn't take long for Oliver and Diggle to join her as they proceeded to tell her about the looks the other people in the break room had given Isabel after Felicity had left.

The next day, when Felicity watched Isabel personally delivered a fruit basket to her desk, along with giving her a personal apology while being supervised by the head of the HR-department, she couldn't help but feel like her outburst in the break room had been worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo? What did you think? I LOVED writing Felicity telling Isabel off! Please tell me what piece of dialogue you liked best! It might not be the best, but I loved writing the part where Felicity asked Isabel if she drank sour milk every morning ^^. It just sort of came to me.
> 
> So thank you for the wonderful support! Comment and tell me what you think and I'll make sure to keep writing!
> 
> Oh and one more thing before I forget: I mentioned on my tumblr that I will be bringing in Laurel for a chapter, but that will be toward the end of the story. Moira however, will NOT be making an appearance in this story. I'm afraid I haven't exactly had time to think of a way to fit her in and since Thea made an early debut, I feel it will bring up unnecessary questions like "Where had Moira been all this time?" and such, that I really don't feel like answering, since this story centers on Felicity's illness and her relationship with Oliver. Let's pretend that Moira's away on a trip around the world doing charity things to make up for the Undertaking... Or something...
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)


	15. Exhaustion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity watches Oliver for a chance and shares her concerns with Diggle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's Wednesday! :D Without wasting any precious time (since I really need to go study for a test coming up Friday), please enjoy this chapter! :)

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 15: Exhaustion**

**Word count: 2,785**

* * *

It all began with a yawn during a board meeting.

Oliver quickly apologized for interrupting the man presenting a new project and continued to listen, but Felicity had already lost her focus. She gazed at her friend, who continuously blinked, as if desperately trying to stay awake. Frowning to herself, she didn't comment on the matter after meeting, instead, she simply put a cup of coffee on his desk and offered him a small smile.

A couple of days later, it happened again, but this time, Oliver yawned while they were making their way through the final  _Harry Potter_  movie. He was sitting on the armchair in her living room while Diggle sat next to her on the couch, with her feet popped up in his lap.

"Hey!" she protested, throwing a piece of pop-corn at him. "How can you yawn while Harry Potter is on?"

"At least I'm not actually asleep," he offered with a small shrug, motioning with his head sideways. Felicity turned to look at Diggle, who was snoring lightly next to her.

"Oh my God," she groaned. "Seriously?" She didn't even try to be gentle when she shook the older man awake. Diggle apologized, but pointed out that he had a young nephew who had already forced him to watch the movie ten times since it came out. She let it go, but stuck out her tongue at Oliver who seemed awfully pleased that she had directed her irritation elsewhere. Before she could say something else to him, to get the smug look off his face, she stopped. He had bags under his eyes and honestly, he looked exhausted. She didn't comment, when a couple of minutes later, he yawned again.

Another week passed and they were down in the Foundry. Diggle and Oliver were working out and Felicity was checking up on some searches she had left running a couple of nights ago. Yes, she had taken a few days off from the Arrow business, but her last treatment had really tired her out. Oliver himself had told her to get some rest because she clearly needed it and for once, she didn't protest.

She was toying with the green scarf that Oliver had bought her and retied it around her head a couple of times because it kept dropping over her eyes. She couldn't believe almost a month had passed and she still hadn't mastered the knot, despite googling it over a hundred times! The problem with the green scarf was that it was cut differently than the other scarves she had, and she simply couldn't get a hang of it.

"That's enough training for today," Oliver announced, throwing Diggle a towel. Felicity swirled around in her chair. She wasn't exactly creeping on the two, incredible chiseled men, but she surely appreciated the view.

"You doing okay, Felicity?" Diggle asked as she once again took of her scarf and tried putting it on.

"Can't get a hang of this," she admitted. "Sorry, Oliver, but you pick the lousiest models," she smiled lightly. It didn't take long until her smile dropped though. "And by models, I mean  _scarf_ models! Like, I mean, I know you have a past with some very nice super models. So, of course I wasn't implying that you've made some fairly bad choices in your love life.  _Not_ that I'm thinking about your love life!" she quickly added, putting her hands up as if to defend herself.

He shook his head lightly and walked up to her, taking the green scarf from her hands. Slowly, he loosened the knot she had tried to tie and looked her in the eyes. "I know I've made lousy choices in the past, Felicity," he told her calmly, reaching around her head as he gently secured the scarf on top of her head, "but this choice wasn't one of them." His hand rested on the back of her head for a moment too long and Felicity had to swallow so that she wouldn't accidentally sigh in contempt. His hand was warm from the workout he had just finished and she almost couldn't stop herself from leaning back against his touch. It was electrifying, but Felicity didn't know whether that was a good or a bad thing.

She was aware of the fact that she had been attracted to Oliver, pretty much since they had met, although, she had thought that she had been able to move past that attraction and focus on their friendship. However, having Oliver at such a close proximity, looking down at her the way he was doing now... Well, she found herself wondering if his lips really were as soft as they looked.

_Oh God_.

What was she thinking? She couldn't be thinking about kissing Oliver! Especially not when she was dying of cancer. If her illness actually killed her... She didn't even want to think about it.

Forcing herself to tear her gaze away from his lips, where it had apparently settled without her knowing, she frowned when she noticed just how blood-shot his eyes were.

"I'm going to change and then head out to patrol," Oliver said after clearing his throat and taking a step back from her. His hand went from the back of her head, down to her neck and then forward, to her cheek, where once again, it rested for a brief moment before he pulled away all together, breaking their eye contact.

"Sound good," Diggle said and Felicity blushed as she realized that their friend had witnessed their little moment. "I'll stay with Felicity and clean up here," he said, motioning back to the various items they had used for their training session.

"Okay," Oliver nodded, heading toward the glass case to retrieve his suit. Felicity turned back around to face her computers, touching the green scarf again, which Oliver had successfully secured around her head. The thing he had said about being aware of the bad choices he'd made in the past had effected her more than she'd like admit. Had there been double meaning to his words or was she just imagining things?

"Hey, Felicity. Are you okay?" Diggle asked from behind her. Swiftly, she spun around in her chair again.

"What? Yes, of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" she asked.

"Well, for starters, you look awfully nervous for some reason," Diggle pointed out.

Deciding she didn't really want to reply to his statement, she looked around the lair. "Where did Oliver go?" she inquired.

"He left like three minutes ago, Felicity," Diggle informed her, frowning lightly as he moved closer to her to put his hand on her shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay? You didn't even hear the noise he made when he shut the door?"

Felicity shook her head, "No."

"Well, you must have been very distracted by something then," Diggle said, sitting down on the chair beside her. "What's on your mind?" he asked, taking her hand in his, smiling softly and reassuringly at her.

"Nothing," she replied, clearly way too quickly for Diggle's taste. He raises an eyebrow at her and she sighs deeply, giving in. "It's just that I'm worried... About Oliver," she admitted carefully.

She watches as Diggle's expression softens and he lets out a small chuckle. "Felicity, you're  _ill_  and you keep worrying about everyone but yourself," he said. "But sure, I'll play along: why are you worried about Oliver?"

Felicity bit her lower lip lightly, contemplating where to even begin. "For starters, have you noticed how tired he is all the time?" she questioned, which earns her a skeptical look from Diggle.

"That's nothing new, Felicity," Diggle replied. "He's running around town half the night and during the day he's stuck doing a job that he's never really wanted to do, despite everyone else's expectations."

"It's not that, Diggle," Felicity sighed exasperatedly. "I mean, he's done all that  _before_ , but even then he got some hours of sleep in. These last couple of weeks, he's tired  _all the time_  and I practically have to shake him out of his daze sometimes during meetings."

"What exactly are you inquiring, Felicity?" Diggle asked.

"I think Oliver is letting my illness get to him more than he should," she concluded. "But I don't know how to tell him not to worry about me, when I'm not one hundred percent sure that I'm the issue."

"Felicity, you're  _not_  an issue," Diggle argued, but Felicity held up her hand to stop him.

"You know what I mean, John," she told him and he nodded. She loved the fact that Diggle knew she was serious whenever she used his first name.

"Do you want to hear my opinion?" Diggle asked. "Because I have a feeling that you're about to throw an angry fit at Oliver and knock him out or something to force him to sleep."

Felicity neither confirms his suspicion, nor does she deny it, because the thought of smacking Oliver across his head with  _Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix_ has crossed her mind a time or two.

"Yes, Dig, I would very much like to hear your opinion."

Diggle smiles at her again before turning serious. "First of all, I think you're right. Oliver hasn't been getting enough rest, which I notice by the way he's been sparring lately. Secondly, Oliver  _has_  been thinking a lot about your illness," he told her.

"Has he said something to you?" Felicity asked, her eyes widening for a moment. She was clutching Diggle's hand tightly and it wasn't until he squeezed back that she released her grip slightly.

"No, but do you really expect him to just open up?" Diggle countered.

"No, of course not. Mr. Broody can't tell his best friends what he's feeling," Felicity grumbled, shifting slightly in her seat to make herself more comfortable. She had been feeling a bit uneasy lately and the medicine she had gotten from Dr. Applebeam wasn't helping much.

"Felicity," Diggle said, looking at her curiously. "You and I both know that Oliver doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve. He keeps everything in. That's the way he's been since the Island and that's probably how he's going to be until he's ready to talk about things."

"Yeah, but he has opened up a bit about what he went through," Felicity said. "Why is it so difficult for him to understand that I don't mind if he needs a day or two off too?" For a moment, Diggle didn't reply, so Felicity just watched her friend. "Wait," she said after a while. "How exactly  _do_ you know that Oliver has been thinking about my illness if he hasn't been talking to you about it?"

"Because I think about it too," Diggle admitted. "All the time."

"I'm sorry," Felicity blushed. She didn't want to be a burden to her friends, despite the fact that they had told her multiple times that she wouldn't be.

"We care about you, Felicity. Of course we'll think about you, so there's nothing to be sorry about," Diggle told her. "But if we're going to finish the discussion on Oliver... There's nothing you can do for him. The only thing you  _can_  do is remind him sometimes that it's okay to take a break once in a while."

"And how do you suggest I do that?" Felicity snorted. "He's more stubborn than I am sometimes."

The small smile that appeared on Diggle's face didn't go unnoticed by Felicity, but she didn't comment on it.

"Oliver is the type of person that thinks he can handle everything by himself," Diggle said. "Before we joined him on this crusade, he had actually planned on doing it all by himself because that's the kind of person he became on that Island. He couldn't count on or depend on anyone there and from what we've both heard, it never ended well for the people he grew close to there..."

Felicity's mind took her back to the times that Oliver had spoken to her and Diggle about the Island and the people he'd gotten to know there.

She shuddered and Diggle continued, "Oliver clearly doesn't want to burden  _you_  with more than necessary. He keeps pushing himself, like he's always done, thinking that he can handle it, but eventually, everything will catch up to him and he'll simply-"

"-break," Felicity finished in a low whisper. Diggle nodded and Felicity couldn't help but shift in her seat again. Had she taken her medication today?

"I know that it's difficult to accept, Felicity," Diggle said. "But the best thing you can do for Oliver is to let him figure out what to do with all of this by himself."

"But what if he breaks before figuring it out?" Felicity wondered. "What if he actually falls apart before he realizes that he's slowly killing himself? Does he even know what sleep deprivation can do to a human being? Not only that, but then there's also the part where he dresses up as a hooded vigilante at night and fights criminals. What if he tires himself out so much that he can't fight back? Diggle, what it-?" she cuts herself off abruptly, not wanting to think of the horrible images that flooded her brain after her last statement.

"I don't think you should be thinking about that, Felicity," Diggle told her softly. "You should just concentrate on getting better. I'll talk to Oliver, okay? If it makes you feel any better, I'll talk to him if he doesn't get any rest within the next few days."

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut and nodded curtly. "Yes," she agreed. "Thank you, Dig. I would appreciate if you talked to him. I understand that he's reluctant when it comes to speaking of my cancer, but really, I think it would do both me and him good to just accept that this is the way things are..." Diggle watched her warily and she shrugged. "I've noticed how he flinches whenever I say the C-word," she said. "He might not wear his heart on his sleeve, but he isn't very good at hiding how he feels about  _that_  particular word."

"I'll talk to him, Felicity," Diggle repeated, leaning over to press a light kiss to her forehead. "Please don't worry about it anymore, okay? Just, concentrate on yourself for  _once_."

Felicity only offered him another nod and he got up from his chair and walked off to clean up the area by the training mat.

Felicity sat in silence for quite some time, checking in on Oliver once or twice over the comms before starting up some new searches on her computers before sending Diggle home, telling him that she'd just catch a cab home with Oliver when he got back because she wanted to make sure he was fine. Once again, Diggle smiled at her in that funny way, which made her wonder whether the man knew more than he was letting on, but she didn't dwell on it for long.

Oliver returned to the Foundry and hour later and put his bow back in it's case.

"How did it go?" she asked him, standing up from her chair, making sure not to rise too quickly.

"I told you over the comm, didn't I?" Oliver smiled brightly. "Everything was good. No big thugs tonight, just one petty thief of two, but I took care of them."

"I'm proud," Felicity smiled back, walking up to him slowly. She removed his mask from his face and he closed his eyes for a moment, sighing deeply. She once again made a mental note of the bags under his eyes. When he once again looked at her, the tiredness was evident in every single line of his face. "Oliver?" Felicity questioned silently.

"Hmm?" he hummed, leaning in slightly to her hand, which she realized was still on his cheek, much like his had been on hers before he'd left tonight.

"Are you okay?" she asked after a beat and he stared into her eyes for what felt like a million years. Slowly, his lips turned up in a smile and he put his hand over hers before pulling her hand down from his face. He didn't, however, remove it from his grip.

"I'm fine, Felicity," he replied. "I just need to change and then I can drive you home."

Before she had a chance to say anything else, he'd pulled away from her and left her standing there, in the middle of the room by herself. She sighed to herself and felt that horrible tightness in her stomach again.

Oliver had said he was fine, but he had never been particularly good at lying to Felicity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I have to admit, this isn't exactly my best work and it's kind of more of a filler chapter which is supposed to prep you for next week... But it needed to be written and posted anyway, so I hope you liked it enough to leave a comment! :)
> 
> Thank you for showing your continuous support and giving me inspiration! Leave a comment and tell me what you though, so I have something positive to think about while I study the importance of Gross Domestic Product! :)


	16. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diggle finally confronts Oliver about his exhaustion, one week after his conversation with Felicity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drabble Wednesday! Wihuuuu! :)
> 
> I'm sorry for updating so late guys, but I've been running around all day (don't ask me what I did, because I honestly don't remember) so I JUST sat down! ^^
> 
> Oh well, I wanted to thank everyone for their support so far. I hit a little road bump a couple of days ago when I got a negative review on this story on AO3 so I want to just remind everyone once again that this story is COMPLETELY AU, which means Alternative Universe, which means I can write however I want, canon or fanon. That said, I want to thank those who responded on tumblr and supported me through the little issue. I love you guys. =)
> 
> Now, without wasting any more time, enjoy the chapter! ;)

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 16: Sleep**

**Word Count: 2,416**

* * *

Oliver laid panting on the training mat in the Foundry, looking up at the ceiling. It was ridiculous, really. Diggle had managed to pin him to the floor with one swipe of his feet after Oliver had lost his focus for just a  _second_. Okay, so maybe, things had gotten a little hazy before his eyes for like,  _two seconds_ but that was all it took for Diggle to gain the upper hand.

"Okay, I'm not keeping my mouth shut anymore," Diggle decided out loud as he helped Oliver up and threw him a towel.

"What are you talking about?" Oliver asked, wiping away the sweat that had formed on his forehead.

"It's been a week and I don't see any signs of you getting your head together," Diggle sighed. "I promised Felicity I would talk to you."

Oliver's eyes traveled over to Felicity's empty chair by her work station. She had gone home earlier tonight since she was tired after a long day at the office, but not without leaving him and Diggle strict instructions on what to do and what not to do while she wasn't there.

"Once again, I have no idea what you're talking about, Dig," Oliver pointed out, narrowing his eyes at the older man. He couldn't help it really; his eyes felt like they were burning and only by squinting, the pain lessened somewhat.

"Both Felicity and I have been worried about you," Diggle said, ignoring the annoyed tone in Oliver's voice. "She told me last week that she was afraid you weren't getting enough sleep lately."

"The two of you talked about me?" Oliver asked. "Behind my back?"

"Oh please Oliver, it's not as if you and I talk don't about Felicity behind  _her_ back sometimes," Diggle reminded him. Oliver's mind instantly flashed to  _that_  particular conversation he and Diggle had had in the hospital when Felicity had been about to get her first treatment. "Besides, you and Felicity probably keep things from me too sometimes, so don't be a hypocrite. She's my friend too."

This time, Oliver's mind wandered to that night when he'd taken Felicity on a ride with his motorcycle. He knew she hadn't told anyone about that night, and he certainly hadn't either. Okay, so Diggle had a point, as usual.

"I'm sorry," Oliver offered. "I am being a hypocrite, I guess, but why the hell would you guys think I'm not getting enough sleep?" he asked impassively.

"Well, since you're currently looking at me like you're seeing double, with blood shot eyes and bags under your eyes, I can't really tell you what gave us the idea that you're suffering from insomnia," Diggle sarcastically remarked.

Oliver let out a low chuckle. "It's not exactly insomnia, Diggle," he weakly replied. "I do sleep."

"But not  _enough_ ," Diggle said. "As I said, Felicity told me she was worried about you last week and asked me to intervene if I saw that you were pushing yourself too far."

"Why didn't Felicity just talk to me then?" Oliver snapped. "She could have told me herself and she shouldn't be worrying about  _me_  when  _she_  is the one-"

"-dying?" Diggle finished for him.

Oliver looked away from Diggle and grabbed the edge of the desk to support himself. He looked down, only to see that his knuckles were turning white. "She's  _not_  dying, Diggle," he practically growled.

"Oliver," Diggle said, putting his hand on Oliver's shoulder. "Even if Felicity talked to you about it, you would never have admitted anything to her."

"What makes you think that I'll say anything to you then?" Oliver asked, but it wasn't necessarily angry anymore. To his own ears, he sounded...  _defeated_.

"Because  _I_  understand what PTSD is, and this isn't  _just_  that, Oliver," Diggle said. "If you don't actually get some sleep, it's going to kill you. Felicity said so too."

"What exactly did she say?" Oliver asked, turning back to his friend to face him as he took a step closer. "What did she say, Dig?"

Diggle watched him quietly for a while before speaking, "I won't be giving you a transcript of our conversation, Oliver. Felicity trusted me with keeping an eye on you, but I don't have to tell you everything she said. The point, however, is that you need to get some sleep, because the poor girl needs to focus on her own health and I think she's concentrating far too much on how the two of us are feeling."

Oliver closed his eyes again and turned back around, feeling something boil inside of him. Yes, he was tired, more tired than he had ever been and that was saying much considering that he had spent five years on an almost deserted island.

Oliver  _had_ tried to get some sleep, especially after he caught Felicity looking at him worriedly one day at the office when he had yawned loudly, not even bothered about possibly offending the other board members. He knew Diggle was right and Felicity needed to focus on herself and herself  _only_. He hated being a distraction but at the same time, a tiny part of him was glad that she had noticed his change in behavior since it meant that he wasn't alone in worrying about the other.

"I don't want to fall asleep," Oliver whispered, finally giving in. He closed his eyes, hearing Diggle move behind him.

The older man put a hand on his shoulder, "What are you saying, Oliver? How can you  _not_  want to fall asleep? Don't you see yourself in the mirror? You're a wreck."

"I  _can't_  fall sleep, Diggle!" Oliver said, this time louder as he turned around to face his friend. "I am well aware of how I look, because Thea has pointed it out every single morning. I just  _can't-_ " his voice broke and he couldn't help but let out a deep breath.

"Why, Oliver? You can't keep all this bottled up inside. You need to get yourself together, not just for Felicity, but for yourself too," Diggle said, concern evident in his tone.

"I don't know if I'll be able to get up, Diggle," Oliver admitted, his eyes falling shut again. It felt as if he had grains of sand in them and he knew they were red and irritated from his lack or sleep. "I don't know how to say it without sounding...stupid, I guess," he inhaled once again. "It's just that, I don't want to fall asleep, because I don't want to wake up one morning to find that she isn't there anymore," he said, trying to put the thoughts that haunted him every night into words. "I don't know if I'll be able to pull myself out of bed, knowing that she won't be there to say good morning to be when I get to the office, or to yell at me for blaming myself for everything... I'm scared of waking up, calling her and learning that she died in her sleep or that she took a turn for the worse during the night."

He opened his eyes to see Diggle looking at him cautiously. Inside, he felt the walls he'd built up slowly falling down, but he knew there was no way he was ready to talk about their conversation in the hospital again.

"I don't want to wake up in a world where Felicity doesn't exist, Diggle," he said. "I don't think I'll be able to go on if something happened to her. Every single night, different scenarios flash through my mind and I keep looking at my phone, wondering whether she's sleeping or if she's in pain or if she's even  _breathing,_ " he told Diggle, once again breathing in sharply. His eyes were stinging and he was so, so tired, but he just... _couldn't_ sleep.

"Oliver," Diggle spoke up after a minute of silence. "You need to get your head together, because you'll get yourself killed one day and then Felicity and I will be the ones in pain," he told him. "I worry about Felicity too and I think about her every second of every day. I'm trying to be strong  _for_ Felicity, and I know that you're trying to too, but you aren't doing so by not sleeping.  _That_  is the only  _stupid_  thing about this whole situation."

"I told you that I can't fall asleep," Oliver repeated, but Diggle held up his hand, effectively shutting him up.

"I know, Oliver," his friend told him. "I know how much you care about her, you told me so yourself in the hospital that time but you  _know_  what I told you that time," he said. "And this goes against my better judgment, but there is a fairly simple solution to your problem."

Diggle turned around and started picking up his things, shoving them into his duffel bag as he got ready to leave the Foundry.

"And that is?" Oliver pressed, his throat dry as he spoke. His exhaustion was getting the better of him and he was desperate to know what Diggle's solution would involve.

Diggle turned around and offered him a small smile. "Felicity has more than one bedroom, you know," he replied and for a second Oliver wasn't sure he'd heard him correctly. "And her couch is comfortable too, if that would relax you more. I'm sure Felicity wouldn't mind," he shrugged.

"Are you telling me what I think you're telling me?" Oliver asked.

"I won't be saying it again, Oliver," Diggle told him. "I'm just suggesting something that would both get you some sleep and make me and Felicity worry less about you." He threw his duffel bag over his shoulder and offered him one last smile. "Just don't drive. You might fall asleep behind the wheel," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow, Oliver. Good night."

Oliver watched as his friend turned around and walked up the stairs. "Good night, Dig!" he called after him and then glanced over at Felicity's computers, thinking about what Diggle had suggested.

Could it really be that simple?

Oliver picked up his phone and looked at the time. It was way past midnight, which meant that Felicity was probably asleep. He should let her sleep...but he couldn't go another night without sleeping.

Without thinking twice about it, he dialed her number and waited patiently for her to pick up.

" _Oliver?_ " Her voice was raspy, as if he'd just woken her, which he probably had. " _Is everything okay? Did something happen? Do you need me?_ "

She had no idea.

Oliver took a deep breath. "I was just calling to check on you," he told her.

" _At one in the morning? Are you sure you're alright?_ " she asked and he couldn't help but crack a small smile. Pinching the brig of his nose, he closed his eyes and stifled a chuckle.

"I'm fine, Felicity," he replied. "But I was wondering..."

" _Yes?_ " she pressed as he trailed off.

"Is it okay if I come over?" he finally blurted out. "I can't sleep and...well, I've already woken you up and-"

" _Yes, Oliver,_ " she interrupted him. " _Of course you can come over._ "

Oliver let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "I'll be there soon," he told her.

" _I'll be waiting_ ," she replied before hanging up.

Oliver changed before calling a cab to pick him up. Diggle was right; he was  _way_  too tired to actually drive himself.

A couple of minutes later, he was in the cab, silently watching the city lights fade as he got closer to Felicity's town house.

Suddenly, he found himself in front of Felicity's front door, despite the fact that he couldn't remember even paying the cab driver. He must have payed him though, since the yellow car was long gone.

Oliver rang the doorbell and waited patiently. Before he knew it, the door sprung open and Felicity stood in front of him, wrapped in a bright, fluffy pink robe, her purple flannel pajama pants visible. He smiled to himself as he noticed the cartoon printed on them.

"Hi," he greeted her as she watched him carefully. She had a pink scarf around her head and her glasses perched high on her nose.

Without saying a word, she grabbed his hand, pulling him inside. Oliver tried to ignore the way his stomach made somersaults and his heart rate seemed to pick up at her touch. She led him to the couch and pulled him down to sit next to her. What surprised him though, was the way she curled up close to him and before he knew it, he caved, dropping his forehead to her shoulder.

"I'm tired," he admitted, his voice a mere whisper.

"I know, Oliver," she whispered back. "I know. Sleep," she told him, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "It's okay, just go to sleep."

She moved, putting a pillow in her lap before motioning for him to lay down. He wasn't thinking clearly because of the exhaustion, he told himself. That's why he didn't protest and laid his head in her lap before stretching across the couch. One of her hands came to rest on his chest, over his heart and he grasped his with his own, holding on to her. She turned on the TV before once again resting her other hand on his head. Soon, she began drawing soothing circles with her fingers on his forehead before running her fingers through his hair.

Oliver felt the tension that has built up in his head over the last few weeks slowly fade with every touch of Felicity's hand. Gently, he squeezed the hand that was covering his heart and she responded by gently stroking his cheek.

"Go to sleep, Oliver," he heard her say, but her voice was somewhere in the distance. He could hear her breaths as she watched the TV, and as they began to even out, he knew she too was falling asleep. His eyes were closed and he mentally counted her breaths before feeling himself drift off completely.

Never, since his return from Lian Yu, had Oliver slept as well as he did that night.

The next morning, when he'd woken up to Felicity making pancakes, he'd only observed her quietly. She'd felt his gaze on her and looked up, smiling at him brightly.

Her smile and the warmth he'd felt in his heart after witnessing it had been enough for him to know that he was completely and utterly done for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Diggle. I just love that man... :)
> 
> And yes, Oliver has officially realized that he is completely smitten with our lovely Felicity, but of course, he won't be doing anything about it...yet.
> 
> If you're wondering about Diggle's conversation with Oliver in the hospital that I keep mentioning, you'll find out soon enough what that's all about! ;) And I suggest you guys prepare yourselves... The next three chapters won't be all sugar and candy canes!
> 
> Thank you for reading! Reviews are golden, as usual! :)


	17. Cough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver gets distracted while sparring with Diggle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It's Arrow Wednesday which also means it's time for yet another chapter of Crumbled Papers! :D
> 
> I am thrilled with the response I have gotten so far on this story so to celebrate that and the season finale of Arrow which airs tonight (I won't be able to watch it until tomorrow), I might be doing something special if this chapter gets enough reviews! So, review, review, review away and I'll give you guys a notification! ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 17: Cough**

**Word Count: 1,658**

* * *

_Cough, cough, cough._

Oliver's jaw tightened as he threw another punch at Diggle, causing the other man to stumble back a couple of steps.

_Cough, cough._

Glancing sideways at Felicity, who was sitting by her computers, Oliver parried Diggle's advance. He ducked under the older man and tried kicking him, but Diggle effectively blocked him, pushing him back.

The last couple of days Oliver had noticed a slight change in Felicity's behavior. She didn't come to the Foundry as often, preferring to do her work from home where she could lay in bed while hacking. She had tried to stay active at work, but both Oliver and Diggle could tell that she was tired. Truthfully, she was a bit paler than usual and when she thought they weren't looking, Oliver sometimes noticed a hazy look cover her face, as if she was deep in thought about something.

When Oliver asked her about it, however, she'd just look up at him brightly and smile, effectively making him back off. He didn't want to pressure her about anything, especially not sharing her thoughts on her illness or life in general, mostly because he trusted her to talk to him whenever she was ready.

He was aware of the fact that he had never been an over-sharer either, but he didn't exactly feel ready to talk about  _everything_  that happened on Lian Yu, or even before the wretched Island. Felicity hadn't exactly been subtle when she had told him once that she had checked his High School grades and he wasn't naive to think that she hadn't looked him up when he first started bringing her blatant lies as he dropped by for her help. He just didn't know just how much she'd read up on him and his past antics, which worried him since he didn't want her to know the person he had once been.

When he'd come back from the Island, he had been a killer. Diggle and Felicity had been the beginning of his change, telling him on several occasions that he could be  _better_. Tommy's death had been the catalyst that had sped his change up. Deep down, in his core, Oliver knew that his friend would be grateful for, and perhaps even proud of, the vow he had made himself when he had put on the hood again. He knew that both Diggle and Felicity were proud of him for it and every night before he headed out of the lair, Felicity helped him put on his mask, reminding him that he was a hero.

At times, he wondered what it would have been like if he hadn't let his two friends in on his secret. Would he have crossed off the people on his father's list, but failed to stop the Undertaking? If he had never gotten to know Felicity, would she have been somewhere in the Glades that night? Would she or Diggle have been two of the 503 persons who died?

He would never have been able to do it alone. Bringing Diggle in had been necessary, but Felicity... Once in a while, he regretted ever going to her car that night after his mother shot him. Since she had joined his crusade, her life had been threatened on multiple occasions, even before they found Walter. Oliver wondered why she had stayed with them...with  _him_. He had saved her so many times from  _his_  enemies, and yet, she was now slowly crumbling from the inside and there wasn't anyone Oliver could threaten or even  _kill_ _,_ to save her.

He would. Kill for her, that is. After he'd broken his promise not to kill when he had saved her from Count Vertigo, he had realized that there was absolutely  _nothing_  he wouldn't do to keep the woman safe. Yet, he was failing her, because he wasn't some doctor who could come up with a treatment that would be one hundred percent effective.

_Cough._

Oliver once again turned his attention to Felicity, looking over at her and thus lost his focus long enough for Diggle to pin him to the mat.

"Oliver, come on man," Diggle chuckled, helping him from the floor. "You've been so much better this week and now you're going soft on me again."

"Sorry, Dig," Oliver said, still trying to discretely look in Felicity's direction. "My mind was spiraling, I guess."

"Again? Are you okay?" Diggle asked, taking a sip from his water bottle.

_Cough, cough, cough._

Oliver winced. It sounded as if her chest was filled with water and his own throat hurt, just by hearing her cough. He watched as her shoulders shook and she held a paper tissue to her mouth, coughing into it wildly.

Oliver turned to look at Diggle, who had also directed his attention to their sick friend, who threw the tissue in the small trash can she had by her desk. Both Diggle and Oliver started to move toward her at the same time as yet another coughing fit started.

She coughed into a tissue again and quickly threw it into the waste basket, pushing it underneath her table before turning to face them, tapping her foot lightly on the floor. She was wearing flats, Oliver noticed. She'd been doing that for a while now.

"Hey," Diggle said, making her look at him. She hummed in response, looking up at them innocently. Oliver almost smiled, knowing that she would have batter her eyelashes at them too, if they hadn't fallen off due to her chemo. "Are you okay?" Diggle repeated, although this time, his question was clearly directed at Felicity and not Oliver.

"Yeah, yeah," Felicity nodded. "Why wouldn't I be? I mean, besides the obvious reasons," she added, moving her fingers in circular motions over her head.

"You've been coughing a lot today," Oliver pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well, it feels like I've had a bread crumb stuck in there since breakfast," she answered quickly. "No matter how much water I've tried drinking, it doesn't help and I don't particularly feel like drowning myself by taking in too much of the liquid."

Oliver tilted his head and looked at her. She was clearly hiding something.

"Maybe you should go home earlier tonight?" Diggle suggested. "Oliver and I will just patrol the neighborhood once or twice anyway, so there isn't really much you have to do here tonight."

Felicity looked as if she was about to protest, but then shut her mouth. She turned, glancing at her computers before turning back to them. "You know what? I think I'll do just that," she nodded, offering them a smile.

She was trying her best to make it look genuine and Oliver found himself wondering if Diggle too could tell that she was faking it.

"I'll get a cab," Felicity told them, "since Doctor Applebeam told me I shouldn't drive at night because of my tiredness." She embraced Diggle shortly before hugging Oliver as well. When she pulled away from him, her eyes met with his briefly before she headed for the stairs. "I'll see you guys tomorrow at Queen Consolidated. Call me if you need me!" she shouted back at them before waving lightly and stepping out.

Oliver watched as the door closed behind her before turning to Diggle. The older man didn't comment on their friend's strange behavior, but Oliver could tell that he too was worried.

"Why don't you get hooded up and get going?" Diggle suggested. "I'm off anyway. I'll just drive around for a bit before I head home."

"Sounds good," Oliver agreed. "Keep the comm in your ear in case you need to call me over."

"Yeah, yeah, you know I will," Diggle said dismissively while putting the little device in his ear as he headed for the stairs. "Just know that when it passes midnight, I'm going home."

"Okay," Oliver nodded.

"You should go home too," Diggle said, stopping to look at him. "Check in on Thea. I know you want to go to Felicity's again, but maybe she just needs a night alone?"

"So you noticed too, huh?" Oliver said, his eyes trained on the waste basket.

"I think anyone that knows her would have noticed, Oliver," Diggle sighed. "Whatever it is that's on her mind, she'll tell us when she's ready."

Oliver just nodded curtly. "I know," he replied, even though he wasn't so sure. "I'll go to the mansion after we're finished tonight."

"Good," Diggle said. "I'll check in with you in case something comes up."

"No problem."

Before he knew it, he was alone. He changed into his Arrow suit, making sure that all the things in the Foundry were neatly put away before heading for the door.

Then he stopped, turning to look at Felicity's computers. Should he turn them off or just let the programs run in the background? Maybe it was better to just turn the screens off?

He walked over to them and watched as the screens faded to black before lowering his gaze. Absentmindedly, he moved his foot under the desk, before dragging it closer to himself. He turned his eyes to the tissues he had watched Felicity use to cover up her mouth.

Before he knew it, he was reaching down and picking up the basket, shaking it around a bit before finally just picking up one of the tissues and turning it over.

His stomach dropped and he felt like he was going to be sick. Or maybe, the tightness in his chest was anger and hurt combined? Perhaps it was just confusion too. All he knew was that Felicity had indeed been hiding something and that he suddenly felt like  _he_  was the one who was choking on water as he tried to breathe to calm himself.

The tissue he was holding in his hand was covered in dark, crimson blood, as were the other eight that still lay in the basket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh nooooo! Yes, I know... I'm mean, but this chapter along with the next three are all kind of...angsty and gloomy, I guess. The next one goes hand in hand with this one, so as I said, review away and I might give you a surprise! :)
> 
> Thank you for reading and showing your continuous support! Lots of love!
> 
> (Now I'm off to mentally prepare for the season finale!)


	18. Crumbled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver has yet another breakdown which is followed by another heart to heart with Diggle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, as promised: here's the next chapter of Crumbled Papers! :) I haven't gotten around to answering the reviews on the last chapter, but from the encouragement I got, I decided to post this.
> 
> On another note [SPOILER ALERT]: I LOVED last nights episode! That's all I'm gonna say on that since I know that some haven't watched it yet! ;) But I really think that what happened is JUST what our lovely ship needed to stay on the slow burn train! ;)
> 
> But, if someone out there hoped for a happy, fluffy chapter to get over the emotional roller coaster that was "Unthinkable", I apologize in advance because this is pretty much just angst! ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 18: Crumbled**

**Word Count: 1,509**

* * *

"Oliver!" Diggle's voice rang out in the Foundry. "Stop! You're destroying the place!"

There was no stopping. Not now, not ever. Especially not when every single table he flipped seemed to make it easier for him to breathe properly.

Diggle tried putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him, but Oliver threw his friend off of himself before breaking one of the glass cabinets with his still gloved fist.

He could feel shards of glass ripping through the leather, but he didn't even feel the stinging.

He was numb.

He had been for three days, ever since he found those blood covered tissues in Felicity's waste bin. Patiently, he had waited for her to fess up and tell him and Diggle what was going on with her, but she kept pretending that everything was fine. Doctor Applebeam had apparently given her some cough medicine that was helping her, but she hadn't mentioned the fact that she had been coughing up blood in the Foundry that night. Oliver suspected she never would, so as soon as she had stepped out tonight, he had offered her a weak smile before proceeding to trash the place completely.

Diggle had clearly been shocked by his sudden outburst and was desperately trying to stop him, but he broke arrow after arrow, punching walls and kicking drawers until he finally fell to his knees in the sparring section, breathing heavily as he clutched his pounding head.

"What the hell, Oliver," Diggle muttered, hurrying over with a first-aid kit. "You've cut yourself."

"I don't care," Oliver growled, nostrils flaring.

"What's wrong with you? Do you have any idea how long it will take to repair and replace all the equipment that you just destroyed?" Diggle asked, pulling his gloves off carefully. "What were you thinking?"

"Felicity," Oliver breathed out, rage once again filling him. He wanted to punch something else, not knowing how else to let the anger out. If he went out on the streets again tonight, he knew there was a risk he might kill someone.

"Felicity?" Diggle paused, looking at him with a confused look.

"She's been  _lying_  to us," Oliver snarled.

"What?"

He knew he wasn't making much sense to Diggle, but he didn't even know how to explain it to the older man since he had been keeping her secret as well. Granted, she didn't know that he knew that she had gotten worse, but that didn't change the fact that he knew he should have told Diggle of his discovery instantly.

"She has been keeping things from us," Oliver started. "She is worse than she's been letting on."

"What do you mean?" Diggle asked as he wrapped a bandage around Oliver's bruised hand before starting to work on the other.

"She's been coughing up blood," Oliver said, his voice failing him as it broke. "She didn't tell us... She didn't tell  _me_."

"How do you know this then?" Diggle asked, but Oliver could hear the change in his tone.

"Three days ago," Oliver replied. "After both of you left, I saw the blood on the tissues she'd used. I figured she would tell us, so I waited... But she doesn't want to tell us. She's keeping it from us to try to protect  _us_ ," he chuckled bitterly.

"We'll talk to Felicity," Diggle reasoned, clearly not wanting to get into the fact that Oliver had known about this or three days without telling him. "She'll get better, Oliver. You just have to keep believing-"

"I don't know what to believe anymore, Diggle!" Oliver exclaimed loudly. "How am I supposed to  _help_  her if she doesn't even tell me when she's in pain or if she's getting worse?"

Diggle shook his head as he finished wrapping his other hand. "Have you tried talking to Dr. Applebeam?" he questioned.

"He's stopped giving me updates since he feels like he's been violating the doctor-patient confidentiality policy," Oliver said. "He told me that he couldn't keep giving me information about Felicity's illness anymore since we aren't related and it's only acceptable to tell me anything if Felicity is there too so that he can have her consent on sharing."

Diggle let out a humorless laugh, "I have a feeling Felicity had something to do with his lack of enthusiasm to share any developments that may have occurred these past few months."

"Yeah," Oliver agreed dryly, biting the inside of his cheek. "It wouldn't surprise me, but that's beside the point."

"What is the point then, Oliver?" Diggle pressed seriously. "I know that you feel helpless, because I've already told you once that I feel the same, but what are you trying to tell me? Have you made up your mind yet?"

Oliver let Diggle's question hang unanswered in the air for a minute before meeting his friend's stare. "I made it up a long time ago, Diggle," he told him. "The day of her first treatment. You were there when I told you I didn't know what I would do without her if something went... _wrong_." Oliver's voice once again failed him as his mind flashed to the conversation the two of them had had at the hospital and then to Felicity's blood on the white paper tissues.

"You mean the day that I told you that you needed to make up your mind completely before telling her anything?" Diggle questioned. "When I told you that she wouldn't believe your feelings for her were real because she would think it was all a result of her being sick?"

"Yes," Oliver replied. "I  _care_  about her, Diggle. More than I've ever cared about anyone," he said, his eyes falling shut as he hung his head. "I don't think I'll be able to go on if something happened to her..."

"I know," Diggle said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "I see how deep your feelings for her run, Oliver, and I understand your helplessness. This is the one opponent you can't beat for her."

"And I  _hate_  that," Oliver growled, looking back up. "That's why I need her to tell me the  _truth_. She can't keep things like this from me!"

"From  _us_ ," Diggle corrected, but it looked like he was agreeing. "I have told you several times already that Felicity wants to protect us both by not sharing everything. If she really did tell Dr. Applebeam not to tell us anything, then we'll have to trust her to tell us when she's ready."

"But what if she doesn't tell us?" Oliver asked. "What if she decides that she wants to protect us and then things go really  _bad_  and we didn't have a clue or even a chance to tell her-" he cut himself off, shaking his head.

He didn't know whether it was Felicity's foolish attempt to spare their feelings by keeping secrets that he was shaking his head at, or his own lack of courage to admit his feelings for the stubborn woman.

"You'll get to tell her how you feel, Oliver," Diggle said, almost as if he had read his mind. "But for now, we have to at least be thankful for the fact that she's receiving the treatment that can help her defeat her cancer. Hopefully, she'll come around and tell us if it gets worse."

They didn't speak for a while and Diggle finished treating the cuts Oliver had obtained during his rampage. When they finally rose to stand, Diggle walked away and fetched a broom before handing it to Oliver.

"Don't expect me to clean this up by myself," the older man told him and Oliver almost chuckled as he took the cleaning implement from him. "Hopefully, Felicity won't come here tomorrow so that we have some time to clean this mess up."

Oliver only nodded before beginning to clean up the mess he'd made. The shattered glass was everywhere and at the moment, he felt as if every single piece that was holding him up was shattering too.

"I'll give her until the end of the week," he finally spoke. Diggle raised his head to look at him from the other side of the room. Oliver turned to face him fully, his knuckles white as he clutches the broom in his hand. "If she doesn't tell us anything until the end of the week, I'll confront her about the blood."

Diggle only nodded. "Okay," he agreed. "As long as you try to keep your temper under control."

"I'll do my best, Dig," Oliver replied. "But I sincerely hope she tells us herself and doesn't let herself suffer while keeping us in the dark."

"It's not as if we can remove her pain, Oliver," Diggle said.

"Yes, but at least she won't be going through it alone," Oliver said before turning back to clean up the rest of the Foundry. Something inside of him, however, told him that Felicity wouldn't be running to tell them what was going on with her and he already dreaded the day he might have to bring it up himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? :) The next chapter will be posted as usual next Wednesday! It's already written and prepped for posting but we'll be going back to the scheduled day of posting! ;) Next chapter will actually be from Diggle's point of view so I'm looking forward to having you guys read it! ;)
> 
> Oh, and if you want to discuss the season finale of Arrow, feel free to message me on tumblr! :)
> 
> Thank you for reading! ;)
> 
> Lots of love! xx


	19. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diggle observes something that has been building up these last couple of days and things take a turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'm baaack and this time with even more angst (I think! ;) )!
> 
> No but seriously though. I'm already feeling that there's a lack of Arrow in my life and I've been filling my spare time with reading and writing... Can hardly wait for the hiatus to be over, which isn't exactly the best thing in the world considering that it just started.
> 
> So this is my contribution to the Olicity-fandom. At least for a couple of more weeks since this story will be ending on chapter 25! Then as soon as Summer break starts, I might have a project going on with basing one-shots on quotes and poems and proverbs, so if you have any that you like, please share them on my tumblr!
> 
> Without wasting any more of your time, please enjoy this little chapter, from DIGGLE'S POINT OF VIEW! :)

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 19: Pain**

**Word count: 1,627**

* * *

Diggle didn't really know what he had expected to see when he walked into the office after receiving two separate text messages from his friends.

The first one was from Oliver, asking him whether he knew where Felicity was or not, and the second one, was from Felicity, informing him that Oliver was being an ass.

It was pretty clear that the two of them were having a disagreement of some sort, so Diggle simply texted them back that he would be at the office soon enough so that they could get whatever it was that had happened between them settled. Of course, the rising tension between his friends was becoming kind of hard to witness, but at times, Diggle really wished he could have a box of pop-corn with him to the fallouts, mostly since Felicity's snarky comments were priceless and Oliver's face when receiving them was Oscar-worthy.

This time, however, there was nothing amusing about the situation.

Diggle was glad that their office had been sound proofed after renovations a couple of months ago, because as he walked closer to the glass wall, he could clearly see Oliver and Felicity shouting at each other. Felicity was standing in the middle Oliver's office, her hands on her hips while Oliver was waving a finger around as he pointed at the phone, at her and then at her desk and then around again.

"You can't just skip your appointed treatment, Felicity!" Diggle heard Oliver shout, just as he entered the office before closing the door behind him.

"Oliver, you need to calm down so that I can  _explain_ ," Felicity started, but it was clear that Oliver wasn't stopping anytime soon.

"There's nothing to explain, Felicity! It's pretty clear to me that you're not only keeping secrets, but also skipping out on your treatment!" he said loudly.

"Keeping secrets? It was  _one_  session, Oliver! And what  _secrets_?" Felicity fumed, crossing her arms.

"Wait," Diggle interrupted. "You skipped a treatment, Felicity?" he asked, making both Felicity and Oliver turn their attention to him for a second.

"It was nothing, Dig," Felicity sighed. "But it  _Oliver_  would just let me explain before he looses it completely-"

" _I'm_ loosing it?" Oliver questioned, raising his eyebrows at her with a sarcastic chuckle as he shook his head. "Seriously, Felicity?"

"Well, you just came in here all 'grr' and started yelling at me without letting me tell you my side of the story! You're just making assumptions," Felicity defended herself.

"Oh, like I'm making assumptions that you've been hiding the fact that you're coughing up blood?" he asked, glaring at her.

Felicity's mouth opened, as if she wanted to respond, but she shut it instantly. Her eyes closed for a brief moment and she pinched the brig of her nose. "How do you know about that?" she asked, defeated.

"I saw your tissues a couple of nights ago," Oliver replied, his tone calmer this time, but still angry. "I expected you to tell us about it, but you didn't and then when I went to the hospital this morning to see Dr. Applebeam in person, he told me you had decided to skip your chemo-session today."

Diggle watched as the tension in the room slowly began to fizzle out, but they both remained highly guarded.

"I haven't been feeling well, Oliver," Felicity admitted. "That's why I _rescheduled_  my treatment today."

"And you don't think it's important for Diggle and me to know that you're in  _pain_?" Oliver snapped, once again letting his temper and clear frustration get the better of him.

Diggle tentatively took a step closer to them. He glanced at Felicity, who still had her arms crossed, but there was something different about her. Her posture wasn't as straight anymore and honestly, it didn't look like she was crossing her arms. It looked more like she was clutching her stomach.

"Oliver," Diggle began slowly, but Felicity was already taking a step back from Oliver, toward his desk.

"What difference does it make, Oliver?" she yelled at him. "It's not as if you can take the pain  _away_ , is it? Why should I worry you when there's  _nothing_  you can do?"

"We have a right to know when our friend is  _hurting_ , Felicity!" Oliver retorted loudly. The tension was once again building and as Diggle watched Oliver, he could see that the younger man himself looked like was struggling to keep himself together. There was desperation written all over him.

"Again, it's not as if you have something that will be more helpful than the pain medication I was prescribed a couple of days ago," Felicity muttered, loud enough for both of them to hear.

"You still should have told us, Felicity!" Oliver exclaimed. He looked as if he was getting tired of her constantly keeping things from them, just to protect them. "First, you find out that you have cancer, and you don't tell us until  _two weeks_  later. Then, you start keeping things like this from us too. What's next, Felicity? Are we just supposed to wait around for Dr. Applebeam to tell us that you've  _died_?"

"Oliver!" Diggle said, taking a step toward him. "Calm down."

"No, Dig! I don't want to calm down!" Oliver growled. "How the hell am I supposed to do anything if she doesn't tell us what's going on?" He turned back to Felicity. "Did you tell Dr. Applebeam not to share anything on your illness with me?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied, her voice strong and determined, but she still took yet another small step toward Oliver's desk. "I did, and I would do it again if it meant that you didn't go around and constantly think about what might be happening to me."

"You're making no sense whatsoever, Felicity!" Oliver responded. "Don't you think we worry about enough as it is? You keeping things from us and lying to us by telling us that you're fine is what makes us think about it constantly!"

"It's not much different from a few weeks ago when  _you_  told  _me_  that  _you_  were fine, Oliver!" Felicity yelled at him. "Despite the fact that you hadn't been sleeping at all and probably dying of exhaustion!"

"You have  _cancer_!" Oliver roared, causing Felicity to jump a little and take another step back. Diggle watched her carefully as she blinked...continuously. It looked like she was having trouble focusing. "You have cancer, Felicity... It's completely different!"

"It's  _not_! At least I  _know_ that there's a pretty big risk that I might die, Oliver!" Felicity screeched back. "You were killing yourself by not sleeping because you keep pushing yourself to be everywhere at once! Can you blame me for trying to protect you?"

Diggle stepped toward her as she blinked a couple of times more, one of her hands falling to Oliver's desk.

"Oliver," he said slowly as he moved closer to the girl. Her knuckles were turning white from clutching the table so hard and her lips were pressed in a tight line.

"You're trying to protect me? From who? Yourself?" Oliver asked, shaking his head. "I don't need any protection from you, Felicity! I need  _honesty_!"

"It's not as if you've shared every single thing that you've even been through with  _me_!" Felicity countered.

"Stop trying to paint me as a hypocrite!"

"You  _are_ a hypocrite, Oliver!"

"And you're infuriating!"

It all happened so fast that Diggle didn't even know how he had reacted so quickly.

One second, Felicity had stood up straight, getting ready to keep calling Oliver out on his bullshit, and the next, she had let out a loud cry, clutched her stomach and doubled over. Diggle sprung forward, catching her just before she hit the floor and turned her around to see that her eyes were closed and she was unconscious.

"Oliver!" Diggle yelled, looking up at the man who stood frozen at the scene before him.

"Felicity?" Oliver whispered, his voice trembling as his face covered with fear. "Felicity!" he yelled as he seemed to find the strength to move toward them.

"Oliver, call an ambulance!" Diggle ordered, checking for Felicity's pulse. It was there, but her breathing and slowed immensely.

"No, no, no," Oliver chanted as he reached over to touch Felicity's cheek. "I didn't mean it, I swear," he told her, almost as if he hadn't heard Diggle at all.

"Call 911, Oliver!  _Now_!" Diggle shouted, finally getting the younger man's attention. With shaking fingers, Oliver picked up his phone, never taking his eyes off of Felicity's unconscious form as he called for medical help.

It was quite a blur after that. The Queen Consolidated medics arrived on scene and helped them transport Felicity down to the ground floor and to the ambulance that was waiting. Diggle could recall hearing Oliver argue with the medics there, demanding that he and Diggle get to sit with her in the ambulance instead of driving after them.

In the end, the medics had agreed, but that was mostly due to the fact that Oliver seemed to be acting irrationally and would probably cause more damage if he sped through the streets after them.

As they sat in the ambulance and one medic covered Felicity's mouth with an oxygen mask, Diggle looked over at Oliver who was staring at her pale face. There were tears falling down freely on the younger man's cheek, which didn't exactly surprise Diggle much. It was pretty clear how Oliver felt about Felicity. No, the thing that shocked Diggle, however, was that Oliver didn't move to wipe the tears away. For once, it seemed, he was allowing himself to show his vulnerability and Diggle didn't exactly feel like commending him on it, as a single tear rolled down his own cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the cliffhanger people, but it had to be done at some point!
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter and I really hope I captured Diggle well enough... Writing the verbal fight between Oliver and Felicity was really hard on me since I just want them to be happy...preferably together. Still, let me know what you think in a comment and I'll see you again next Wednesday! ;)
> 
> xoxo


	20. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity finally wakes up at the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else feeling like they need season 3 of Arrow RIGHT NOW? Well, I sure do... But until then, we'll just all have to fill the holes in our heart with lovely fanfiction I guess! ^^
> 
> First off, I want to apologize for leaving you all with a cliffhanger last week. So...uhm...sorry! But, I just want to say that the reviews were lovely and I think I replied to all of you (if I didn't then I'm sorry again! My computer turned off when I was in the middle of my replies so I might have missed someone!).
> 
> On another note, I'm just going to say this once: I am NOT going to update any other day than Wednesdays! Especially since I only have like four more chapters of this story to post and an epilogue. The other reason is that I need something in my life that sticks to a schedule, so there's that.
> 
> Okay, I think I'm done now... So enjoy the chapter! :)

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 20: Understanding**

**Word count: 2,353**

* * *

_Beep, beep, beep._

The sound made it's way to Felicity's ears as she shifted slightly on her bed.

_Beep, beep, beep._

The steady signal caused her to frown in annoyance as she reached for her alarm clock to turn it off, but her hand only met an empty space.

"Felicity?"

Slowly, she began opening her eyes. For a moment, it was all blurry, but she could make out two shades towering over her.

"Oliver?" she asked, her throat sore and her voice raspy and muffled. Her fingers moved to touch her mouth, but were met by plastic. Her mouth was covered with an oxygen mask.

Why was her mouth and nose covered with an oxygen mask?

She squinted and tried to make out the other form on the other side of the bed. "Diggle? What happened?"

She began removing the oxygen mask, but Diggle stopped her. "You need to wait until Dr. Applebeam gets here and gets a look on you," he told her.

"You're all blurry," she replied, her eyebrows still furrowed. "Where are my glasses?"

"Here," Oliver supplied, helping her put them on. She blinked a couple of times to adjust to the new, much sharper scene in front of her.

She  _clearly_  wasn't in her own room.

No, she was laying in a hospital bed, with an oxygen mask covering the lower part of her face, making it easier for her to breathe while her two best friends were looking at her in concern. She glanced at Oliver, who was now looking down, avoiding her stare and then turned to Diggle, who gave her a sympathetic look.

When she opened her mouth to say something, however, she was interrupted by Dr. Applebeam stepping into the room, two nurses on his heel.

"Ah, Felicity," he said, looking over some charts. "It's good to see that you're finally awake. Excuse us, gentlemen," he nodded at Oliver and Diggle, who immediately moved away from the bed. One nurse came up on Felicity's left side, where Oliver had been standing and checked a small device that was connected to her index finger while the other walked to her right and helped her remove the oxygen mask, offering her a small, but reassuring smile.

"You gave us quite a scare," Dr. Applebeam informed her, leaning over her with a small light, instructing her to open her eyes wide. "Do you remember what happened?" he asked.

The question seemed to force her brain into action as it all flooded back to her: the argument with Oliver at Queen Consolidated, the pain in her stomach that she had been feeling all morning which caused her to reschedule her treatment, the way everything in the office had turned blurry right after the pain had shot through her again...

"Yes," she answered hoarsely, not looking at Oliver, who she could  _feel_  had looked up at her. "I remember."

"That's good, Felicity," Dr. Applebeam said. "Mr. Diggle noticed that you were in pain, Felicity. Can you tell me on a scale from one to ten how bad the pain was, ten being the highest imaginable pain?"

Felicity thought back to when she had felt as if someone had sliced straight through her stomach with a blade. It was definitively a ten.

"Eight," she lied, looking at the doctor, who only offered her a wry smile. He had seen right through her, that much was clear, but he didn't comment.

"Okay," he replied with a nod, writing something down in his charts. "The pain combined with exhaustion seems to have caused your collapse," he concluded. "I've personally checked the blood we drew from you while you were unconscious and if we overlook the sick cells we found, everything else seems to be just the way we left it last week," he told her.

She remembered when she had gone to visit him after coughing up blood the first time. He had told her it was normal, a sign that the cancer was there and that it was strong, which of course was a thought that didn't comfort her much. He had reassured her that he would do everything he could in order for her to get better but she had left his office with less hope than ever.

"How long was I out?" she asked him as he continued to write down some values on his papers.

"A couple of hours," he said. "Mr. Diggle and Mr. Queen haven't left your side since we cleared you. You're very lucky to have friends like them." Felicity only looked at him as the nurses finished up and told him some numbers regarding the measured oxygen level in her blood. "I'll come back in an hour to check on you again, Felicity," Dr. Applebeam told her. "Until then, I suggest you rest and try not to strain yourself too much."

With a final nod, he walked out of the room, still scribbling on his papers as the nurses followed him. Felicity's eyes remained trained on the door for a little while before she gathered the courage to turn around and look at her friends.

"We were really worried about you, Felicity," Diggle spoke up first, taking his seat again on her right side, grasping her hand.

"I'm sorry," Felicity mumbled, avoiding to look at Oliver's face. Things were still unresolved between the two of them and she knew that he would want to talk about it and probably apologize for acting the way he did. She knew him well enough to know that he would once again try to take the blame for her fainting and that was exactly the reason she hadn't wanted to tell him anything about the blood to begin with. He always found a way to blame himself and she  _always_  tried to remind him of the fact that it wasn't his fault.

She glanced up at Diggle, who met her eyes and then looked at the door. It wasn't exactly subtle, and for a second she actually felt a little bad about asking him to leave them alone. She knew that Diggle had probably been just as worried as Oliver, so she might be treating him unfairly, but she really, really needed to talk to Oliver alone.

The way a small smile appeared on Diggle's face before he squeezed her hand and stood up told her that she didn't have anything to worry about though. Honestly, the older man looked a little glad that she had decided that it was better take take the bull by it's horns and just try to talk to Oliver about what had gone down between the two of them.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," Diggle excused himself and walked to the door, closing it after himself and the room was once again filled with silence. Felicity glanced at Oliver and noticed that he had hung his head, looking deep in thought. He looked tired, just like the time he had come home to her and admitted that he was exhausted. She cursed herself for not sensing that he had been avoiding her this last week. He had slept at her place every night and had then abruptly stopped and started acting distantly. She should have known that her own strange behavior had been noticed by him.

"I'm sorry-"

"Oliver, don't-"

They stopped and stared at each other for a moment, having spoken at the same time. He nodded at her to proceed and she offered him a grateful smile.

"I don't want you to apologize for anything, Oliver," she told him softly. "What happened to me wasn't your fault."

Oliver moved his chair a bit closer to her bedside and for a brief second, his hand moved up as if to take hers, but he stopped himself, resting it on his knee instead. Felicity didn't know what to think of herself when she felt a little disappointed that he hadn't taken her hand.

"Felicity, if I hadn't argued with you..." he trailed off. "I upset you and that might have been the reason-"

"Oliver," Felicity interrupted him again. "It wasn't your fault that I fainted.  _I'm_  sorry. For not telling you the truth sooner. I should have told you that the pain had gotten worse and that I was coughing up blood. I should have told you. You  _and_  Diggle," she said, realizing her mistake. "I know how much you two worry about me and I just thought that you didn't need to have yet another thing regarding me on your mind."

"Felicity," Oliver let out in a breath. "I think it's too late when it comes to that. You're always on my- on  _our_ minds."

It seemed that she wasn't the only one slipping up in this room. At least she could always blame the pain killers Dr. Applebeam had given her, which she knew she had received since she wasn't feeling the pain that had been constant for a week now.

"I tried to explain to you in the office that I had only rescheduled my treatment, Oliver," she said, deciding that it might be better not to comment on what he had just shared. She wasn't ready for that conversation, despite the fact that she had a feeling it would come up sooner or later.

The problem she had with it wasn't that she didn't care about Oliver. It was the fact that she knew that she cared  _too much_. She had noticed that he was acting differently around her, but she'd always blamed it on the fact that he was uncomfortable with discussing her illness. Lately- actually, it was more like these last two months- she had thought of the other possibility; that he had actually grown to care about her as more than a friend.

But what could she do about it? Despite the feelings she may or may not have for him, she didn't want to drag him down with her. She knew that hurting him was inevitable if she died. First and foremost, he would feel the loss of his friend, but if she actually talked to him about their feelings, she might learn that he would loose someone he thinks of as  _more_  than a friend and that was something she wasn't ready to handle.

"I know, and I'm sorry that I overreacted," Oliver said, bringing her back from where her mind had taken her. "I should have listened to you first before just assuming that you'd skipped out on your appointment." He chuckled to himself. "What was I thinking, right? For a second, I had actually thought that you were giving up."

Felicity bit the inside of her cheek. She was tired of everything that had to do with cancer. She just wanted it to be over. "I'm tired of fighting," she silently admitted, her eyes searching his for any kind of response.

"I am too," he replied solemly. "I don't want to fight with you."

"No," she shook her head. "It's not just  _you_  I'm tired of fighting," she told him, "it's the cancer. I'm tired of fighting my cancer."

Oliver stared at her blankly for a moment before taking a deep breath. She could almost feel the panic that rose inside of him radiate out in the room.

"You need to keep fighting, Felicity," he said, after managing to calm himself down. She could tell that he had been close to exploding into yet another tantrum at her admission. "This isn't you."

"But what if it  _is_  me, Oliver?" she groaned, closing her eyes briefly before looking into his again.

"No, it's not," he told her stubbornly. "You're stronger than this," he said, only a hint of anger in his tone. "Why the hell would you allow your illness to get worse? There's still a chance for you to survive this! Unless there's something else you're not telling me," he accused, but the look in his eyes was clearly looking for answers in her face.  
"A minimal chance of survival!" she exclaimed. "'Rare cases only'! I don't know why I would be so lucky," she said bitterly.  
"You are special; to us," Oliver said.  
"Oliver..."

What else could she say? It was useless to tell him that she didn't believe it would be worth all the pain and suffering she was going through with chemo therapy and being even sicker because of it, when she could actually be spending her remaining time on Hawaii or some other tropical place that she'd always wanted to visit.  
"No, Felicity! You don't get a say in this anymore," Oliver protested loudly, standing up, once again towering over her.

She sat up straighter in bed and glared at him, "It's  _my_  life."

"But you're a part of  _our_ lives  _too_ ," he retorted, effectively making her shut her mouth that had once again opened to fight him on the matter. "We don't want to lose you, Felicity," Oliver admitted before falling silent. His eyes remained focused on her.

"Oliver," she began with a small sigh, looking at him. It was at the tip of her tongue, bringing up what she had thought about earlier. He was in too deep. Actually, they were  _both_  in too deep.

"Okay," she finally caved.  
"You'll keep fighting?" he asked, relief flooding his face once again.

"Yes," she nodded and this time, he  _did_  reach for her hand, lacing their fingers together. She couldn't help but feel how her throat seemed a lot thicker as she tried to keep her emotions in check. She cared about him too much to hurt him, but she didn't want to tell him that he needed to take a step back from her. If things didn't go the way they wanted to, she wanted Oliver to get as far away from her as possible, because deep down, she knew she might ruin him completely.

"Good," Oliver told her genuine smile appearing on his lips.

She hated the fact that she couldn't help but smile back at him, when she felt like there would only be tears between the two of them in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and showing your support! I know the ending was a little bittersweet, but tell me what you think in a review! ;) At least it wasn't a cliffhanger this time! ^^
> 
> Next week, Oliver will have an unexpected chat with someone and come to a conclusion or two!
> 
> That's all folks!
> 
> Hugs! ;)


	21. Things Left Unsaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver is late to one of Felicity's appointments and as he hurries to reach her, he bumps into an old friend which ends with him coming to terms with things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! It's Wednesday, which means a new chapter of Crumbled Papers for you! ;)
> 
> Anyway, this story is slowly coming to an end since the last update will be update 25 (which is the epilogue)... It's been lovely to write and I struggled to decide how and when to end the story, but I'm happy with the outcome and hopefully you will be too when you read it in a few weeks! ;)
> 
> But that is not the point. The point is: New chapter, please enjoy and don't forget to tell me what you thought of it! ;)

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 21: Things Left Unsaid**

**Word count: 2,352**

* * *

Another two weeks passed since Felicity's little scare and things had almost gone back to normal. Oliver went over to her town house and slept on the couch after watching movies with her for as long as she could stay awake, since her medication tired her a lot. She came to the Foundry every other day to help them set up missions and Oliver actually felt a little more relaxed when he went out on the field now that he knew everything there was to know about Felicity's situation.

She had taken back her wish for Dr. Applebeam to keep things from Oliver and Diggle and had told the man that the two of them would always have to hear about whatever it was that they learned secondly after herself.

Now, two weeks later, Oliver was once again walking into the hospital to visit Felicity, who had yet another,  _stronger_ treatment, scheduled. Unfortunately, he had had a board meeting at the same time and Felicity had insisted that he shouldn't neglect his duties as CEO just so he could stay with her. After all, Diggle would be just as capable of doing so.

The thing about Felicity was that her behavior had changed a lot since she had fainted that day in his office. Despite the fact that he slept over almost every day, he could feel that she was trying to distance herself from him again. Not in terms of keeping secrets, but more like  _emotionally_  distancing herself. Whenever he suggested the two of them do something together, she always called Diggle in as well, seeming to not want to end up alone with him at any cost. He didn't exactly take offense to the way she acted, but he was curious to know  _why_  she had suddenly had such a change of heart. He knew that they had been growing closer, although he longed to know what it was that had caused the sudden change.

Diggle texted him and told him which room they were in and Oliver texted back that he would be there soon. He had just gotten out of the elevator and seen the room at the end of the hallway, where Diggle and Felicity could be seen talking about something through a glass window, when someone had stopped him.

"Ollie?"

Oliver stopped abruptly and turned to face the woman who had spoken; Laurel.

"Laurel?" he asked tentatively, taking a step toward her. His face broke out into one of those fake smiles that he used for the public while his brain screamed at him to keep walking to the woman that now, unknowingly, held his heart. "What are you doing here?" he questioned, carefully striking up a conversation.

"Oh, I've had the flu this entire week," Laurel informed him, her voice sounding a little strange, as if she had trouble breathing through her nose. "So I just came back for check-ups."

The flu was going around again?

Had Oliver really been so deeply rooted in everything that was Felicity Smoak that he hadn't noticed anything that was happening in Starling City, besides the crime that he continued to fight at night? Truthfully, he wasn't sure he had seen Laurel these last few months, which was strange, considering that the woman had practically been all he had been thinking about for six years.

"I haven't seen you around much lately," he voiced his thoughts.

"Yeah, I've been visiting my mom in Central City," Laurel explained. "And when I got back, I was so caught up in work that I haven't had time to call you and  _then_  of course, I had to go get the flu too," she laughed lightly. "How's your mom? Thea?"

"Mom is still traveling around in Europe, mending her relationship with Walter," Oliver said. "I hear from her once a week when she calls to check up on me and Thea, but I think things are going well between the two of them since she isn't calling so frequently," he told Laurel.

"And Thea? Is everything okay with her? Is that why you're in the hospital?" Laurel inquired, looking around as if she was trying to spot his younger sister.

Oliver's own gaze traveled past Laurel, to the glass window where he could see Felicity animatedly move her hands around as she explained something to Diggle, who was looking quite intrigued. The scene made his chest fill with warmth and he wanted nothing other than to go to them and hear what she was saying.

"Isn't that your assistant?" Laurel piped up, breaking through the haze he had fallen into.

"My Executive Assistant," Oliver corrected automatically before nodding. "Yes. That's  _Felicity_..." he trailed off, realizing the way he had practically sighed her name.

God, he had become such a sap.

That was his only thought as he forced himself to turn to look at Laurel again, who was looking at him warily. "Do you have time to maybe get a coffee or something?" she asked him. "I don't want to take you away from your friends, but I feel like we haven't really had a chance to talk lately."

Oliver glanced toward Felicity and Diggle again before turning to Laurel. He owed her that much, didn't he? One cup of coffee wouldn't be the end of the world.

"Yeah, sure. I'll just text Diggle and tell him I'll be a little late," he said, quickly taking out his phone.

"Okay," Laurel nodded. "I think I saw a coffee machine down the hall."

They walked together, away from Felicity's room and into another hallway. There was indeed a coffee machine there and as Oliver texted Diggle, Laurel prepared two cups for them before nodding toward a bench a bit further off.

"Let's sit," she told him and he followed her before taking a seat next to her.

If she noticed the distance he had set up between them, she didn't say anything on the matter. Instead, she sipped her cup before handing his over to her as he put his phone back into his pocket.

"So your friend," she began conversationally. "Felicity, was it? What does she have, if you don't mind me asking?"

Laurel's soft tone struck a cord in him as he leaned back on the bench.

"Stage 3 stomach cancer," he said, repeating the illness he had spent countless of times googling.

"I'm sorry," Laurel solemnly said. "She seems like such a nice person."

"She is," Oliver replied. "But she isn't going anywhere, so you might cross paths with her some day."

Laurel watched him warily. "So she's better then?" she asked.

"How do you define 'better'?" Oliver swallowed, looking down at her.

"I mean, have the doctor's told you of the survival rate?" she asked bluntly, making something inside of Oliver drop.

"Yes, but Felicity isn't like most others," he told Laurel. "She's remarkable and she  _will_  make it through this."

He took a long sip of his coffee, wanting to finish it as soon as possible so he could go back to Felicity.

"I don't mean to pry, Ollie," Laurel began, putting her hand on his knee, "but are you sure that Felicity is  _just_  your friend?"

The question caught him off guard and he turned to look at her. "What are you trying to say?" he asked.

"I'm not trying to insinuate anything," she replied, "but I'm not stupid. I see the way you're itching to get back to her."

"Laurel..."

"How long has she been sick?" Laurel asked, changing the subject.

"I honestly don't know," Oliver mumbled. "My perception of time has altered a bit... I can't remember when it all started, but it feels like it's been going on for years," he admitted. "Not that Felicity is a nuisance to me or something!" he added quickly. "I just want her to get better, so I haven't been able to think of much else than that."

Laurel watched him briefly before taking a small sip of her coffee again. "Well, now I'm convinced that she's more than just your friend," she informed him. "You've never done this much for your old friends."

"Felicity is... _special_ , to say the least," Oliver admitted slowly.

"Aren't you tired of always hurting?" Laurel inquired, her eyebrows furrowing.

"What do you mean?" he asked, this time genuinely confused.

"I mean, do you really think that it's good for you to stick around Felicity, when there's no guarantee that she'll actually live through this?" Laurel reflected. "You're always the one who ends up hurt, Oliver. This time, if the way you're acting is any indication, you might end up more hurt than ever."

Oliver watched her for a good moment as silence fell between them. When he spoke, he couldn't help the small amount of annoyance that made its way into his tone.

"Are you telling me I should just leave her? After everything we've been through?" he argued. "If you think I'm not aware of the possibility that I might get hurt in the end, you're wrong. I think about it every single day when I wake up in her living room. I think about how much easier it would be to just go back to my old life and ignore her. It would hurt far less, that's for sure," he remarked. "But then, I hear her small snores from her bedroom and I realize that I don't  _care_ about the fact that I might end up hurt when all of this is over."

"You sleep in her living room?" Laurel questioned and he nodded.

"I can't be separated from her for too long," he confessed. "It drives me crazy when I'm not around her."

At his admission, Laurel offered him a small smile. "It sounds like you're way past caring, Ollie," she asserted.

"I think so too," he let out in a small breath. "I honestly think I might be in love with her."

As soon as he had spoken the words, his entire body went warm. He knew there was absolutely no denying it anymore. The fact that he had just admitted it to Laurel of all people, told him something about just how deeply rooted his feelings for Felicity were.

"She's remarkable," he continued, still feeling a little out of breath. "She's beautiful, kind, loving. She's been there for me since the moment we first met. She trusts me and she believes in me and I would give my life for her, if it would only make her better," he revealed. It had been building up for a while, after all. "I trust her with my life, Laurel," Oliver whispered. "I don't know what I would do without her."

When he finished his little speech, he didn't care about the fact that he had only drunk half his coffee. He rose to his feet and looked down at Laurel, who seemed deep in thought.

"I need to get back to Felicity now," he announced and the brunette nodded.

"Oliver," she said, slowly raising to stand herself. "If there is one thing I've learned this past year, after everything that's happened between you coming back from the dead and Tommy..." she trailed off, shaking her head at herself. "It's that some things are better not left unsaid, especially when you're aware that your time together might be limited."

She stepped forward and embraced him tightly and he couldn't help himself but hug her back. It was evident that something between them was ending.  _They_  were ending, as lovers, but starting over, as  _friends_.

"No matter what I or anyone else thinks," Laurel told him, "Felicity deserves to know how you feel about her." She hugged him tightly one last time before stepping away. "I'll see you around, Oliver," she smiled lightly before walking away from him and walking to the elevators.

He watched her until she disappeared behind the closing doors and then turned to walk back to Felicity and Diggle.

He stood outside the room for a while, watching and hearing Felicity laugh at something Diggle said. It still amazed him how her smile and her laughter could brighten up an entire room along with his dark soul. She made him want to be better, to fight for what was right.

And he was in love with her.

His confession to Laurel had come unexpectedly to say the least, but he knew it was true with every fiber of his being.

As he stood by the door, watching her as she giggled, her eyes closed and a smile wide on her face, he almost wasn't able to keep from blurting it all out then and there. However, he knew that she wasn't ready to hear it. Not when she had been distancing herself from him. Now it all made a lot more sense to him. She must have noticed his  _own_  change of behavior before he even knew what was happening to him.

Oliver watched as she opened her eyes, still chuckling as she turned to look toward him, meeting his eyes.

"Finally," she grinned at him. "What took you so long?"

Her question held a double meaning in his mind. How could it have taken so long for him to actually admit to himself that he loved her? He had always used words like 'care' but never actually said 'love'.

"I got lost," he replied and she tilted her head to look at him. It was the truth, in a way.

"Well, why are you still standing over there?" she smiled. "Come in and join us! This show is hilarious!" she motioned to the TV.

Without hesitation, Oliver walked in and took his seat next to her. Somewhere in the middle of the show, as he looked down at her while she shook of laughter, his hand once again found hers. Surprising him, she laced their fingers and he wondered for a moment whether she was aware of it, since she hadn't stopped looking at the television, a bright smile on her lips.

He realized that it didn't matter to him, because he felt happy.

He felt at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Oliver... :)
> 
> I just want to say that I don't want any hate on any characters in the reviews. I respect Katie Cassidy and her work and I loved Laurel in season 1 when she was with Tommy. Sure, she had a rocky road in the second season and I sometimes felt they could have handled her story-line a little better, but still; respect is the hey word here!
> 
> Oh, and yes, I know that it might be a little random to all of the sudden have Laurel in the story when she hasn't been mentioned, but hopefully, you'll accept the way I explained her absence and understand that what I wanted to show here was that Oliver and Laurel are TRULY over and that Oliver is 100 percent committed to Felicity (even though she doesn't know it yet). So, hopefully, you'll understand it and be okay with this chapter! =)
> 
> Tell me what you thought and what you thought of my portrayal of Laurel! Especially since I've never actually written her before... ^^ Oh, and don't forget to review... You'll be rewarded for it, trust me! ;)
> 
> Lots of love!


	22. The Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has their limits and sometimes, people just reach that breaking point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! :D
> 
> Hahaha, yeah, that's right; I'm posting chapter 22 today as well! This is only to celebrate the fact that this story has officially passed 300 reviews on fanfiction, which also makes it my most reviewed story there!
> 
> So THANK YOU, for all the support you've given and all the wonderful, kind words and I want you to know that I love you all and I really appreciate you! =)
> 
> Regarding this chapter: I have a feeling you'll like it...and I would like to know if you do, so leave a comment! ;)

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 22: Breaking Point**

**Word Count: 1,619**

* * *

"You can't die," Oliver told Felicity the day he finally gave in.

He had spent the entire day sitting by her side quietly as she received her final treatment of chemotherapy and now, they were finally home again. She hadn't argued when he helped her lay down on her couch, mostly because the treatment had tired her out. Currently, she was laying there as he sat on the floor next to her, the TV turned on despite the fact that neither of them were watching it. He had only glanced back at her when he had decided that it was time to voice the thoughts that had been nagging him for at least a couple of weeks now.

"I wasn't planning on it," she replied, her voice weak and tired. "But we'll just have to see how it goes from here."

Oliver pressed his lips together and grabbed her hand gently. "No," he said, turning around so he was facing her fully. "you don't understand," he squeezed her hand gently. "You  _can't_  die because I need you here with me."

Her eyes were half-shut and she blinked a couple of times. He watched her intently as she processed his words. There was an obvious inner struggle going down in her mind and it was visible on her face as she seemed to think of the right words to say after she realized the meaning behind his confession.

" _Stop_."

It was short, and unexpected, to say the least.

Oliver tilted his head lightly and furrowed his eyebrows. "You can't die," he repeated, once again saying it as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"And you can't say things like that  _now_ ," she countered frustratedly, pulling her hand from his as if he was burning her with his touch. "You can't decide that you  _need_  me when I'm laying here dying. It's not  _fair_ , Oliver."

She looked more alert now. The tiredness seemed to have been replaced by conflicted emotions. He'd been watching her for quite some time and he prided himself in saying that he understood her body language better than he had when he'd first met her and gotten to know her.

Felicity had been somewhat of an enigma to him. Sure, he knew the basics. He knew that she was kind, loved the work they did together and some other miniscule things about her. However, he had never understood the way she saw the world. His youth had been tainted by constant disappointment and betrayal and the more he learned about Felicity, the more he understood that her look on the world was a lot different than his, despite the fact that she hadn't had an easy upbringing herself. It was first after he'd realized that they saw things through different lenses, that he'd learned how to read her properly.

The way she moved at the moment, crossing her arms protectively over her stomach, made him realize that his confession scared her. Quite frankly, it scared him too. The emotions that he caught himself feeling every time he looked into her eyes lately, scared him half to death. Not just lately, really. He had felt something from the very beginning, but he had known that his life was too dangerous and that he couldn't do anything to risk her life more than she was already doing by helping him.

"I've always needed you, Felicity," he confessed breathlessly.

"I told you to  _stop_ ," she said, closing her eyes briefly. Once again, she sounded tired, only with a hint of annoyance but also something else: defeat.

"I know," Oliver nodded, "and I don't want you to think that I'm just saying this because you're sick," he told her. "But I really do need you, and I want you to know that."

Felicity stayed quiet and he decided it might be better not to speak at all. When she didn't respond, he began wondering whether or not he'd made the right choice. Had he ruined everything he had almost unknowingly fought so hard to build? Had he destroyed them without meaning to?

"You  _are_  saying this because I'm sick though."

Felicity's whisper startled him and he looked up to meet her eyes again. They were filled with tears and he swallowed thickly, regretting for a second that he had said anything to her.

"You never would have confessed to needing me in any other way than a partner in crime, if I wasn't dying," she continued. "You are afraid that you'll regret never saying anything if I die, because you know how I feel about you. I don't need your pity, Oliver," she finally bit out.

"This is anything but pity, Felicity, and you know it," he sternly said. "This is the reason I wanted to wait until you got better. I knew you wouldn't believe me," he shook his head.

"What the hell did you expect me to say?" Felicity snapped. "I'm laying here; sick, hairless and literally on my deathbed, and you tell me that you  _need_ me!" she exclaimed, a clear bitterness in her tone. "What's the point of saying  _anything_ now?

"Do you need me to spell it out for you?" he asked, tired of the way they circled his yet to be spoken words.

"Oliver,  _don't_ ," she warned.

"I love you," he deadpanned, despite her plea to stop. His heart fluttered at his own words as the reality of them sunk into his own bones. "I have loved you since you came back to get me to come home after the Undertaking and I can't keep it to myself anymore," he confessed.

As he watched her intently, she turned her face away from him. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt as if he'd just run from one side of the city to the other.

It wasn't until he heard her sniffle, that he realized that she was crying. He felt torn, but he knew he couldn't stop now.

"I knew I loved you during your first treatment, but I didn't say anything because I knew you would doubt me," he told her. "I knew you would think it was pity, when it really, really isn't. I love you," he repeated softly, wanting to reach for her hand but not daring to..

Each time he said it, his heart skipped a beat and he felt as if it's beaten and broken pieces were finally falling back into place.

He didn't say anything else, deciding that he should give her time to think it all through and respond to his declaration, but he stayed put on the floor, still turned to her.

"Are you sure it isn't just pity?" she finally asked. Her voice was shaky and slowly, she turned to face him again. Her cheeks were wet with tears and as another one slowly rolled from the corner of her eye, Oliver reached up and brushed it away before finally letting his hand fall down to grasp hers again.

"I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life," he whispered. "I have been on strict orders from Diggle not to tell you though, because he was afraid of what your reaction might be."

Oliver watched as her eyes clouded for a brief moment before her confused expression was replaced by one of realization.

"So that's what the two of you were talking about that day," she said thoughtfully. "When I got out of the bathroom after changing, before my first radiation session. I saw the two of you by the window and you seemed to have been discussing something important."

"Yes," Oliver admitted. "Diggle predicted that you would react this way, and I'm sorry for telling you now and making you doubt me, but I can't keep my feelings for you hidden anymore."

They were still holding hands and Felicity shifted slightly on her couch,  _his_  improvised bed. "You know I can't say it, right?" she asked numbly. Her eyes were once again began drifting shut. The chemo's effect was tiring her out, that much was clear. "I can't hurt you, Oliver," she said, leaving the ' _in case I die_ ' unspoken.

"It will hurt either way, Felicity," Oliver said. "I'm hurting right this second, seeing you like this. Nothing you say or don't say will change that."

Silence once again filled the room and he wondered whether she had fallen asleep or not. He looked away from her, feeling his own eyes fill with tears. It was unfair. The woman he loved was slowly dying in front of him and he couldn't accept it. If she truly died... Oliver didn't know how he would be able to go on.

"You know how I feel," she suddenly spoke, forcing him to look at her again. Her voice had been so low that he for a second wasn't sure she'd spoken at all.

"About this conversation or me?" he asked, clearing his throat.

"You," she smiled sadly, squeezing his hand once reassuringly.

"Can you still tell me?" he asked, grinning back weakly.

"No," she replied, making his heart fall instantly. "Not right now, but when I'm better, I'll make sure to tell you," she told him.

He rubbed his thumb across her open palm. "I'll hold you to that," he whispered, leaning down to press a light kiss to her wrist.

Sure, the smile that adorned her face was torn and sad, but Oliver couldn't help but feel hopeful as he rested his forehead against the wrist he had just kissed. After all, the two of them saw the word differently sometimes. If she was so sure she wouldn't make it through this, he was obligated to believe she would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He said it.
> 
> That's all.
> 
> (And please, if you've read both chapters at the same time and want to review, leave a review on both chapters, since I will most likely be answering those of this one. So if you have any questions, feel free to ask! Oh, and now we only have two chapters left and an epilogue, so three more Wednesdays are covered and then I'll see how much I can write on my other fics! ;))
> 
> Lots of love peeps! :)
> 
> P.S. I hope you understand why Felicity couldn't say it back, but believe me, Oliver knows she loves him... I think that was pretty clear with her reaction and the last piece of dialogue. Oh, and next week, I have a feeling you guys will LOVE the chapter! Now, THAT'S ALL! ;)


	23. Fears and Other Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver gets home after a long day and gets ready to go to bed, when a sound from Felicity's room suddenly has him on high alert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Wednesday everyone!
> 
> I just want to say thank you for all the lovely reviews on the last chapter. It really means a lot to me that this story has been so positively reviewed and I really can't even begin to describe how happy you guys make me. =)
> 
> So, I just wanna say that this chapter was written while listening to "Glitter In The Air" by P!nk ON REPEAT, so if you wanna listen to something while reading it, I highly recommend that song! ;)
> 
> Now, without wasting any of your time (and I apologize for updating so late, but I have an exam tomorrow and I just couldn't get my head out of the book), please enjoy the chapter! ;)

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 23: Fears and Other Feelings**

**Word Count: 2,533**

* * *

Oliver silently unlocked the door to Felicity's house and stepped inside, putting his keys in the purple bowl on top of the drawer in the hallway. It was quiet, and since Felicity had taken the day off because she hadn't been feeling well, he assumed she had already gone to bed.

Neither of them had spoken about the fact that Oliver was basically living in her living room. Ever since that night when he had spent the night there and caught up on his sleep, he had spent pretty much every night there, only going home to change clothes sometimes. Of course, there was that one day or two where he had given her some space after discovering that she had been coughing up blood and then the week she'd spent in the hospital, but otherwise, he'd been there. After two weeks of sneaking in late at night after patrolling or knocking on the door, Felicity had walked up to him in the Foundry and simply given him a key.  
"I'll have a movie ready for tonight. If you're up for it," she'd said and for a moment, he had stared at her, dumbfounded, before nodding.

Thea had suggested that he move in with Felicity permanently. She liked having the freedom to get around freely. It meant that she could spend as much time as she wanted at Roy's place and Roy could come over whenever he wanted, without having Oliver interrupt their "hang outs". After inviting Felicity for a day at the spa, Thea had expressed her love for Oliver's friend by begging him to not be stupid anymore and just express his feelings for the woman. Oliver had nicely told her that he had already told Felicity how he felt about her, but that Felicity wasn't ready yet, and Thea had dropped the subject after telling him that it was pretty clear that his sick friend was head over heels in love with him too.

So yes, Oliver had been spending almost every night at Felicity's house, watching movies with her (sometimes Diggle came along too) before going to sleep on her couch. She had told him once that she actually had a guest room, but he insisted on sleeping on the couch. The way she sometimes looked at him made him wonder whether she suspected that the only reason he slept on the couch was so that he could be closer to her room. He was glad that she always left the door ajar, which meant he could fall asleep to the sound of her breathing, much like he had that first night he'd spent at her house. It was just one of those things that made it easier for him; hearing her breathing in the next room, assuring him that she was still with him.

Oliver opened the drawer she had emptied for him last week and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and walked into the bathroom to change. He brushed his teeth with the green toothbrush Felicity had bought him- yes, he had actually laughed when she had presented it to him- and washed his face before returning to the living room. Felicity had already prepared the couch for him and he groaned internally at her stubbornness. He had told her several times that she shouldn't strain herself and that he was perfectly capable of making his own bed. After all, he had spent five years on an Island and survived, so he wasn't completely useless. Despite that, she insisted on always having the make-shift bed ready for him when he got home and had told him multiple times that he just needed to be able to go to bed the second he got there, in case he was exhausted from his nightly activities. They had actually had a lengthy conversation about this and it had only ended when Diggle suggested they go grab something to eat.

Nevertheless, Oliver sighed as he laid down and closed his eyes, not bothering to pull the covers over himself just yet.

As he focused and mentally began counting Felicity's breaths, he slowly began drifting off to sleep. That was of course until something happened.

A small sniffling sound could be heard from Felicity's room.

Oliver was on alert instantly, sitting up straight on the couch. He listened closely, wondering whether it had just been his imagination, but when he heard the cry again, he rose from his seat and walked quickly to Felicity's room. He looked inside through the thin crack that had been left open and saw her petite body curled up on the left side of her bed. Her shoulders were shaking slightly as he heard hear drag in a deep breath before letting out a small, strangled sob. He stepped inside, but she didn't move. Her back was turned toward him, so he walked around the bed to check whether she was awake or just having a bad dream.

"Felicity?" he whispered carefully, looking at her face. Her eyes were shut tightly, tears streaming slowly down her cheeks. She opened her eyes a little, letting him know that she was awake, but didn't stop crying. "What's wrong?" he asked, sitting down on the bed next to her. He put his hand on her shoulder and brushed the pad of his thumb across the bare skin there. "Did you have a nightmare?"

She whimpered and shook her head, but she didn't reply verbally.

"Are you in pain?" he asked, moving a little closer to her. His eyes traveled to her stomach that she was clutching. She gave him a curt not and his own gut tightened. "Have you taken you pain medication?" he wondered and she once again nodded.

"It's not the pain," she spoke quietly, her voice breaking as she shut her eyes again.

"Then what is it, Felicity?" Oliver asked desperately. "I can't help if you don't tell me." He brushed his fingers against her cheek, hating that the woman he loved was hurting and that he couldn't do anything to help her. "I can bring you a glass of water, if you want me to-" he started to get up but her small hand wrapped around his wrist, stopping him.

"Please stay," she breathed, looking up at him with half-hooded eyes. "Just... _stay_."

He looked at her for a brief second before taking the hand that was wrapped around his wrist in his own. Carefully, so he wouldn't make her move too much and cause her more pain, he got under her covers, next to her.

They were turned so they were facing each other, and Oliver moved one of his hands so he could brush away the tears that continuously fell from her eyes.

"Talk to me, Felicity," he begged her. "Tell me what's wrong."

For a while, neither of them spoke. He let her cry, knowing that she had been holding it all in since she had revealed her illness to them. The strong, wonderful, absolutely beautiful woman that he had fallen in love with seemed to finally have reached her own breaking point. Oliver couldn't do anything other than hold on to her hand and wait for her to let it all out.

"You don't have to talk about it," he told her after a while. "If you don't want to..." he trailed off, his own voice sounding foreign to his ears.

"I want to," she finally said, still crying silently. "It's not the pain, Oliver..." she revealed. Their joined hands were resting between them on the bed, but there was still some distance between them. "I'm scared," she admitted, her voice low as she looked into his eyes. "I am so, so unbelievably scared..."

The tears started flowing again and Oliver squeezed her hand lightly before running his thumb over her cheek with the other. "Shh..." he hushed her, "It's okay. I'm scared too."

"What if something goes wrong?" she asked. It was clear that she was referring to her surgery that had been scheduled in two weeks. "What if I die?"

"You won't, Felicity," Oliver argued. "You'll be just fine, you'll see. Diggle and I will be there and we'll wait for you after the surgery. You'll be okay."

"Do you think it hurts?" she whispered. "Dying?"

Oliver's chest tightened at her words. It felt as if someone had just throw a sledgehammer at him. "Felicity," he said her name carefully.

"Humor me," she said, a tight smile appearing on her face.

Oliver swallowed. "You're remarkable," he told her, reflecting her smile with one of his own without even meaning to. Despite the fact that she was terrified and in pain, she was able to get him to smile. "But no," he finally replied. "I don't think it hurts."

"I hope it doesn't," she reflected. "In case something goes wrong... I hope I just go quick and don't suffer."

"You won't have to experience it anytime soon, Felicity," Oliver reassured, but his voice was weak too.

"We don't know that," she said. "We have to prepare for the worst..." she trailed off, closing her eyes. She had stopped crying, he noticed and her breathing evened out. He wondered whether she had fallen asleep or not. It had become a habit of hers whenever they were home alone.

_Home_.

He smiled a little to himself as he realized his own thought. She was his home and he loved her.

"Felicity?" he whispered quietly. She hummed in response, letting him know that she was still with him and awake. "Do you want me to leave you alone? I can go back to the couch if you-"

"Stay, Oliver," she interrupted, squeezing his hand a little tighter. "Stay with me tonight."

He couldn't help but let out a breath of relief and smiled to himself when she moved a little closer to him, her eyes still closed.

"I don't want to be alone tonight," she told him. He moved a little closer himself, one of his hands resting on her hip while his other remained intertwined with hers between them.

"You'll never be alone," he whispered back, a tear slowly making its way down his own cheek. He hadn't realized he was crying until she opened her eyes and put her small hand to his cheek to brush his tears away. "I love you," he told her, and just as the last time he had told her, he began feeling a little lighter.

He almost regretted saying it though, when tears once again began falling from her eyes. He rubbed small circles on her hip with his thumb as she moved closer to him, her hand falling from his cheek down to his chest, resting over his heart.

"I love you," he said again as he closed his eyes and breathed her in. His forehead was suddenly resting against hers and their breaths mingled. He hadn't realized just how close they had gotten to each other until their noses brushed lightly.

The strawberry smell of her body wash filled his nostrils as she moved closer yet again. Their bodies were pressed against each other, their intertwined hands resting between them, her hand still on his chest and his other still on her hip.

He opened his eyes and stared into hers. She seemed to be looking for something...a sign... Without thinking, he moved a little closer and her eyes fell half-shut. Taking a few breaths, he lowered his lips, aiming for her cheek.

Felicity, however, seemed to have other plans. When he moved in toward her cheek, she turned her head slightly, once again brushing her nose against his. He looked at her and she opened her eyes fully. They were both breathing heavily, the air and the tension thick between them. Oliver leaned closer, his lips ghosting over hers, holding her gaze.

"I love you," he whispered again before he closed the small gap that remained between them. Their lips brushed and Oliver closed his eyes as he felt the electric currents run through him. Felicity's hand that had rested on his chest moved up to cup his cheek as she leaned closer and pressed her lips against his once more. His hand that rested on her hip moved to her lower back as he embraced her, holding her tightly to himself while being careful not to hurt her or cause her any pain and discomfort.

He wasn't sure what had come over them, but he knew that he didn't care one bit to find out. For the first time, since all of this had started, he was happy. Sure, the woman he loved was sick and there was absolutely no guarantee that she would make it, but at the moment, nothing other than Felicity's perfect lips mattered.

The kiss was so incredibly soft and sweet, unlike anything that he had ever experienced. Every time Felicity's lips connected with his, it felt as if she was helping him and giving him strength to breathe again. Everything, her sickness and his worries, faded in comparison, and in the end, it was just the two of them there, in her room, holding on to each other.

They were both crying silently when they finally pulled apart. His hand rose to her cheek and her eyes remained closed as he stared at her. "I love you so much, Felicity," he told her again, his voice thick with emotion. She nodded quietly before leaning in again, pecking him lightly on his cheek, then his jaw, his nose, the corner of his lips before finally slanting her mouth over his again.

Oliver knew she wouldn't say it back, because she had told him that she couldn't, but he felt as if her actions spoke a thousand times louder than any of her words ever could. As he deepened the kiss, he could feel her tears mingling with his own as their cheeks brushed against each other.

It felt both wonderful and terrifying at the same time. He was happy that he'd finally gotten to kiss her, but the fact that their future was still uncertain scared him. In that moment, as they pulled away but remained pressed against each other, he pictured himself with Felicity, ten years from now. It was so easy, to imagine the future they would share together and it killed him inside to know that they may never get to have that together, all depending on how the surgery in two weeks goes. One thing he was sure of though. No matter what happened, he would never stop telling her just how much she means to him and every second that remained of their life, he would tell her how much he loves her.

They didn't talk about it, but when Felicity squeezed his hand, Oliver knew that she was still with him. He closed his eyes and once again breathed in her strawberry scent, wanting to memorize everything about this moment.

It didn't take long for him to fall asleep. Especially when Felicity was pressed to him, her face buried in the crook of his neck, and everything that was wrong with the world was forgotten for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. I really, really, really hope you liked that. Like, really.
> 
> Action speaks louder than words so please leave a review and tell me what you thought. I mean, not to fish for reviews or anything, but the reason I posted two chapters last week was because the story passed the 300 mark on fanfiction! ;)
> 
> Anyways, as I said before, I really hope you like it. This one was by far one of my favorite chapters to write and I can only say that O'm looking forward to next week already because that's the final chapter and then it's just the epilogue left! *Gasp* But don't worry, I have some other stories up my sleeve and as soon as the exam is over tomorrow, I'll be free to write! ;)
> 
> I'm sending you all gigantic hugs and lots and lots of love!
> 
> xx


	24. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of Felicity's surgery has finally come and the outcome will determine her future. When Diggle excuses himself to give Oliver and Felicity a moment to talk, some interesting topics are brought up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guuuuuuuuuys! This is the last chapter! I'm so excited yet sort of sad that the story is coming to an end! It's really been a wonderful journey and since this has been my first Olicity fic ever, and I'm so incredibly happy that I've joined this fandom, I won't be leaving it anytime soon.
> 
> I just wanted to say that there will be one more "chapter" of this story, which is actually the epilogue, so don't worry about the end just yet! Also, I've been thinking about writing a companion piece to this story with one-shots that never really made it into the full story. BUT (and it's a big 'but') I can't focus on that at the moment, since I want to finish my other fic "Alternate" and then I have a couple of non-connected one-shots that I want to post too. Anyway, that was the information I wanted to give you guys for now.
> 
> So please, enjoy this final chapter, but don't forget that it isn't the end yet! The epilogue is left! ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Chapter 24: Scars**

**Word count: 3,810**

* * *

Oliver stood, leaning his back against the wall as some nurses checked Felicity's vitals. Diggle was standing next to him, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched their friend being prepared for the surgery that would be taking place in an hour and a half.

These last two weeks before the surgery had felt a lot easier, at least for Oliver. The moment he and Felicity had shared that night when he had found her crying had brought the two of them closer to each other, despite the fact that there hadn't been a repeat of the kiss.

Sometimes he could still feel the tingling sensation on his own lips as he remembered how she had carefully pressed hers to them. He would also be lying if he told anyone that he hadn't had a dream or ten about kissing Felicity senseless since that night. Despite all that, he had decided that he wouldn't pressure her until she was ready, just as he didn't push her to tell him that she loved him too. The looks she gave him were enough for him and for the time being, the only thing he could think about was her getting better.

The last two weeks, he had practically forced Felicity to stay out of the Foundry and Queen Consolidated so that she could gather her strength for her surgery. Okay, so she hadn't exactly been working at Queen Consolidated for a couple of weeks now, but she still tried to come around every day to make sure that Oliver's  _temporary_  replacement was doing her job well. Most of those days, she just sat on his couch and tried to catch up on her reading, but usually fell asleep half-way through the first page.

These last two weeks Diggle was usually the one who kept her company while Oliver had early morning board meetings and in the afternoon, Oliver would make sure to accompany her on a walk around the neighborhood before heading to the Foundry. He would end his patrols around one in the morning and head home, only to find her asleep on the couch, waiting for him and he made sure to not wake her up as he carried her to her bedroom and tucked her in. Most nights however, she would wake up a few minutes later, call his name and he would crawl into bed with her and hold her hand throughout the night.

Things had been okay, to say the least.

Her pain medication helped her and he would never forget the morning she had woken up before him and basically squealed in joy as she pointed at her head.

"Look, Oliver!" she had beamed. "My hair! It's growing!"

She had been sitting in front of her large mirror and he had sat up, leaning back against her headboard, watching her with a smile on his face. Sure enough, there were a few millimeters of hair on her formerly completely bald head.

"It's because the chemo ended," she proudly told him. "Look at those dirty blonde hairs growing," she had basically cooed, effectively making him laugh.

Of course, the amazing time they were having together and their daily routine ended two days ago when the reality of what was going to happen soon set in. Felicity had expressed her concerns that night two weeks ago, about dying and unfortunately, those thoughts weren't suppressed easily. The last two days she'd been antsy and Oliver had, after a long talk with Diggle, agreed to let her come down to the Foundry and check on things. It had helped to an extent, but Oliver still had to hold her through the night when they got home, whispering small, reassuring words into her ear as she fell asleep.

Now the time had come for her surgery and Felicity seemed calmer than she had ever been. Oliver and Diggle knew that she was worried though. This surgery would determine her fate, that much was sure. If the treatments  _did_  work Dr. Applebeam reassured them that they would take immediate action and remove the things that remained of the tumor.

The other outcome, the one that scared Oliver the most, was that the chemotherapy and radiation hadn't helped shrink the growth, which ultimately meant that there was nothing else the doctors could do to help her except try to make her remaining time more comfortable for her. Oliver hoped and found himself praying silently to every god he could remember at the top of his head that it wouldn't come to that.

"Dr. Applebeam will be here in an hour," one of the nurses said as she scribbled something down on the chart she held in her hand. "Then we'll get you to the operating room, Ms. Smoak," she informed with a small smile. "I'll give you and your friends some alone time now and I'll see you later," she said and walked out of the room, closing the door behind herself.

"How are you doing?" Diggle asked Felicity, who bit her lip.

"Surprisingly enough, I'm doing good," she said, her voice sounding a little breathy. "Is it wrong that the only thing I can think about currently is a huge cheeseburger and some fries?" she quipped, making Oliver's lips curl up in a small smile.

Diggle chuckled and she shot him a playful glare. "I'm serious!" she told them. "I haven't eaten anything since yesterday because of this stupid surgery and I'm  _starving_."

"Well," Diggle began, "how about we get you a burger and some fries later when you get the clear from Dr. Applebeam?"

"Sure," Felicity scoffed. "He'll probably just give me a lecture on how the grease will give me heartburn or something..." she trailed off, shaking her head. "Whatever the outcome is, I  _will_  be eating fries later," she insisted. "You can sneak them in if Dr. Applebeam tells me I can only eat that horrible pudding knock-off they serve here," she instructed.

"I'll make sure you get some fries later," Diggle laughed. "If I can't get them past security, Oliver can hood up and pay you a nightly visit," he winked.

"As long as I get my fries," Felicity laughed. It was the best sound in the world, Oliver decided. He would make sure to make her laugh more often once all of this was over.

They sat there, talking and joking around for an hour before Dr. Applebeam came into the room. The doctor explained to them once again all the risks and possible outcomes of the surgery before telling them they had another thirty minutes before he would come get Felicity transferred to the operating room.

They were quiet for a while after the doctor walked out, the reality setting in.

"How about I give you two a couple of minutes?" Diggle suggested, already rising from his seat. "I'll just be down the hall, if you need me," he said, leaning down to kiss Felicity's cheek. As he walked past Oliver, he offered him a friendly pat on the shoulder before stepping out of the room.

For a minute, Felicity and Oliver just watched each other. How could he break the silence when he wasn't sure what to say about what was about to happen? Luckily, Felicity was the one who spoke up first, but she surprised him with her choice of topic.

"I'll have a scar too after this," she told him, a smile playing on her lips. "Right  _here_ ," she said, moving her finger in a straight line over her stomach. "I'll be just like you."

The way she said it, as if it was something good made his heart hurt. He never wanted this for her. He never wanted her to be scarred, he didn't want her to die and he most certainly didn't want her to become like him.

"I never wanted this for you," he told her, looking at his hands that rested in his lap. "I wish you wouldn't have to be scarred; like _me_."

His eyes met hers again as he felt her small hand grasp his. She was smiling at him tenderly and once again, she managed to send a wave of emotions through him. "Do you know what I see when I see your scars, Oliver?" she asked slowly, a smile still playing on her lips. "Do you know what they represent?"

Hundreds of things flashed though Oliver's mind, but he only voiced the two of them that had plagued him since he returned to Starling City. "A broken and beaten man," he said, his voice nearly breaking because that was exactly what he was. Felicity was  _perfect_  in every way, at least to him. The reason he had stayed away from her until now was that he believed she deserved better than him. He still believed that at times, but he no longer bothered to suppress his love for the beauty that was in front of him.

"No, Oliver," Felicity spoke up softly. "I see a  _kind_  and  _beautiful_  man, who has been through so, so much and come out on the other side, against all odds," she told him, her thumb brushing against his palm. "I see a  _survivor_ , Oliver," she clarified, this time, her voice stronger as her eyes locked on his, "and I want to be one too."

Oliver leaned pulled hand up to his lips and kissed it, without even thinking as he watched her, adoration evident in every feature on his face. With her words, she had not only made him feel better, but also proven to him once again why he loved her so much. She was amazing and she always saw the best in people and even though she might be learning that there wasn't anything else to do about herself, she still tried to make it easier on the people around her.

" _But_ , in case things don't go my way, I want you to know that I had a will written," she told him, a small smile still on her face. Of course, the horrible sense of humor she had developed after being diagnosed was also one of those things that he adored about her. He knew it was her way of dealing with what was about to happen, so he decided to humor her for once.

"Oh? Do I get anything?" he joked, despite the painful way his heart clenched whenever he thought about Felicity dying.

"Well, I have decided to leave all the money I have saved to the Arrow," she informed him. "Of course, no one will know that it's the Arrow, since I opened an account by using an alias and creating a fake profile."

"Felicity," Oliver sighed, hearing the seriousness in her tone. "I don't need the money. I have plenty as it is and I don't want it."

"I want you to have it," she told him sternly. "And it's not just for you, now is it? It's for  _the_   _Arrow_ , which means that his partners in crime are included too. By giving you guys the money, it will be as if a part of me will always be there too, invested in our equipment," she explained.

Oliver cleared his throat, feeling that helpless feeling bubble up inside of him again.

"And I want you to call my mom," Felicity said. "If I die, I want you to call her and tell her that I loved her, despite everything we went through. I want you to tell her that I fought bravely until the very end and I want you to tell Hank, her husband, that he was more of a father to me than anyone ever was."

Oliver looked at her in wonder. He was the type of person who had a difficult time moving forward when someone had hurt him. Before the Island he would easily brush things to the side and forgive way too easily, but after his return home, he didn't trust as many people as he used to and he most certainly didn't forgive them if they wronged him.

Felicity, on the other hand, was different. Once again, she proved that she was the bigger person, ready to forgive her mother for what she had been put through since her biological father had abandoned them.

"Oh, and I want Diggle to have my DVD-collection and that foot massaging carpet that I know he uses every time he uses the bathroom downstairs," Felicity said, breaking through his thoughts. "I got it on sale and quite frankly, he has used it more than I ever have."

"Anything else?" Oliver asked, his chest a little tighter than it was a few minutes ago.

"I want you to go on," she told him, squeezing his hand, "and be the hero that I know you are."

At her words a tear made its way down Oliver's cheek and he furiously wiped it away.

"This never should have happened to you, Felicity," he said. "You don't deserve this."

"No one ever does, Oliver," she somberly said, and he recalled a similar conversation they had had months ago, when this all started.

"I'm sorry for everything," he told her. "I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you. I swore I would protect you." Three more tears fell from his eyes and he buried his head on the bed, close to her side as his shoulder shook lightly. He was clutching her hand desperately and her other hand fell to his head as she ran her fingers through his hair, soothing him.

"I'm not," she told him after a while, when he managed to gather himself. He had broken down in front of her for the first time since the night of their first kiss and he didn't regret the momentary weakness. He had fought tooth and nail to protect her, but he had failed her. No matter how many alternate treatments he had looked up, how many diets he had tried to put her on, nothing had worked. The therapy had been strong and he hoped things would be better, but it didn't change the fact that he wished he could have done  _more_  for her.

"I'm not sorry, Oliver," Felicity repeated, tugging lightly on his hair, forcing him to look up at her. "I don't regret joining you and Diggle on your crusade," she smiled, her eyes brimmed with tears that didn't fall.

She was so strong.

He loved her.

"The time that I have shared with you has been the best time of my life, Oliver," she told him. "I've gotten to feel important and to feel what it's like to be a part of something better. I've saved lives and learned what it feels like to be  _loved_ , so I don't regret  _anything_."

The tone she used shook him. He knew he didn't want to put any pressure on her, but he felt as if every single second that passed only meant that more time between them was wasted.

"Will you say it?" he asked her, standing up from his chair, watching her carefully. There wasn't a question about what he meant with 'it'.

"We'll see," she said in a teasing tone. "Depending on how things turn out after the surgery."

Oliver couldn't help but smile at her before bending down to claim her lips with his own. Everything he had felt during their first kiss came rushing back at him. The electricity and the butterflies were still there, making him wonder if it would always feel this good to kiss her.

Felicity's hand caressed his cheek lightly as she returned the kiss softly and neither of them heard the door open, too involved with the way their lips moved in complete and perfect synchronization with each other.

It was the clearing of a throat that finally made them pull away and they both turned, only to find Diggle standing in the door way. The smug look that adorned his face told Oliver that the older man wasn't at all surprised by what he had just witnessed.

"I just saw Dr. Applebeam," Diggle told them. "He's on his way here and I figured I should tell you guys that it's almost time."

The two of them nodded, but their fingers remained laced together.

A couple of minutes later, Dr. Applebeam arrived, a team of doctors following him into the room as they gave one last briefing before rolling Felicity out of the room. Oliver helped them roll the bed, never letting go of Felicity's hand as Diggle followed suit behind them.

"This is as far as I can let you come," Dr. Applebeam said, stopping in front of a door. "I'll give you a moment," he told them, stepping aside.

Diggle stepped up to the bed and smiled down at Felicity. "You go in there and you kick the hell out of that thing inside of you," he instructed, his tone both playful and serious.

"I don't think that's physically possible," Felicity said, "and not only because I'll be unconscious the entire time, Dig." A small giggle followed her statement and Oliver's heart fluttered just a little, in that absolutely wonderful way it always did when he was around her.

"You know what I mean," Diggle said, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. She closed her eyes briefly before looking up at him again.

"I'll see you later, John," she told him and kissed his cheek.

Diggle looked up at Oliver, nodding curtly before stepping aside. Oliver turned to Felicity, who was looking up at him with a smile on her face.

"Hey," he said softly, leaning down to press his lips to hers once more. It was just a peck, but he stayed close to her even after he pulled away from her, their foreheads touching. "I'll be waiting for you," he told her.

"I'll see you soon," she whispered, her eyes falling to his lips again. He took that as her permission and kissed her again.

"I love you," he whispered back as they pulled away.

"I know," she murmured, cupping his cheek before pressing her lips to his again.

They both knew that everyone who was close to them could hear them, including Diggle, Dr. Applebeam and some other nurses, but neither of them cared. This small moment was all about them and everything else seemed to fade in comparison.

This kiss was by far Oliver's favorite. Everything that he knew that Felicity was too scared to tell him at the time, was conveyed in it and deep inside, he hoped that everything would go well so that they could do this again and again and again.

She was the only one for him.

He only wanted her.

When the doctors finally rolled her through the doors, she turned in her bed and waved at him and Diggle, beaming at them despite her fear and Oliver let out a breath her wasn't even aware he had been holding before waving back.

-§-

The hours that followed were pure agony for Oliver.

He and Diggle were sitting in the waiting room next to each other and Oliver's face was buried in his hands as the clock on the wall ticked away.

"Are you going to tell me what all that was about?" Diggle asked after an hour of silence. Oliver looked up at his friend with a quirked eyebrow. "I'm just trying to make the time pass," Diggle shrugged.

"Wasn't it obvious?" Oliver asked, not being able to hide his amusement.

Once again, Diggle shrugged. "For what it's worth," he said, "I'm happy that the two of you have finally found each other. I just wish that it had been under different circumstances."

Oliver looked at his friend, leaning back in his chair. "Honestly Dig, I think I've always known it was her," he told his friend. "Since the moment I met her and she trusted me enough not to question my crappy lies," he chuckled sadly.

"You love her," Diggle pointed out, a smile on his face.

"I do," Oliver confirmed. "I love her so much, Dig, and I just want her to get better so I can spend every day of the rest of our lives telling her just how much."

Diggle didn't comment, but he did put a comforting hand on Oliver's shoulder, silently telling him that he was proud of how far he had come since they met.

-§-

Oliver watched Felicity's still unconscious form as he approached her slowly. Dr. Applebeam had finally let them into her room after far too many agonizing hours. The surgery had taken longer than originally planned and the doctor had only told them that there hadn't been any complications. They couldn't tell them anything else until after Felicity woke up so they had allowed them to stay with her in the post-operation room.

Another forty minutes passed before Felicity's eyes began fluttering open. Diggle and Oliver sprung to their feet, looking down at her.

"Hi," she whispered hoarsely, her mouth twitching as she tried to smile at them.

"Hi," Oliver smiled back, his eyes once again tearing up, this time out of happiness.

"You're here," she pointed out, this time successfully grinning at him.

"I told you I would be," he reminded her.

"And you're here too," she said, turning to Diggle slowly. "Thank you."

"There's no need to thank us, Felicity," Diggle assured her. "We will always be here for you."

"I know," she nodded, closing her eyes briefly. A strange sound rose in her throat and for a second, Oliver was worried something might be wrong with her. Then, he realized she was actually chuckling, but her hoarse voice made it sound strange.

"Hey," she said, turning to Oliver again, forcing him to meet her gaze. "I got my scar," she informed him, sounding proud.

"Yes," Oliver breathed out. "Yes, you did."

"I'm awesome," she said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"You're remarkable," he told her, pressing his lips to her hand, careful not to touch the I.V:s that were connected to her.

"Thank you for remarking on it," she smiled softly as the door opened. Oliver turned his attention to Dr. Applebeam who walked in, followed by the other doctors that had operated on Felicity. The man was looking through some papers, not looking up at them yet.

Both Oliver and Diggle rose to stand, each of them holding onto one of Felicity's hands as they prepared to hear how things had gone.

When Dr. Applebeam finally looked up, Oliver's stomach flipped. Whether it was because his mind was solely focused on Felicity's small hand grasping his a little tighter or something else, he didn't know. The only thing he knew was that for the first time, in a long, long time, he couldn't read  _anything_  off of the doctor's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T SHOOT ANY ARROWS AT ME! *ducks anyway*
> 
> Yeah, so it started out a little fluffy, I guess, but of course, I just couldn't help myself and HAD to end with a little cliffhanger! ^^ I'm a horrible person, I know! But here's the thing: If you're good and tell me what you thought of the chapter, you might be able to convince me to post the epilogue sooner! Say...tomorrow or the day after that? ;)
> 
> Tell me what you thought of the chapter and please, do tell me which chapter has been your favorite one! My top three are definitively these last few chapters, meaning 22, 23 and this one (24). So, tell me and I'll love you forever! And thank you for all the support you've shown so far! I can't wait to start sharing other stories with you guys! =)
> 
> Many hugs and thanks! xx


	25. Epilogue: The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I wanna go ahead and say that this story has been one hell of a ride! Phew, seriously! You guys can't imagine how wonderful it's been for me to wake up every morning after I've posted a chapter, only to see all the beautiful comments. You guys are amazing and I love each and every one of you- which means that I won't be making a long thank you list with everyone, but I will be saying THANK YOU for all the reviews and kind words and all the support you've given me throughout this story!
> 
> This was my first official Olicity fic and the fact that it passed 400 reviews on fanfiction still amazes me, no matter how many times you guys tell me that I deserve it! :)
> 
> I just wanted to sort of discretely dedicate this story to someone... Ehm, my mom, who passed away two and a half years ago. A lot of the things you've read in this story have been inspired by her journey. She wasn't just my mom, she was my best friend too and she'll always be in my heart. She never got the chance to watch Arrow with me, but I know that if she had, she would have been fangirling as much as me over it. Really, I miss her and the fact that this story- which sorta indirectly is her story too- got this kind of praise, truly means a lot. I can never express how thankful I am.
> 
> So, I just wanted to mention that I listened to the "Little Things" acoustic tribute of One Direction's song in the beginning of this chapter and then moved on to the acoustic tribute of "You and I". If you've heard the tributes, feel free to listen to them on repeat while reading.
> 
> And now, I'm sorry for the long note, but things needed to be said! ^^
> 
> Please enjoy this final chapter of Crumbled Papers!

" **Crumbled Papers"**

**Epilogue: The End**

**Word Count: 2,309**

* * *

_Four months later..._

The walk felt a lot longer than Oliver would have ever believed it could feel. The autumn winds were blowing softly, making orange, yellowed and red leaves fall from the trees and whirl around his feet as he walked. He wrapped his wool scarf a little tighter around his neck, gloved hands clutching a bouquet of yellow roses that he knew would die in just a couple of days anyway. That didn't stop him though, because he knew he needed this, now more than ever.

The cemetery was quiet and Oliver desperately tried to gather his thoughts that had been scattered since that day Felicity had walked into his office, a crumbled piece of paper in her grip.

It was strange really, how fragile people were.

The thought had hit him last night when he had had trouble sleeping and finally, he had managed to convince himself that he needed to at least give it a try to settle the storm that had been raging inside of him this past year.

When he reached the destination he had had in mind, he stopped in front of the gravestone and simply stared at it for a good while in silence.

"I'm sorry," he whispered quietly, his voice weak, even breaking a little. "I'm sorry for everything that happened to you. It never should have happened to you..." he trailed off as the wind picked up again and he closed his eyes, feeling it's caress against his cheek.

This last year had certainly been a whirlwind of changes in his life, the biggest one being dealing with Felicity and her illness. After he had first found out about her cancer, he had struggled to get on the same page as her. They had argued over her will to survive and their mutual stubbornness to take care of each other. She had gotten better, then worse, then better again and there wasn't a single time that he could remember, where he had been absolutely certain of what would happen to her in the end.

Despite their fights, struggles and other differences, Oliver had been forced to come to terms with the inevitable.

He had fallen in love with his best friend.

His wonderful, amazingly stunning IT-girl. Never would he have imagined that he could fall for someone like her and fall so quickly and hard that it hurt every second that he was apart from her.

How was it possible for one person to grow so much on him? Someone who had been a complete stranger to him at first, someone he had immediately grown to trust more than the people he had know since before the Island...

When he been with her at the hospital for her first treatment, the thought had simply crossed his mind. What if he was in love with her? What if she died, never knowing how his heart actually skipped a beat every time she would give him  _the_  look that told him that she knew he was keeping something from her? He was afraid that he would scare her off and when Diggle had told him that he needed to get his emotions sorted before jumping into anything, because she deserved better, he knew that he would have to wait and explore whatever it was that was happening to him.

After coming to terms with the fact that he truly, deeply did love her, he hadn't been able to keep his mouth shut. There was no doubt whatsoever inside of him and he had confessed his love to her. He would never regret that he had told her the truth. Diggle had been right that time. Felicity  _did_  deserve the best and he hadn't said anything until he was absolutely one hundred and ten percent sure that he was in love with her.

Oliver knelt down, removing his leather gloves before tracing the letters on the gravestone with his fingers and then inhaled sharply.

"Will it ever hurt less?" he asked out loud. "Or will I just get used to the pain, eventually?" He placed the yellow roses in front of the stone and closed his eyes again. "I failed you," he said, "but I know that we both did everything we could."

The pain in his chest wasn't subsiding though. The loss he felt had been weighting down on him every single day since it had happened. He was consumed in his own thoughts, when he felt a small, warm hand come to rest on his shoulder.

Despite everything, a smile made its way onto his face as he looked up to see his beautiful friend looking down at him. Her glasses were a little fogged and her other hand was holding her coat together tightly. The hat she was wearing, the same one she had worn at the airport when they had traveled to Russia, covered most of her head, but her dirty blonde curls that had grown quickly after the chemo had ended were visible and now they almost reached her shoulders. Around her neck, her dark green scarf-  _his_  scarf- was secured, keeping the cold out.

Oliver smiled at her as he stood up, reaching for her hand. She took it without hesitation and took a step forward.

"Is this weird?" he asked her, but she shook her head.

"No, it's not weird," she replied softly, looking at the tombstone. "Hi, Tommy," she spoke aloud. "I'm Felicity, Oliver's friend."

Oliver looked at the stone again front of him, Tommy's name carved into it. Most people would probably find it strange that they were talking to a dead person, but when he had told Felicity last night that he wanted to visit Tommy's grave because he was in need to talk to him, she had told him she would come to him right after her scheduled appointment.

"She's more than my friend, Tommy," Oliver whispered, barely audible.  _She's the love of my life_ , he thought, hoping that wherever Tommy was, he could hear his thoughts.

"You didn't fail Tommy, Oliver," Felicity told him after a while. "You did everything you could to help him, but it just wasn't written. He's in a better place."

"Do you really believe so?" Oliver questioned, his eyes leaving the stone to meet hers. "That he's in a better place?"

"I do," she nodded. "With all my heart." She squeezed his hand lightly.

"I know there wasn't anything else I could have done," he said. "That doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt."

"And it will probably always hurt, Oliver," Felicity acknowledged, "but you just have to keep fighting and keep going forward. If anything, you should do it for Tommy."

He contemplated her words for a while before nodding. "You're right, as usual," he said, a hint of amusement making its way into his tone.

"We just need to stay positive, right?" she wondered. "I mean, good things come to those who think positively, don't they?"

Oliver smiled lightly at her. "Felicity, I'm happy that I didn't lose you too," he told her as the wind once again picked up around them. Her healthy hair whirled around a little in the process, framing her face as she closed her eyes, unknowingly taking Oliver's breath away.

She was beautiful.

A smile adorned her face and she opened her eyes to look at him again. "Are you ready to leave?" she asked. "We can come back again next week if you want? Make it an annual thing? Like, visiting him once every week? Twice if you need it," she quickly added.

"I'm ready," he replied with a small grin.

They glanced at Tommy's grave once more.

"He would be proud of you," Felicity noted.

"I hope so," Oliver responded. "He would have liked you, if he had ever gotten to know you."

"I hope so," she mimicked him before they began walking back.

As they made their way out of the cemetery and toward the car where Diggle was waiting, Felicity suddenly pulled him to a stop.

"Everything okay?" he asked, his eyes searching hers momentarily.

"I got the results from last week's check up," she told him.

"Oh?" Oliver swallowed. "Is everything...?"

"You won't be losing me anytime soon, Oliver," she beamed at him. "Dr. Applebeam has officially declared me cancer-free."

The weight that had been settled in his chest all day finally lifted as his heart swelled with pride and love.

"I'll have to keep coming in for monthly checkups though," Felicity continued. "At least for a year before we start increasing the time between them and hopefully, in five years, they won't be mandatory anymore."

Oliver just reacted, stepping forward and embracing her tightly. He could literally feel her smiling against his chest as her arms wrapped around him too. They held on to each other for so long, that neither knew how much time had actually passed when Felicity finally pulled away a little, looking up at him with teary eyes.

"Tell me again," she whispered, her voice so low that her words were almost lost in the wind. She must have seen the confusion in his face, so she quickly clarified, "Tell me what you told me that day, when we got home. Tell me what you told me before I went into surgery."

The memory flooded back to him and suddenly, it was perfectly clear what she meant. She had told him that she would tell him once she was better, and even though Dr. Applebeam had told them after her surgery that her cancer hadn't spread and that they had managed to remove the tumors completely, she had still been too afraid to say it.

One of her small hands was clutching his jacket tightly while the other rested on his shoulder. He covered the hand that was holding onto him tightly with his own before reaching up with his other hand to cup her cheek. Instantly, her grip relaxed a bit as their eyes met.

"I love you, Felicity," he said, the words he had said so many times slipping easily from his lips. This time, it felt a lot different though, because for the first time, he knew what was going to happen. He knew what she was going to say and this would change everything for them.

Lifting the hand she had rested on his shoulder, she moved to trace her fingers slowly across his stubbled jaw before settling on his cheek, mirroring him perfectly. He automatically moved into her touch, closing his eyes before pressing his lips first to her open palm and then to her wrist. He didn't dare to open his eyes, his heart beating crazily in his chest.

"I love you too, Oliver."

His eyes shot open at her words and he turned to face her again. There were still tears in her eyes, but happiness was written clearly on her face. There was no hesitation as they moved forward together, in complete sync, closing the distance between them.

Both her hands were on his cheeks as she drew him into her while one of his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him, desperate to feel the heat that she radiated. Their lips moved together as they tried to show each other just how true their words were, but they knew that after everything, they really didn't have anything to prove.

He had stayed with her, through everything that she had gone through, just as he had promised her. Every time she had felt awful, he had been there, trying to cheer her up. He had agreed to her silly requests for adrenaline rushes and he had held her hand through every appointment, reassuring her that he wouldn't leave her side, whatever anyone threw at them.

She had made it through the hardship. She was  _alive_ , against all odds and for the first time in years, Oliver felt complete.

They pulled apart slowly, savoring each other as they once again wrapped their arms around each other.

"Let's go home," Felicity said and he nodded, lacing their fingers together as they walked back to the car where Diggle stood, waiting for them as he leaned against the hood. There was a smile on his face and they all knew that they would be okay.

After everything that had happened, they were finally together. He might have been the one to have stayed by her side through her illness, but truthfully, she had been his own savior in every way since his return from Lian Yu and he would be forever grateful for having been directed to her office when he had needed help with the bullet-ridden computer.

Later that night, when they laid on  _their_  bed together, Felicity moved to open a drawer, taking out a paper that looked like it had been folded and unfolded a hundred times, at least. She reached for her red sharpie that rested on her nightstand and opened the paper so that Oliver could see it. It was the same paper she had shown him  _that_  day. It was her letter from the hospital that had told her that she had been headed for certain death.

Felicity quickly scribbled down a couple of words on the paper with her red sharpie.

_Another enemy defeated._

Oliver looked at her and smiled. "Are we getting that framed?" he asked.

"Maybe we could hang it in the Foundry? To remind ourselves that nothing is impossible when it comes to us," she nodded. He bent down, kissing her exposed shoulder before pulling her closer to himself. She let out a joyous laugh as Oliver peppered her neck with kisses, causing her to drop the crumbled piece of paper to the floor before she turned her full attention to him.

They were happy and together.

As they should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I trick any of you? ;) I'm a sucker for romance, so OF COURSE you guys broke me and managed to convince me to let Felicity live! That didn't however mean that I needed to give you guys a straight answer in the first sentence of the epilogue, right? ;)
> 
> Once again: It's been a wonderful journey and it's been hard letting go of this story just because it's so close to my heart, but everything needs an ending! :) As I might have mentioned, I've been planning on writing an alternative ending (angst-fest because Felicity dies in that one), but at the moment I don't have time to write it. I also want to give you guys a couple of one-shots that never made it into the real story, but I'll most likely write those when I have time (I start working today, so that is also a part of why I updated so early today!). I have other projects going on too, so for now this story will be over, but whenever I decide to pick up writing those one-shots, you'll know! ;) I think someone mentioned in a review that they wanted a wedding... Maybe?
> 
> So, since this is the final note: THANK YOU for all the support and I love you guys!
> 
> You'll be seeing more from me in the future... ;)
> 
> But for now, have a wonderful day! xx


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